The Prayers

[batman2883]

FEMALE PRAYER

Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong, one who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks, one who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed, when I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door, massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, knows what to answer to "how
big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end, and always be my very best
friend.
Amen.


MALE PRAYER

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store
and a fishing boat.
This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a sh#t. Amen

[Solid D]

I have come to the realization that the complexities of life between men and women are summed up in these two questions:

1) Why is it that when a woman tells you that her fingernail is broken, that a good answer from her man is simply "Oh, I'm sorry honey"?
yet...
2) Why is it that when a woman tells you that her garbage disposer is broken, that a good answer from her man is NOT simply "Oh, I'm sorry honey"?

[SpursWoman]

I have come to the realization that the complexities of life between men and women are summed up in these two questions:

1) Why is it that when a woman tells you that her fingernail is broken, that a good answer from her man is simply "Oh, I'm sorry honey"?
yet...
2) Why is it that when a woman tells you that her garbage disposer is broken, that a good answer from her man is NOT simply "Oh, I'm sorry honey"?

Because a broken fingernail (a real one, anyway), it might hurt like a mofo, but can be fixed with a nail clipper, glue, emery board, and/or a band aid if necessary. Or less than $10 at a nail place.

A broken garbage disposal requires a minimum $60 trip from a plumber, and extra-stinky trash for you to take out if you don't get up and fix it.

We're only thinking of you, dear.

[Solid D]

You are sounding wayyyyy too practical. Besides, if her man jumped up to try to fix the fingernail for her (like his natural tendencies are), she would say..."why do you always feel you have to fix everything? Why can't you just be sympathetic?"

[Solid D]

....while secretly she's really saying to herself ("there's no way I'm letting him mess up this nail any worse than it already is")

[SpursWoman]

Eh, you're right....we just want to see your butt-cleavage.

[Hank Hill]

Eh, you're right....we just want to see your butt-cleavage.

That girl aint right

[Solid D]

[angel_luv]

....while secretly she's really saying to herself ("there's no way I'm letting him mess up this nail any worse than it already is")

@ all your insightful observations! = )