Dear Cleveland, All of Northeast Ohio and Cleveland Cavaliers Supporters Wherever You May Be Tonight:

I can’t believe that disloyal asshole did this to US again!

I had a secret dinner with him the other night at my home. I waited on him, catering to his every need. I told him he was the GOAT, better than Jordan, Magic, and Bird. I had plans to rename Quicken Loans Arena to King James’ Court. I even let him sleep with my wife! And he promised me, PROMISED ME, he would sign with us again...