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It could also be cuz they feel sorry for u, tbh.
Pretty much every time I go into a convenience store, whatever woman is at the counter calls me, "Hon" or "Honey". I mean...I get it...I'm a handsome dude. But come on.
It could also be cuz they feel sorry for u, tbh.
Ya learn to live with it, you'll adjust.
One of my fav...
I'm sitting on a bar stool in Armona at of all places.....The Armona Club. There I sit nursing a gin tonic when I feel a tap on my shoulder, so I turn around and there stands this cute little blonde.
cutie..hi.
Avante...hey.
cutie...ah...my girlfriends are wanting to head back to Hanford, if I stay could you give me a ride home? I love the way you dance. (I hadn't danced with her)
Avante....sure, can I buy ya a drink?
cutie...let me tell my friends to go, ok?
Avante...cool.
I spent three days with her, she was amazing, but, a screamer. By the time I left her I was convinced my name was....OH GOD!!!!!!!!
My back was a mess.
I guess that's better than your other name "Please Stop, I'm Just a Child".
I was at the Armona Club once and the bartender there swears he has this Wildebeast out back that can talk. He took me out back and there was this albino Wildebeast. The bartender gives this thing, it looked almost blonde, a drink straight from a bottle of gin and told me to wait about 5 minutes. So we stood there together looking at this frkn animal straight out of a horror show from Africa when the bartender carefully moves close to the animal and pats it on the back. The damn thing started to salivate, charged the bartender, and the damn thing was screaming something that sounded like "eh gads" or something.
Next thing I know the damn albino beast is on top of the bartender trying to hump him. I got the out of there. Never seen anything like it. I hope the guy is OK, but I imagine his back and butt must have experienced some trauma. If you guys ever hear anything about this I would like to know if the bartender is OK. I think he was drinking his own inventory so it's not all together surprising if he got hurt.
I forgot.
As I ran out from the back and into the bar, the bartender was yelling something to the effect of, "get the off me Nancy, I'm 260 pounds of twisted railroad steel." This last bit of information might clear the whole thing up for me if any of you know about this place.
Have you been charged for your crime yet?
Really haven't figured out the US military and foreign bars thing yet, have you?
Really have no idea how that went over there do you?
Once again back at The Aroma Club...
So there we sat, me and two black buddies of mine drinking beer and checking out the nights prospects when all of a sudden these two girls come running up to me.
There was going to be a dance contest later that night and both wanted me as their partner, I didn't know either of them. So as it got hot and things were looking bad...
Avante...let's flip a coin.
I ended up with the less atttractive of the two but it didn't matter we won it anyway and she was the better dance. This was the song (jukebox) we won the 50 bucks with. Yep, being a gentlemen she got it all, she did show her appreciation later that night.
Last edited by Avante; 04-13-2016 at 04:46 PM.
I ran the west coast for 10 years before I met Judy, I got some stories.
Damn it man. You have been there also.
Watch out for that bartender and that bizarre animal.
Hmmmm?
Back in my insurance salesmen days, I'm standing in a doorway giving my little bit when I feel something on my leg, I look down and there's this pet raccoon crawling up my pant leg...ha! So I...
And, if bitten by a raccoon you're covered. That got a big grin and a..."ok ok, come back at 7"...I sold them over 1000 dollars of insurance.
I do get a little bugged when people try to hit me up on workout routines, how to build the traps, biceps, delts etc, and if I stand in any line for very long there is always some guy..."hey man, so ya lift, huh....? "...and there it starts.
Last edited by Avante; 04-13-2016 at 05:23 PM.
Its clear why you went directly to the Navy.
They get a lot of good folks as do the rest of the armed forces.
But on occasion, line drives just buzz right by. Unnoticed like a stealth bomber.
Dude, relax, ok? You are so wrapped up in this..."I smart"...it's comical. Do something else, can you? You can't talk about most my interests, right?
Im not smart IMO.
But I do have a nervous system.
So theres that.
Do you ever answer a question?
So...I'll set the scene
Old Duke's Stop and Shop
Bout midnight. I'm in to buy a last minute Mickeys 40 and a licorice whip.
Sue's manning the counter...always is this time of night. Woman never gets a day off. She's like a skinny version of Heather Graham plus some years and minus some teeth. I put my goods on the counter.
Will that be all Hon. (Giving me the eye)
(Mentally rolling my eyes) yell. Just the usual.
We got condoms and Stag Juice for sale.
No thank Sue.
How's your pecker. I mean...how's your day going?
Fine. I lay a sawbuck in the counter...keep the change. (She needs it)
You want somethin else Honey.
I'm already out the door. See ya.
No.
Damn it.
Yes.
You appear in a constant state of hassle, do you ever just relax? Come on guy all this...I gotta be a punk...why? Chill, ok?
Its was the Bombardier Beetle I ate whilst riding my moped.
It must have contained alkaloids and some sort of exotic stimulant.
Avante, did you know the Bartender at the Armona Club? It's a strikingly familiar dude. Can't figure it out.
You really can't do it can you? Drop all that crap, ok? Be real, are you capable of just being you?
You mean the 260 lbs of twisted steel me?
Or the guy everyone notices at the gym me?
Or like the Bartender with cute blonde Wildebeast that yelled "Eh Ghad" for 3 days at the Armona Club?
So you mean this real? Like the above?
Why do you act like this?
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