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Kevin Garnett is not particularly charming. He's as cuddly as a cactus. Garnett is so intense it sometimes seems he has blood vessels the size of garden hoses. Before the seventh game of a 2004 playoff series against the Kings, Garnett noted that the game would be war, adding, "I'm sitting in the house loading up the pump; I'm loading up the Uzi; I've got a couple of M-16s." The assembled reporters nervously chuckled, mostly sure Garnett was kidding. Mostly.
Garnett is under no obligation to be a softie. His job is to play basketball, and no one on the planet is better at that than Garnett, a player envied by shooting guards (for his athleticism) and centers (for his height) alike. He has been in the prime of his career for the past three years, averaging 23.1 points (on better than 50 percent shooting), 13.6 rebounds and 5.6 assists during that span. The only thing that has kept him from widespread recognition is the Timberwolves' failure to put a championship-caliber team around him, thanks to some managerial fumbles (most notably the Joe Smith fiasco). Judging by the current shape of Minnesota's roster, Garnett's ringlessness is not about to change.
This week, after four years on the job, I am packing up my NBA media guides and changing my role. I'm not leaving the Sporting News, of course -- who else would have me? -- but I'll be handling different stories and no longer will be on the pro hoops beat. That's what has me thinking about Garnett.
Of all the things I wish I had seen in the four short years I handled this beat, No. 1 is Garnett winning an NBA championship. Oh, but I have a whole list of other things.
2. Jerry Sloan clones on every bench. It is one of the great mysteries of my profession that Sloan has managed to coach in Utah for 17 years without being voted Coach of the Year. He has a system and demands every player stay within it, contract size or draft position be darned (which, believe me, is not the word Sloan would use). Sloan has the luxury of job security, which enables him to coach his way, but it sure would be nice if every coach in the league took the same approach.
3. The Jerry Buss girlfriend calendar. At Staples Center, it's always fun to have a peek at whichever wonder of modern cosmetic surgery the good doctor is sitting with. Why not put them in calendar form?
4. Tim Duncan, ratings star. Ours is a country that extols the virtues of hard work and humility. But we don't like to watch those virtues on TV. Duncan is a magnificent player with three championships and career averages of 22.5 points and 12.2 rebounds. He is also, basically, a dork. Duncan once was so upset over a call by referee Bavetta that he bet Bavetta a hamburger he had blown the call. A hamburger! Because Duncan does not so much as jaywalk, fans don't tune in to watch him.
5. Larry Bird, a Celtic again. Danny Ainge is doing an excellent job running the Boston organization. He has added youth and created a style that defines the Celtics. But, deep down, every Celtics fan knows it should be Bird calling the shots.
6. Being Jeff Van Gundy. Why doesn't this guy have a reality show -- just about Van Gundy doing everyday things? Something would go annoyingly wrong at every turn, causing Van Gundy to furrow his brow in frustration, like Paul Giamatti in American Splendor. Think of the possibilities: Jeff Van Gundy watches game film, and the VCR starts eating the tape. Jeff Van Gundy is out mowing the lawn, and his shoelace gets stuck in the blade. Jeff Van Gundy goes for a haircut and must listen to the barber drop a string of jokes along the lines of, "Well, this shouldn't take very long!" Hilarious.
7. The Charles Oakley Celebrity Poker Bonanza. OK, another reality show. But the best part of an Oakley poker tournament would be watching Chuck collect his winnings from the losers after the tourney. Ask Tyrone Hill how that would feel.
8. The Bulls playing out the string. One of the great things about the NBA from 1980-98 was the cycle of dynasties -- the Celtics, then the Lakers, then the Pistons, then the Bulls. One of the pleasures was watching the new dynasty lose to the old a few times before finally toppling it and winning a championship. But we never got to see that with the Bulls, never got to see the transition from a Bulls dynasty to a Lakers dynasty. That was a blow to the league.
Sean Deveney is a staff writer for Sporting News. E-mail him at [email protected]
That is misleading.
Tim Duncan actually said "I'll bet you anything that wasnt the right call"
and the ref said "I dont bet money, I don't bet"
Duncan was like "well what will you bet"
and he was like "A hamburger"
then duncan was like "Okay I'll bet you a hamburger that wasnt the right call"
If thats all they can come up with to diss duncan then he's about to have a monster year...
This guy ...
.. calling someone a dork is classic!
I think "goober" might be more accurate.
Sean Deveney, the accidental journalist.
Can't you just picture Tim saying...
"I know you are but what am I?
or
standing at CiCi's Pizza counter and yelling "Hi, welcome to CiCi's!!!!!!!! heheheheh"
I don't think he meant it as an insult... He's saying he wishes Duncan captured the public's interest.
This guy ...
.. calling someone a dork is classic!
rofl he looks like useruser666
Sean Deveney, the accidental journalist.
preparing for the wrath of Spurswoman in 5....4....3....rofl he looks like useruser666
I don't think Deveney meant it as an insult. I think he was merely stating a wide public opinion. A lot of people think probably think Tim is not very "cool." The way he talks, laughs, claps his hands ... I mean, he is kind of a geek.
That takes nothing away from him as a basketball player. He is the best power forward to have played the game of basketball EVER. He is a perennial all-star, multiple MVP, and world champion.
Deveney's comment was more to the point that it's sad that not more people outside of San Antonio appreciate what Tim Duncan is doing in his career because he is a little bland. And, I agree. More people should try to watch Tim Duncan more and appreciate how great a basketball player he is.
I agree that's what he was doing.I don't think Deveney meant it as an insult. I think he was merely stating a wide public opinion. A lot of people think probably think Tim is not very "cool."
But Deveney has written so much crap about the Spurs in the last few years, (i.e. Accidental Champions) that people are quick to point out when he says something.
Like Huey Lewis said
"It's hip to be square"
I hope duncan starts wearing a mask or glasses and gets buck teeth so it'll look even funnier when he totally owns someone like Shaq or Ben Wallace
Hahaha! And after each play he'll say, " Did I do that?"
Far be it from to defend this piece of media dung but the tone of the article is stuff he'd like to see, as in Tim Duncan getting more attention for his game.
Again, who cares?
Three in seven, mofos!
That a-hole and the rest of the Sporting news can go to .
preparing for the wrath of Spurswoman in 5....4....3....
Actually....he kind of does, only a not-so-chubby head and blonde.....and waaaaay less dorky.
And they have something else in common, too.....they've both responded to me when I've *talked* to them.
Betting a hamburger and it being trashed by a FORMER-NBA journalist.
I'm sorry but I'm one of those people that think saying "I'll bet you a hamburger", is much more acceptable for the youth to model themselves after moreless here, rather than "What the F ref GDit", or "BULL OHHHHH", and numerous other things.
Anybody see where this is going?
YOMANK!!
Perhaps we aren't really defining "Dork" properly. Where's Mr. Dictionary when you need him?
haha good point
Well, I'm not Mr. Dictionary...but I should at least get a little credit for my grammar anal-retentiveness...
2 entries found for dork.
dork ( P ) Pronunciation Key (dôrk)
n.
1. Slang. A stupid, inept, or foolish person: “the stupid antics of America's favorite teen-age cartoon dorks” (Joshua Mooney).
2. Vulgar Slang. The penis.
Well, there you go, then. I'd say Sean Deveney is spot-on, as usual. I can see his point.
New VISA Commercial:
Being called a dork in a "Weekly Reader" 3.50
Betting a ref a Hamburger...(potentially) 7.00
Wearing three rings and holding up the Finals MVP trophies...PRICELESS
Actually....he kind of does, only a not-so-chubby head and blonde.....and waaaaay less dorky.
when i first saw the picture in my off-centered vision i thought kori was scoffing user
i was like wha-whaaaat
Heck, how many dorks you know got 3 rings and 3 MVPs? TD looks cool with those rings!
I think he was going for more of the "nerd" connotation of dork.
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