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holy , the bagged everyone.
http://www. slike.us/camp2005-southwest.html
San Antonio Spurs
Kyle Bailey G 6’2 200 - I have never met a person named Kyle who wasn’t a sissy and I’m sure this guy won’t sway me
Brent Barry G 6’7 210 - Brent Barry, free agent acquisition of the offseason? Oh jeez, that didn’t go so well, did it? Well, ok… Michael Finley, free agent acquisition of the offeason!!!
Bruce Bowen F 6’7 200 - Still living off of a reputation that Pat Riley built for him. What kills me is that he was a bench warmer with Riley’s old terrible Heat teams but he’s starting with the Spurs and nobody is even questioning the fact that he’s just not very good at all.
Tim Duncan F/C 6’11 260 - I always wondered why Tim Duncan was able to play for the USA Olympic team since he’s from the Virgin Islands but then I realized that I really shouldn’t give a . That’s how I wish fantasy sports players would think.
Michael Finley G/F 6’7 225 - Coach: Ok, Mike, I’m putting you in to play some tough defense. Finley: Ok, coach! Later… Coach: Why did you pretend that you were hurt every time you were on defense and then kept shooting fadeaway jumpers on offense? Finley: I don’t know coach, I got scared
Sharrod Ford F 6’9 230 - Why are you even trying?
Manu Ginobili G 6’6 205 - Still blows defensive assignments, runs into people recklessly but gets fouls called in his favor, throws wild shots up at the rim on drives in which he’s about to kick the ball out of bounds by himself, but he’s still regarded as an up-and-comer even though he’s closing in on 30. Wow.
Stephen Graham G 6’6 215 - My name is Stephen Graham and I’m just calling RC Buford again about that tryout? Yes, I’ll hold.
Robert Horry F 6’10 240 - Showing up for one playoff game is apparently more than enough of an excuse to sleepwalk through multiple regular seasons
Sean Marks F/C 7’0 245 - I haven’t seen a picture of him in years but all I remember him looking like is that white Michael Jackson character from that one Simpsons episode
Nazr Mohammed C 6’10 252 - This guy spent half of his Kentucky career on the Wildcats’ JV squad and now he’s your starting center. Oh well, at least your starting center isn’t….
Rasho Nesterovic C 7’0 270 - Not only did Nazr steal your job but you barely left the bench at all in the playoffs. You are proof that the Spurs’ front office is still human. You stink
Fabricio Oberto F 6’9 251 - Why does this idiot get mentioned with the rest of the Spurs’ offseason pick-ups?
Tony Parker G 6’2 180 - Do you think he blows playoff games so he can get home and Eva Longoria? That’s about the only credible theory I can come up with at this point.
Melvin Sanders G/F 6’5 210 - Melvin’s Big Day Out: The Story of a First-Day Training Cut Casualty
Beno Udrih G 6’3 205 - How bad was Tony Parker that Greg Popovich actually let this guy play crunch time minutes over Parker?
Nick Van Exel G 6’1 190 - Nick the Quick went to Nick the Gimp in a hurry, didn’t he? It’s a good thing you don’t need functioning knees in order to shoot a ton of 3’s
Jawad Williams F 6’9 220 - I could probably do an entire article on the name Jawad. Is that how you say the name Jared if you have a in your mouth? How does he feel to go undrafted when the guy you were ahead of and starting over in college ended up being drafted #2 overall? Probably bad enough to make you wanna put that back in your mouth
Houston Rockets
Rafer Alston G 6’2 170 - Take a stickler for a head coach and combine him with a moody former streetballer and what do you get? Another early playoff exit!
Derek Anderson G 6’5 195 - According to clutchfans.net, he is a great outside shooter who can play some point guard and can do a little bit of everything. According to Emilio Escobar, he has more scars on his knees than Juwan Howard does on his penis
Jon Barry G 6’5 210 - Another year of having that face that every NBA fan just wants to punch
Lonny Baxter F 6’8 260 - You laugh but he would have started for Houston last year. , he still might
Ryan Bowen F 6’9 220 - America’s favorite hustle specialist. How many groupies do you figure Bowen picks up?
Tracy McGrady G/F 6’8 210 - Nothing is impossible! Apparently, getting out of the first round of the playoffs qualifies as such a distinction
Yao Ming C 7’6 310 - But the stats say that when Yao gets 6 touches on every possession, the Rockets are undefeated. Sounds good to me
Stromile Swift F/C 6’9 225 - Watch me run, watch me dunk, watch me foul out, all while never changing my facial expressions. Can I cash my check now?
Dallas Mavericks
DeSagana Diop F/C 7’0 280 - Insurance just in case Dampier doesn’t underachieve enough
D.J. Mbenga C 7’0 245 - What happened to that african name he had? Moolie Boolie BobbyJo Mbenga doesn’t come out to D.J., does it? His name might as well be NBDL Mbenga
Dirk Nowitzki F 7’0 245 - Every year we hear about how he’s focused on his defense and then we see him get lit up every night in the playoffs. Maybe he should worry about rebounding more and playing with his back to the basket since he’s ing 7 feet tall, huh? Nah, he’s just Dirk!
Pavel Podkolzin C 7’5 260 - With Bradley gone, the Mavericks HAVE to play him, right? Chad Ford eagerly awaits
Jerry Stackhouse G/F 6’6 218 - I guess he didn’t turn into Michael Jordan, huh? I guess you could compare him to the 40-year-old version. Maybe.
Keith Van Horn F 6’10 240 - Certainties in life: Death, taxes, Van Horn getting traded
holy , the bagged everyone.
Guy is a NBA comic insult dog.
If you are going to bag every player, at least make it funny.
This was not.
i laughed a bit.
mostly just stupid.
. . . scratch the 'mostly'
That was frickin hilarious!!!
Damn.
Derek Anderson G 6’5 195 - According to clutchfans.net, he is a great outside shooter who can play some point guard and can do a little bit of everything. According to Emilio Escobar, he has more scars on his knees than Juwan Howard does on his penis
"Artest Alert 2005 = Orange. You have a moderate chance of being assaulted!"
Last edited by slayermin; 11-07-2005 at 12:15 PM.
He didn't have much bad to say about Duncan, did he?
what an unfortunate le for a post/website.
I found talent! By: Chad Ford
Hey folks, ESPN Insider writer here and superstar in the flesh, Chad Ford. I travel up and down the globe following various basketball experts and incessantly bug them about what they might do with that 12th man on the end of the bench that was drafted 3 years ago from Lithuania but hasn’t played yet. I have contributed to the European invasion of mediocre basketball talent for as long as I can remember and I don’t play on stopping!I have another source, who keeps his ear very low to the ground, telling me that the overnight sensation from Libya, Karusalav Hornochevski, is thinking about entering the 2005 NBA Draft. If this is true, the NBA may have a new LeBron James. The skillset of this big man are not comparable to anyone in the league. With the New Orleans Hornets searching for a big man to replace Jamaal Magloire after I keep writing about how he needs to be traded, will the Big Easy be the place for Hornochevski? I caught up with the big man as he was just waking up from his home: a small tent in the middle of the Polish woods.Day 2: I awoke at 8am only to notice a gang of wolves surrounding me. What should I do? Should I call for help? Should I remind the wolves that I am a superstar journalist? No, that’s just ridiculous! I reached into my pocket and pulled out the candy bar that had been given to me just one day earlier by basketball’s newest superstar and threw it as far as I could throw. The wolves chased after it and I was safe again. I masturbated for 15 minutes.In other news: Avery Johnson is rumored to be taking over the Dallas Mavericks’ head coaching position next season. While Avery has absolutely no coaching experience aside from these 10 measly games he has coached, Johnson is the perfect candidate for the job. Del Harris may be a very competent coach and much more deserving of a head coaching position than the little black walnut-looking Johnson, it just isn’t as heart-warming!
NBA 2K7: A Preview
Get Your Coach Fired™ Mode
As you and your teammates continue to underachieve throughout the season, whether it be because of personal or real reasons, you can actually get your coach fired! Was your team just in the Eastern Conference Finals the year before and now you’re going through a franchise-killing 3-game losing streak? Get that stupid coach fired! You can even appoint the Team President as your new coach even though he walked out on the team 3 years ago just before training camp and completely ed the entire franchise over. That’s all water underneath the bridge! Coming up with lame excuses for firing the coach, such as saying the coach needs to spend more time with his family, may be implemented in next year’s version. Time can only tell.
More proof that there are too many idiots out there with their own websites.
WTF, that guy must have tried that or something....
Classic LOL!!!!
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