What are some of the more common marketing buzzwords on job applications that are scoff-worthy? I'm talking letting out a peak-2006 era mookie2001 CFB forum scooooffffffffffff
FYI this thread is just for humour, this is not a Jacob1983 viability-of-suicide type thread. I've been happy in my career for several years, but did get suckered into a sweatshop environment once when I was younger by falling for these catchphrases
1) "We're a family environment" - really means we expect you to show undying loyalty to the company and work 12 hour days just because Shaniqua, the front desk lady, brought in chocolate cake that one time. Also will probably guilt you over taking PTO or working from home on occasion
2) "Fast paced, exciting environment" - really means that the company is run by inept, emotional tamons (usually women) who can't plan for sh!t and want you to cover for their poor logistics by adjusting your schedule last minute
3) "Work hard, play hard" - we do a generic happy hour once in awhile to pretend like it balances out our sweatshop environment. Ironically, places I've worked that have this mantra usually end up with some of the least fun and lamest co-workers I've been around
4) "Expecting to hit the ground running with little to no training" - Obviously this applies to more entry level roles, but really means that we are inept, understaffed, and/or too lazy to invest time in training
5) "We're looking for a <insert name of field> rockstar!" - Anybody with an IQ over 90 should run at the first sight of seeing this on a job app. If not, you deserve every bit of abuse that comes your way