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Id have him sign over his rights.
A slimeball sounding guy like that doesnt deserve to be involved ina child's life like that.
Your a good guy Danyo.
Good luck, and Merry Christmas.
Hope you and the misses are having a good one tommarow.
Well not really, but my girl is having trouble.
Let me set the scene first: My girlfriend has a young child(7 months). The cute little guy isn't mine though. The father of the child was around for the birth and a few weeks after. He treated her like , took her for granted and assumed that she wait around for him.
Then I came along, got along well with "our" kid and we've been going strong for months now.Now that the father found out that she's been seeing me and she's totally happy, now he wants to be in the baby's life again, not to mention he's trying to win her back.
She had let the baby's daddy take the baby on a couple of days out of the week, but everytime he'd bring him back in the morning, the baby would smell like weed and was never changed(diaper or clothes)The Dad has been on probation for possesion and whatnot. The baby calls me Daddy and sees me 1000x more than his real Dad, I provide for him like I'm his biological father!
My girl is trying to figure out what to do:
1. Go after him for child support, but then he gets to see the baby. She wouldn't get alot of money from him on child support since he doesn't have a good job and he doesn't work enough hours. His mom even said if my girlfriend gets him for child support that he should just not work and she'll support him!
2. Get him to sign over his rights and never request child support. This is all depending on whether or not he'll sign them over. He might have signed the papers before he found out about me, but now I have no idea. I'd prefer this option, since we don't need his money. I make more than enough for all 3 of us, and I'd rather have him out of the picture anyway!
Any advice?
Id have him sign over his rights.
A slimeball sounding guy like that doesnt deserve to be involved ina child's life like that.
Your a good guy Danyo.
Good luck, and Merry Christmas.
Hope you and the misses are having a good one tommarow.
Actually, its up to him.
If he wants to see the child, he can. If he wants to give up the rights and she approves of it, then he can as well.
I know a few people that have skated around child support and crap for years and it doesn't pay off for anyone, mother or father.
All I know is an attorney, the attorney general's office and child protective services should be involved immediately for proper procedures for paperwork and an investigation to see if homeboy is fit to be around a child.
Your outside of the fence, you really can't do anything.... the fence is tall with lots of barbed wire at the top.
Thanks, my girl and I are liking that option too. Thanks for your time and opinion. You have a great Christmas also, New Years too!
Sequ is partly right in that the guy has to do this.
But from what it sounds, I like that option too.
Kick butt and keep the misses happy.
Hope you went to zales! haha
Yeah we know it's all up to him. I know for sure that he would've signed over his rights if it wasn't for me being around now. He would've done it just to save a few dollars, but now that he sees "his" son crying for me, now he wants to be around more to "catch up". We have an attorney ready to go, we're just wondering how we can basically "tattle tale" about his drug problem to the proper authorities. The Dad wants to take the baby for Christmas, which I first thought no! My reasons are: He knows about me now, so I know he won't bring him back and if he does take off with "my boy", he live out of Bexar County, so we'll have an even harder time finding him.
I'm more of a Heidelberg Jewelers kinda guy!
OOOO good choice.
What did you get her,
tennis B, earrings, ring, or other.
Dude should be paying child support already and a meeting should've already occurred to go over custody issues.
That child belongs to his real father and mother. Weed or no weed.
If you want to prove something, the next time you pick up the kid and he smells like weed or something to that effect... call 911.
Get the ball rolling, supervised visits, psychological assessment, CPS workup, the whole nine yards.
Tattle telling doesn't work....
You have to have a legal paper trail.....
According to Texas, that kid will always be his and hers..... never yours....
Call Tuesday and get the ball rolling.
Well not really, but my girl is having trouble.
Let me set the scene first: My girlfriend has a young child(7 months). The cute little guy isn't mine though. The father of the child was around for the birth and a few weeks after. He treated her like , took her for granted and assumed that she wait around for him.
Then I came along, got along well with "our" kid and we've been going strong for months now.
She had let the baby's daddy take the baby on a couple of days out of the week, but everytime he'd bring him back in the morning, the baby would smell like weed and was never changed(diaper or clothes)
My girl is trying to figure out what to do:
1. Go after him for child support, but then he gets to see the baby. She wouldn't get alot of money from him on child support since he doesn't have a good job and he doesn't work enough hours. His mom even said if my girlfriend gets him for child support that he should just not work and she'll support him!
2. Get him to sign over his rights and never request child support. This is all depending on whether or not he'll sign them over. He might have signed the papers before he found out about me, but now I have no idea. I'd prefer this option, since we don't need his money. I make more than enough for all 3 of us, and I'd rather have him out of the picture anyway!
Any advice?
your girlfriend must make the decision. you are an awesome person for coming into her life and being the man she and her baby needs, but it has to be her choice. tell her you'll be there for her no matter what she decides. you can guide her by saying that you think she should do what she thinks is best for HER child. the father obviously has some issues he has to deal with, but your girl needs to ask herself, IF her ex was a good man, would she be with him?
i hate to say this to you brother, but it may be time to step back a bit and tell her that she needs to decide what she wants and you'll accept her decision because you care for her so much. Goodluck and Godbless you on what is a very sticky situation.
as wonderful as it would seem for an apparent good for nothing father to sign over his rights, he won't, if he thinks that's what you guys want. you know that. and it's in the best interests of the child to know his/her father, maybe not now...but for sure in the future. all i can do is pray for you and your girl and her child. again...goodluck. very tough...but SHE must make the choice. she's the mama.
If the guy is returning the baby to you/her unchanged and smelling like weed, then in my book, he doesn't want rights to the kid and is already neglecting him.
Get him to sign over the rights. At this point, you are the baby's Daddy. That guy is nothing but a sperm donor.
i dunno know dood but i have a lot of friends in this situation...........what the others said makes a lot of sense. i have a "hit" service called La Onda...perhaps i can help you.......
seriously.......you might have to just go through the motions on this one cas you are not the father. If he is bringing the baby back consistently smelling like weed...poo...etc...then i have a small idea. Once in the process have the meeting place be a police substation...it is very standard. make notes of what is going on and if the child is returned in a way that the mom feels is inappropriate immediatley make a report in the substation. I know it may sound small but it may make a difference. In texas, sorry to say, then dad has a lot of rights and you might be screwed unless and until this dumbass screws up......in the end...there is always La Onda....El MeroMero offers you his protection..:P Merry christmas
I thought this thread was going to be about a yeast infection.
Sorry. Okay, since noone else has mentioned it from the kid's point of view, let me tell you how pissed off this little kid is going to be at his mother and you in about 15 years when he figures out it was your idea to never let him see his father again. It doesn't matter if the guy is a pothead and slightly negligent. He has a right to see his son; his son has a right to know who his father is. If he's a complete s bag, the kid can figure that out for himself. But if you remove the opportunity for him to know his father you are asking for big trouble later. It's not ethical. Give the slimeball a chance to be a father. If he stops seeing his kid, that's on him, and his kid can be pissed off at him later.
If you're really concerned that the baby is not being properly watched while he's in the father's care, you can have a judge grant him only supervised visits (not necessarily your house, but the slimeball's mother's house, for example).
There has been some good advice and some bad advice. First, do not call 911 when the baby is returned in such a state unless it is truly an emergency. Second, do familiarize yourself with child protective services. Do ent every negative impact the biological father has on the child, every time, very specifically. Date, time, period father had baby, problem(s) with the child, time called CPS, action they told you to take. Write this all down every single time. Also, take photos if applicable. Getting other people to affix their signatures as witnesses corresponding to the do entation is also good. Another good idea would be to not let the father know you are doing this. Then, you will have more going forward than you and the mother's claims that a guy you obviously have a reason not to like is neglecting the child.
If what you have said is indeed true, and the court finds as such, you'll be able to benefit from both of your either/or scenarios.
ACP???
It takes a big man to raise another man's child!! My praise to you Danyo!! Hope everything works out!
I would not recommend calling 911 for a "weed smell". But calling the police non emergency desk would be better. Or child protective services directly.
Couple of points:
1. He has to agree to terminate his rights (at least under the cir stances you put out). It takes ALOT to get an involuntary termination.
2. Most judges wont sign off on an AGREED termination unless it involves an adoption. They view it from the kids best interest. Most feel that its in the childs best interest to have a mom and dad (even if the dads a s ball). Unless he agrees to terminate and you adopt, the judge probably wont sign off on it.
3. If she hasnt gone to court to establish custody rights, he can legally take the baby and not have to return him to your gf. If there isnt a court order custody, custody goes to the person who has physical possession of the child. So he can take the child, refuse to return the baby and even the cops cant force him to give the baby back.
4. He cant just quit his job to not pay child support. The court will make him pay based on minimum wage or if he feels he isnt working or is working a low paying job on purpose the court can make him pay what he has been making in the past.
Let me set this straight: I'm not trying to take the baby completely away from his Dad, I have nothing against him, other than the fact that he's being completely stupid about how he cares for his son. He's young, but thats no excuse for being an idiot. The only reason he's been wanting to spend time with his son now is because I'm in the picture. I've met the guy and was completely a man about it, I didn't "mad dog" him, nothing like that. If he were just a better father, then I'd feel more comfortable letting his son go with him for a day or so.
But as far as how things are now, whenever the little guy is with his Dad, I can't enjoy my day, not knowing if he's alright. Both my girls family and my family have quite a few offers of "taking care of the problem", but I don't want it to come to that. As far as the baby growing up to hate me because I kept him from his real Dad, i don't think so.
He literally screams constantly when his Dad is carrying him, and leans to me to get him, which isn't my fault, because his Dad made the choice to not be around. I can provide for my gf and son to not need him around. He's a 3rd strike from getting locked up for 3-5 years, so who knows how hard it'll be for me to officially become this babys legal Dad.
Can u support me too
dude...are you ready to be a dad? or are you just leasing the pussy?
if your ready? then do what you gotta do.
if not...then step off and let this family deal with their own ...
I'm more than ready to be a Dad, I've been doing the partying scene since very young, it's getting pretty old. And its not like after I become this boys father, I'm gonna grow old and not ever have a good time.dude...are you ready to be a dad? or are you just leasing the pussy?
if your ready? then do what you gotta do.
if not...then step off and let this family deal with their own ...
FYI: I totally forgot to mention that this guy used to beat up my girl. And I do not want him to start that with the boy. It's easy to get frustrated with an infant, especially when they can scream like ! I'm a very patient person, especially with children, because you can't blame them when they're sick or teething, its not like they can tell you whats wrong. I just don't want the boy to be another statistic of child abuse and it's us thats gonna appear on the 9 o'clock news saying "we never knew".
Triumph is right, whats gonna happen next week when your tired of ole girl? The baby's daddy will have been cut off and you'll be gone too. Then the cycle of boyfriends will begin. Most women who are used to abuse will seek out those relationships and the child will be the innocent victim.dude...are you ready to be a dad? or are you just leasing the pussy?
if your ready? then do what you gotta do.
if not...then step off and let this family deal with their own ...
If your serious about this girl and her child then ask her to marry you and adopt that child. If you do that you will make a world of a diffrence in the childs life for the best. If not let her make her own decisions.
I was wondering if I was going to get to the end of the thread befor anyone brought up the child.
ing holidays always brings out the biznitch in every woman
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