Bulls, Pacers still in hunt for Peja

[ducks]

tober 3, 2004 -- REVIVING myself from my annual self-induced summer stupor has never been more challenging. The thought of trying to disentangle the 2004-05 NBA bramble, as well as comprehend the commands of a new computer and a cell phone (without resorting to reading glasses and relying on my wife) is numbing.

Furthermore, I still haven't gotten over our latest Euro-trashing.

With the help of Larry Brown, Stu Jackson and Michael Jordan, here are the Top 10 things those responsible for assembling our USA team might have done differently considering its bleak performance in the recent J.R. Ryder Cup golf tournament:

1. Stayed in the Oakland Hills village.

2. Showed up with better "outside" putting.

3. Should've made room for Jayson Williams; who's better at taking out a driver than him?

4. Picked highly motivated college golfers vs. jaded professionals.

5. Secured a spot on the squad for Charles Barkley so he could become the first player not to win a le and a leist.

6. Insisted on compulsory tee-to-greens suicide sprints led by John Daly.

7. Demanded Tiger and teammates be more aggressive in hopes of breaking their opponents' concentration and force them out of their zone.

8. Should've found sufficient practice time to chip balls with O.J.

9. Blamed David Stern for failing to entice Bruce Ratner to purchase the Euros so he could dismember them prior to the compe ion.

10. Better yet, blamed everything on ESPN for only showing highlights of athletic eagle putts but never the par-saving up and downs.

*

In their first unofficial court meeting last week as Nuggets teammates, the team's reigning macho forward and the All-Star prototype imported from New Jersey for $90 million exchanged hostilities in an ugly confrontation.

An extra on the scene informs me Nene and Kenyon Martin, on opposite sides, had been battling for turf and respect for some time - neither is a center, thus the starting four spot is up for grabs. Meaning, they weren't about to keep their hands to themselves. The usual infuriating pushin' and shovin' ensued each time either one tried to establish inside position. Suddenly Martin reverted to brutal form of a few years ago. He spun around on Nene, recounted the eyewitness, and punched the 6-11, 260-pound Brazilian, hitting him square above one eye, opening up a gash that necessitated s ches. Teammates prevented further bloodshed. Temporarily. Nene is far too bad to the bone to let Martin get away with a sucker punch.

*

According to reports, Kobe Bryant didn't exactly take his first pinch like a man, it seems. Though you must admit it was remarkably unselfish of him to voluntarily share the spotlight with Shaq when questioned by Colorado constables - ratting out O'Neal for allegedly paying hush money to some woman may have ruined their relationship. What's the big deal regarding Shaq, anyway? Like hearing his name in such a story is startling. Had Kobe told us A.C. Green used to pay off women to keep them quiet, now that definitely would've tickled my attention deficit disorder.

Jayson Williams, sleek and (dead) serious, is planning a comeback in November when his Nets contract expires. Naturally there has already been contact with the Jail Blazers. The E-limo-nator hopes New Jersey prosecutors will drop outstanding charges against him if he admits having an affair with Jim McGreevey.

At least one Peja Stojakovic confidant believes the Bulls or Pacers still have a decent chance to pry him away from the Kings. Miami, where Peja has a home, is his preference, but the Heat neither has the available assets nor comparable salaries to make it happen. "Don't count on Peja going anywhere," underlined a Sacramento hall monitor. "Management is much more intent on trading Chris Webber but can't seem to drum up any interest." C-Webb's ongoing knee problem and prohibitive contract might have something to do with it.

Before Rodney White, the last significant free agent still unemployed, spent Labor Day weekend (five days total) in D.C.'s infamous Heartbreak Hotel for carrying his licensed Colorado handgun in a car (strictly illegal in Washington) while driving around with friends, he was being romanced by the Nuggets (offering $2.4 million), the Knicks ($1 million) and the Celtics ($1 million). The case probably will be bargained down to a misdemeanor tomorrow, with no jail time or community service. When that happens, Denver is expected to re-sign its compulsive scorer ... for decidedly less than originally offered.

I say, fine, if Vince Carter doesn't want to play in Toronto this season. By all means, let him sign with the Maple Leafs.

[ducks]

An extra on the scene informs me Nene and Kenyon Martin, on opposite sides, had been battling for turf and respect for some time - neither is a center, thus the starting four spot is up for grabs. Meaning, they weren't about to keep their hands to themselves. The usual infuriating pushin' and shovin' ensued each time either one tried to establish inside position. Suddenly Martin reverted to brutal form of a few years ago. He spun around on Nene, recounted the eyewitness, and punched the 6-11, 260-pound Brazilian, hitting him square above one eye, opening up a gash that necessitated s ches. Teammates prevented further bloodshed. Temporarily. Nene is far too bad to the bone to let Martin get away with a sucker punch.[B]