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Mexicans need mother in snakes
1. 7:45am is way too early for any Mexican to be up.
2. We are always late, we would miss all the flights.
3. Pretty people on the plane distract us.
4. We would talk loudly and bring attention to ourselves.
5. With free food and drinks on the plane, a chicano would forget why
he's there.
6. We talk with our hands, therefore we would have to put our weapons
down.
7. We would ALL want to fly the plane.
8. We would argue and start a fight or "pleito" in the plane.
9. We can't keep a secret, we would have told everyone a week before
hijacking a plane.
Are You Latino? How Can You Tell For Sure?
1) If you have ever been hit by a "Chancla"
2) If you grew up scared by something called "El Cucuy" o "La Llorona"
3) If others tell you to stop screaming when you are really just
Talking.
4) If you light a candle to "La Guadalupana" on the night before your
big test or before the Lottery numbers are announced.
5) If you use your chin to point something out.
6) If you constantly refer to cereal as "confleys".
7) If your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you for
dinner, even if it's a one bedroom apartment.
8) If you can dance merengue, bia, or salsa without music.
9) If you use "manteca" instead of olive oil and can't figure
out why your ass is getting bigger.
10) If you have at least thirty cousins, not including loco Julio
working at el "MacDonalds".
11) If you are in a five passenger car with seven people in it and
Someone inside the car is shouting "subanse, todavia caben!"
12) If whenever you feel under the weather, you compulsively dab
on some "vapor rub" or "Bicks" all over your chest and inside your
nostrils.
13) Your mom packs your "lonchera" every day even though you've
just turned thirty-two and she still calls you "mijito".
14) If you call the North Americans "gringos", including
Canadians, and call all Asian people "chinos" or "chinitos". AND
you call the corner store "la tienda del chino." If you say "vamos a
comer a la china"
when you want to eat chinese food.
15) If your favorite heroes were "El Chapulin
Colorado" or "Cantinflas".
Mexicans need mother in snakes
Those are the only ones that apply to me.
That only applies to South Texas Mexicans. Elsewhere they wouldn't be able to hijack the plane because they'd become too distracted cleaning it up and performing preventive maintenance on the mechanicals.
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