Why Linux Viruses are fairly uncommon

[baseline bum]

evilmalware 0.6 (beta)

Copyright 2000, 2001, 2003, 2005
E\/17 |-|4><0|2z Software Foundation, Inc.

This is free software; see the source for copying conditions. There is
NO warranty; not even for MERCHANTABILITY, COMPLETE DESTRUCTION OF IMPORTANT
DATA or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE (eg. sending thousands of Viagra
spams to people accross the world).

Basic Installation
==================

Before attempting to compile this virus make sure you have the correct
version of glibc installed, and that your firewall rules are set to `allow
everything'.

1. Put the attachment into the appropriate directory eg. /usr/src

2. Type `tar xvzf evilmalware.tar.gz' to extract the source files for
this virus.

3. `cd' to the directory containing the virus's source code and type
`./configure' to configure the virus for your system. If you're
using `csh' on an old version of System V, you might need to type
`sh ./configure' instead to prevent `csh' from trying to execute
`configure' itself.

4. Type `make' to compile the package. You may need to be logged in as
root to do this.

5. Optionally, type `make check_payable' to run any self-tests that come
with the virus, and send a large donation to an unnumbered Swiss bank
account.

6. Type `make install' to install the virus and any spyware, trojans
pornography, penis enlargement adverts and DDoS attacks that
come with it.

7. You may now configure your preferred malware behaviour in
/etc/evilmalware.conf .

SEE ALSO
evilmalware(1), evilmalware.conf(5), please_delete_all_my_files(1)

http://www.gnu.org/fun/jokes/evilmalware.html

[MannyIsGod]

Like 4 people are going to get this.

[ShoogarBear]

Man pages. Those were the days.

[baseline bum]

You Might Be A Programmer If:

1. You immediately complain that this should be subscripted as zero.

2. Most people say "Go To ," but you tell people to redirect to
/dev/null.

3. By the time you've gotten here in the do ent, you've run Tidy
or a similar app to check my X/HTML skills.

4. The statement (0x2b||!0x2b) makes sense to you.

5. You find 4 funny.

6. You note with disgust that it always evaluates to true, since
0x2b != 0.

7. Point 6 disgusts you, because under other languages than C++
(Java, per se), it would throw an exception, runtime error, etc.

8. Both points 6 and 7 disgust you, because (0x2b||!0x2b) isn't
a statement.

9. You wonder why there's so much religious debate. After all,
can't they just type man life?

[zero signal]

2. Type `tar xvzf evilmalware.tar.gz' to extract the source files for this virus.

Tarballs? Psssh. I get all my viruses with synaptic.

[velik_m]

[Phenomanul]