Truer words never spoken

[Blind Witness]

It's a cool LA morning today as I wake up and the sun sporadically peeks out from behind a thin curtain of clouds. I hear from the tube that it's supposed to rain at some point. Thanksgiving is just around the corner and all things combined... I'm in a reflective mood.

I think back to the recent conversations with various members of the absolute cream of NBA analysts and watchers about our beloved Spurs. The things each one had to say have left an unmistakable mark on my consciousness.

Without further ado: Let the truthing begin!

I'll start with a recent acquaintance of mine: Phillip Jackson, who I periodically run into from time to time when I get the itcherin' to wrestle wild moose with my bare hands in the beautiful and tranquil, yes I said tranquil, how many times will you see that word on a B-ball message board huh? uh...ahem...excuse me.
Beautiful and tranquil forests of Montana. He's usually sitting by the lake naked in the Lotus position channeling Depak Chopra or someone special like that.
This time bumping into him I had to ask, "So P-Jack, what was up with that whole asterick thing with San Antonio?". He responded "Every championship won after Michael Jordan's retirement carries an asterick."
His reply truly creeped me out. Not for what he said, but the fact that his eyes were rolled into the back of his head and his voice sounded like the little boy from the sixth sense that "saw dead people".
"Oh wise and great one," I began again "what do you think, in all your infinite wisdom of the Spurs this year?"
His eyes fluttered a bit and a small tremor overcame him... I swear he was floating at least an inch off the ground.
"They have a synergy but the ying to their yang is unbalanced... choose wisely, young one for the fire is never comfortable to the frog. Always heed the Great Magnet, and Kobe is an ass."

Truer words have never been spoken.


The next guy that left me to ponder, but in a different way was Steven A. Smith. A genius no doubt, just ask him!
Upon seeing this snappy dressed gentleman, I took the opportunity to hear for myself what he truly thinks about the Spurs when the cameras are not on.
"So Stevie my man," I began "how are you doing?"
"Oh not too bad, friend, all things considered, and how about yourself?"
"Quite nice, quite nice. I was hoping you could answer a quick question for me about the NBA."
"WHAT?! WHAT?!...THE NBA? WHAT IS IT?!!?"
"Whoa! Why are you yelling all of a sudden?"
"BECAUSE, LIKE MOST OTHER PEOPLE, WHEN I HAVE TO START MAKING POINTS ABOUT THINGS I DON'T KNOW ABOUT, I SHOUT TO SOUND MORE EFFECTIVE!!!!"
"Kind of like hammering that square peg into that round hole with a sledge hammer right?"
"YEAH!!!!"

Truer words never spoken

"So what do you think the Spurs chances are Stevie my man?"
"THEY ARE ONE OF THE TOP TEAMS IN THE WEST WITH ONE OF THE GAMES GREATEST SUPERSTARS!! BUT DAVID ROBINSON IS TOO SOFT AND IN THE WORDS OF MY EXCLUSIVE INSIDE SOURCE DAMON STOUDAMIRE, "AS LONG AS AJ IS THEIR POINT GUARD, THEY'LL NEVER WIN A CHAMPIONSHIP!"

wow

As you can see, that was a life changing experience... for the worse.

I don't live too far from the Staples Center, so I wasn't too suprised while driving by I noticed a multi-colored tent with smoke coming out in front of one of the entrances.
This had to be, of course, Billy Walton. I cruised into the parking lot and stopped just close enough to hear Jerry Garcia's voice floating in the air, emanating from the tent.
I entered without fear, I mean what would I have to fear from a hippie sucking on his hookah listening to the 'Dead? Bin Laden could've waltzed in right then and been welcomed to some Pop Tarts or something.
I had to get my answers before the contact high set in and the partying commenced. "Bill! How do you feel about the Spurs this season?"
He leaned back for a moment considering the question at hand.
"They're a throwback team reminiscing the days when this was a team game. The passing between the players harkens the Harlem Globetrotters when they used to play the Washington Secretaries. You're too young to remember the Globetrotters, but their passing was effortless and profusely, uh, profuse."
"I do remember the Globetrotters, sir, and the it's the Washington Generals."
He gave one slow blink before replying, "I said Generals, I know that, I wish we were on tape so that we could rewind this and you would see that I said Generals." He suddenly raised one arm up as if he just beat me in a game of wills and blurted out, "Throw it down big man, throw it down!"
"Uhhhh...Bill? The Spurs?"
"Oh. Yeah. Gregg Popovich is a genius. The players he brought in, the style of play he coaches. How could they not win a championship? I mean, since it looks like the Lakers are not going to be in the hunt, I have to choose someone else. You gotta love the eloquence of Tim Duncan's game. What skill, what hands, what demeanor...th-THROW IT DOWN BIG MA-... sorry, I couldn't help myself. But Gregg Popovich is a genius, did I already say that? He is the epitome of the eminance of elocution. I asked him once how he comes up with his basketball strategies and he told me, "It doesn't take a genius, you put the ball in the basket." Now THAT is pure genius. Now I'm going to eat these scrumptious Pop Tarts and take a nap."

And now that I've done my reflecting, after all my experiences. I must ask myself, did any of this really happen? Was this all a dream?
Doesn't Kobe know by now that if he's really Jonesing for some pooty-tang, that sheep never file law-suits?
I think I'm going to eat some Pop Tarts and take myself a nap now. But before then I would be remiss without saying...



Truer words by all have never been spoken

[SpursWoman]

but the fact that his eyes were rolled into the back of his head and his voice sounded like the little boy from the sixth sense that "saw dead people".

[Useruser666]

Since Wilt, Kareem, and Ruseel won championships, Jordan's les should have *s. Did the wizards make the playoffs?

[Blind Witness]

accidently hit post before I was done...sorry

[timvp]

Nice job, Blind Witness.