From time to time, KSK has reeled in big-name NFL players and analysts to answer questions from fans the world over. We had Mark Schlereth, and, of course, Yukon Cornelius. Well today, we have a very special guest here with us. It's Tony Dungy, head coach of the Indianapolis Colts and a man regarded as one of the nicest people in all of football, a true gentleman of the sport. Through both personal and professional turmoil, Tony Dungy has remained a rock of poise and grace. He is unflappable. Nothing can... uh... flap him. And did it ever show in our Q&A session. Onto your questions!
Bob T., Indianapolis: Coach, I just wondering how you planned to address the run def... HOLY ! WE HAVE TO PLAY AGAINST ING LJ?! ! ! OH MY GOD, WE'RE ED!
Tony Dungy: Well, Bob, I understand your concern. But we really do think we've made some improvements. If we can just bear down and play our game, I think we should be fine.
Mary J., Indianapolis: How the can you say that?! Ron Dayne just had a record day against us! My God, man! Ron Dayne only runs fast if someone's dangling a bucket of popcorn shrimp in front of him!
Tony Dungy: Again, we're not going to panic in this sort of situation.
Roy K., Indianapolis: Dude, our d-line consists of Nicole Richie, Kate Bosworth, Mary-Kate Olsen, and Keira ing Knightley. What the do we do? My God! It's Larry Johnson! He's not like Christian Okoye. He's actually ing good! GAAHHHHHHH!!!!!
Tony Dungy: Well, we get Bob Sanders back for us this week. He's been a big playmaker for us, and I expect him to give us a little bit of a boost on our run support.
Frank R., Indianapolis: Coach, I'm with you. You can't let a string of bad games get you running around like a chicken with its head cu... OH MY GOD, MY DAUGHTER JUST STABBED ME! AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! MY DAUGHTER! MY ONLY DAUGHTER HAS BETRAYED ME AND BURIED A BUTCHER KNIFE INTO MY SIDE! I AM BLEEDING PROFUSELY! IT FEELS WARM AND GUSHY! WHY, SON?! MY OWN FLESH AND BLOOD! I NEED HELP! PLEASE SOMEONE, CALL A DOCTOR!
Tony Dungy: Again, this is not a time to make rash decisions.
Shannon B., Indianapolis: Coach, my father chained my mother to a radiator and beat her death. I've moved to another county and called the police, but they seem indifferent to my situation. I think he really wants to hurt me. He said if he ever found me, he'd seal me in the drywall. What do I do?
Tony Dungy: As I said before, you have to keep a level head here. We all face adversity, but anyone can handle it with some calm and rational thinking.
Dan Q., Indianapolis: Good God man, does nothing bother you? WAKE THE UP, MAN! It's the ing playoffs! Show some goddamn fire for once in your life, you eerily calm bas !
Tony Dungy: I don't really think pointing fingers and looking to blame others is productive at this point.
Jimmy D., Indianapolis: HELP HELP HELP!!!! I'M ON FIRE! MY STOVE EXPLODED AND NOW MY BODY IS BURNING!!! I CAN SMELL THE SICK STENCH OF MY HAIR MELTING! AAAHHH, THE FIRE'S ON MY ! NOOOOOO!!! MY MANHOOD IS TURNING TO ASH BEFORE MY VERY EYES! I CAN SEE THE FLESH PEELING OFF IN LONG, CURLING RIBBONS! DEAR GOD, PLEASE HELP ME!!!! CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT! THE NUMBER IS 407-785-9054! HURRY! SOMEONE!
Tony Dungy: Well, let's not jump to conclusions here. I think you want to gather yourself before you go ahead and do something you regret.
Gary S., Indianapolis: I have your wife. I want a car and six million dollars in unmarked Barra Bonds. Do not call the police or your wife will die. You have my instructions.
Tony Dungy: Let's all just stop and take a breather for a moment. That way we can find a way to improve things.
Julie O., Indianapolis: Uh, Coach, you have a very small mus stain on your shirt.
Tony Dungy: I do? Really? Oh man, I just bought this shirt. Motherfu...
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