2006 Darwin Awards

[tlongII]

Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are
bestowed, honouring the least evolved among us. Here then, are the glorious
winners.

1. When his 38-calibre revolver failed to
fire at his intended victim during a
hold-up in Long Beach, California,
would-be robber James Elliot did
something that can only inspire wonder. He
peered down the barrel and tried the
trigger again. This time it worked.....

And now, the honourable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland
lost a finger in a meat cutting machine
and, after a little hopping around,
submitted a claim to his insurance
company. The company, expecting
negligence, sent out one of its men to
have a look for himself. He tried the
machine and lost a finger. The chef's
claim was approved.

3. A man who shovelled snow for an hour
to clear a space for his car during a
blizzard in Chicago returned with his
vehicle to find a woman had taken the
space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an
illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found
that the 20 mental patients he was
supposed to be transporting from Harare
to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to
admit his incompetence, the driver went to
a nearby bus stop and offered everyone
waiting there a free ride. He then
delivered the passengers to the mental
hospital, telling the staff that the
patients were very excitable and prone to
bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't
discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the
hospital recovering from serious head
wounds received from an oncoming train.
When asked how he received the injuries,
the lad told police that he was simply
trying to see how close he could get his
head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana
Circle-K put a $20 bill on the counter,
and asked for change. When the clerk
opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a
gun and asked for all the cash in the
register, which the clerk promptly
provided. The man took the cash from the
clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on
the counter. The total amount of cash he
got from the drawer...$15. (If someone
points a gun at you and gives you money,
is a crime committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some
beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd
just throw a cinderblock through a liquor
store window, grab some booze, and run. So
he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it
over his head at the window. The
cinderblock bounced back and hit the
would-be thief on the head, knocking him
unconscious. The liquor store window was
made of Plexiglas. The whole event was
caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York
convenience store, a man grabbed her
purse and ran. The clerk called 911
immediately, and the woman was able to
give them a detailed description of the
snatcher. Within minutes, the police
apprehended the snatcher. They put him in
the car and drove back to the store. The
thief was then taken out of the car and
told to stand there for a positive ID. To
which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's
her. That's the lady I stole the purse
from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column
reported that a man walked into a Burger
King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m.,
flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The
clerk turned him down because he said he
couldn't open the cash register without a
food order. When the man ordered onion
rings, the clerk said they weren't
available for breakfast. The man,
frustrated, walked away.

10. When a man attempted to siphon
gasoline from a motor home parked on a
Seattle Street, he got much more than he
bargained for. Police arrived at the scene
to find a very sick man curled up next to
a motor home near spilled sewage. A
police spokesman said that the man
admitted to trying to steal gasoline and
plugged his siphon hose into the motor
home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner
of the vehicle declined to press charges,
saying that it was the best laugh he'd
ever had.

[CavsSuperFan]

That burger king one is for real...That same person waited on me & I couldn’t get a burger or a breakfast sandwich...I also walked away....

[zero signal]

10. When a man attempted to siphon
gasoline from a motor home parked on a
Seattle Street, he got much more than he
bargained for. Police arrived at the scene
to find a very sick man curled up next to
a motor home near spilled sewage. A
police spokesman said that the man
admitted to trying to steal gasoline and
plugged his siphon hose into the motor
home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner
of the vehicle declined to press charges,
saying that it was the best laugh he'd
ever had.

This could easily be #2 or #3.

[Mixability]

A man who shovelled snow for an hour
to clear a space for his car during a
blizzard in Chicago returned with his
vehicle to find a woman had taken the
space. Understandably, he shot her.

She deserved it.

[Fillmoe]

4. After stopping for drinks at an
illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found
that the 20 mental patients he was
supposed to be transporting from Harare
to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to
admit his incompetence, the driver went to
a nearby bus stop and offered everyone
waiting there a free ride. He then
delivered the passengers to the mental
hospital, telling the staff that the
patients were very excitable and prone to
bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't
discovered for 3 days.

i would like to shake that bus drivers hand....

[greywheel]

Sounds a lot like the 2005 Awards:

Snopes: 2005 Darwin Awards

[DarkReign]

#3 is the best.