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  1. #1
    needs a margarita
    Location
    San Antonio, baby!
    Post Count
    12,739
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    To all the wonderful mothers on this board, I give you this (and I'm guilty fo a few...)

    Great MOMisums of all time.

    A little "birdy" told me!
    All I do is follow you around, picking up after you like some maid.
    Am I talking to a brick wall?
    Are you deaf or something?
    As long as you live under my roof, you'll do as I say.
    Beds are NOT made for jumping on.
    Call me when you get there, just so I know you're okay.
    Close the door!
    You don't live in a barn.
    Do as I say, not as I do.
    Do you think I'm made of money?
    Don't eat that, you'll get worms!
    Don't go out with a wet head, you'll catch cold.
    Don't make me get up!
    Don't sit too close to the television, it'll ruin your eyes.
    Don't talk with your mouth full!
    Don't walk away when I'm talking to you!
    Eat your vegetables, they're good for you.
    Enough is enough!
    Go play outside!
    It's a beautiful day!
    Going to a party? Leave a phone number in case I need to call.
    Going to a party? Who's going to be there?
    Going to a party? Will the parents be home?
    How do you know you don't like it if you haven't tasted it?
    I brought you into this world, and I can take you right back out!
    I can't believe you can sleep in this filth!
    I didn't ask who put it there, I said "Pick it up!"
    I don't care what "everyone" is doing. I care what YOU are doing!
    I don't have to explain myself.
    I said no.
    I hope someday you have children just like you.
    I just want what's best for you.
    I will always love you - no matter what.
    If God had wanted you to have holes in your ears (eyebrows, tongue, etc.) He would have put them there!
    If it were a snake, it would have bitten you.
    If you could stay out last night, you can get up this morning.
    If you don't do it NOW, then when are you going to do it?
    If you're too sick to go to school, you're too sick to play outside.
    I'm doing this for your own good.
    I'm going to skin you alive!
    I'm not going to ask you again.
    I'm not your cleaning lady!
    I'm not your waitress!
    Isn't it past your bedtime?
    It's not that I don't trust you, it's that I don't trust everyone else.
    Life isn't fair.
    Look at me when I'm talking to you.
    Money does NOT grow on trees.
    No child of MINE would do something like that.
    Nobody asked you.
    Over my dead body!
    Pick that up before somebody trips on it and breaks their neck!
    Pick up your feet.
    Put that down!
    You don't know where it's been!
    Say that again and I'll wash your mouth out with soap.
    Shut the door!
    I'm not heating (air conditioning) the entire neighborhood!
    Shut your mouth and eat.
    So it's raining?
    You're not sugar -- you won't melt.
    Someone is going to end up crying.
    This hurts me more than it hurts you.
    Turn that racket (music) down!
    Well, people in want ice water too!
    What did I say the FIRST time?
    What if everyone jumped off a cliff? Would you do it, too?
    What part of NO don't you understand?
    When I was a little girl...
    When I was your age, I had to walk ten miles through the snow, uphill, by myself, to go to school.
    When will you be back? When you have your own house then you can make the rules!
    Where do YOU think you're going?
    Who died and left you boss?
    Who do you think you're talking to?
    Who taught you THAT?
    You didn't learn that in this house!
    You can't find it?
    Well, I can't find it for you - I'm not the maid!
    You can't find it? Well, if you'd put things where they belonged, you wouldn't have this problem. You can't find it?
    Well, where did you leave it last?
    You can't start the day on an empty stomach.
    You don't always get what you want.
    It's a hard lesson, but you might as well learn it now.
    You have an answer for everything, don't you?
    You kids are trying to drive me crazy!
    You must think rules are made to be broken.
    You won't be happy until you break that, will uou?
    You'll understand when you're older.
    A little soap & water never killed anybody.
    Always wear clean underwear in case you get in an accident.
    Answer me when I ask you a question!
    Are you going out dressed like that?
    Are your hands broken?
    Pick it up yourself! I'm not your maid!
    Be good.
    Bored! How can you be bored? I was never bored at your age.
    Clean up after yourself! Do you think this is a hotel? You can't just come here only to sleep.
    Don't ask me WHY.
    The answer is NO.
    Don't cross your eyes or they'll freeze that way.
    Don't EVER let me catch you doing that again!
    Don't make me come in there!
    Don't put that in your mouth, you don't know where it's been.
    Don't run with a lollipop in your mouth.
    Don't use that tone with me!
    Don't you have anything better to do? Go ask your father.
    Go to your room and think about what you did!
    How can you have nothing to wear? Your closet is FULL of clothes!
    How many times do I have to tell you?
    I can always tell when you're lying.
    I can't believe you did that!
    I don't buy snacks to feed the neighborhood!
    I don't care who started it, I said stop!
    I don't know is NOT an answer.
    I hope you don't kiss me with that mouth!
    I said CLOSE the door, I did not say SLAM it.
    I would have never talked to MY mother like that!
    If I catch you doing that one more time, I'll...
    If I want your opinion I'll ask for it!
    If I've told you once ... I've told you a thousand times.
    If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
    If you don't stop crying, I am going to give you something to cry about!
    If you're too full to finish your dinner, you're too full for dessert.
    I'll treat you like an adult when you start acting like one.
    I'm going to give you until the count of three...
    I'm not always going to be around to do these things for you.
    I'm not running a taxi service.
    I'm not your maid!
    It's no use crying over spilt milk.
    I've had it up to here with you.
    Leave your sister (brother) alone!
    Look at this room! It looks like a pigsty!
    Never try on anyone else's glasses or you'll go blind.
    Now, come back downstairs and go back up WITHOUT stomping your feet!
    Now, say you're sorry...and MEAN it!
    Running away? Don't let the door hit you in the rear.
    Running away? I'll help you pack.
    Running away? Is that a threat or a promise?
    Some day you will thank me for this.
    SMACK!!! Someday your face will freeze like that
    The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
    Think of those poor starving children in India... (or China, or Africa.)
    Turn off that light. Do you think we own the electric company?
    Well, people in Hades want ice water, but do you see me with a PITCHER?
    Were you born in a barn?
    Close the door -- and DON'T slam it!
    What do you think, money grows on trees?
    What kind of a grade is that? You could do much better!
    When did your last slave die?
    When I was your age...
    When you have kids of your own you'll understand.
    Where are you going?
    Who are you going with? Do I know them?
    Who do you think you are?
    Who said life was going to be easy?
    Why? Because I SAID so, that's why!
    You are getting on my last nerve.
    You can go out to play...after you pick up your room.
    You can go out to play...after you've done your homework.
    You can't judge a book by its cover.
    You could have called.
    You had better wipe that smile off your face before I do it for you.
    You just ate an hour ago!
    You made your bed, now lie in it.
    You should have that phone surgically implanted in your ear.
    You WILL eat it, and you WILL like it!
    You'd forget your head if it wasn't attached to your shoulders!
    You will ALWAYS be my baby.
    You're going to put your eye out with that thing!
    Your father is going to hear about this when HE gets home!
    You're the oldest. You should know better.
    Last edited by Shelly; 05-11-2007 at 03:10 PM.

  2. #2
    God Talks To Me. angel_luv's Avatar
    Name
    Veronica Lynn
    Location
    Texas
    Post Count
    24,451
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    Happy Mother's day to you all.

    The only mom better than you is mine.

  3. #3
    Believe. Art Linkletter's Avatar
    Post Count
    32
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    I got all you moms a present, had "M" tattoo'd on each butt cheek. When I bend over it says "MoM" and when I stand on my head it says "WoW."

  4. #4
    Stand-up philosopher CharlieMac's Avatar
    Location
    Taco Town, U.S.A.
    Post Count
    5,513
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    My mom is awesome. I need to get her something that says "You're awesome Mom!" tomorrow.

  5. #5
    God Talks To Me. angel_luv's Avatar
    Name
    Veronica Lynn
    Location
    Texas
    Post Count
    24,451
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    For a reasonable fee, I will tell her that for you.

  6. #6
    Stand-up philosopher CharlieMac's Avatar
    Location
    Taco Town, U.S.A.
    Post Count
    5,513
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    Is the use of an exclamation point going to cost extra?

  7. #7
    God Talks To Me. angel_luv's Avatar
    Name
    Veronica Lynn
    Location
    Texas
    Post Count
    24,451
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    I'll waive that fee.

  8. #8
    Stand-up philosopher CharlieMac's Avatar
    Location
    Taco Town, U.S.A.
    Post Count
    5,513
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    Excellent. I bring a bag of pesos and coupons for free pizza and games at Peter Piper Pizza to the next gtg.

  9. #9
    God Talks To Me. angel_luv's Avatar
    Name
    Veronica Lynn
    Location
    Texas
    Post Count
    24,451
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    Deal.

  10. #10
    Silence surpasses speech. duncan228's Avatar
    Location
    Southern California
    Post Count
    27,693
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    College
    Wake Forest Demon Deacons
    Thanks for the laugh, and maybe a little tear, S y.

  11. #11
    Desperate Housewife Flea's Avatar
    Location
    San Antonio
    Post Count
    2,236
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    Thanks S y! I am guilty of a few of those too!

  12. #12
    No More Pink NorCal510's Avatar
    Post Count
    6,332
    NBA Team
    Golden State Warriors
    i aint doing for my mom!

    maybe give her a hug?

  13. #13
    TRU 'cross mah stomach LaMarcus Bryant's Avatar
    Location
    Moldova
    Post Count
    5,731
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    i aint doing for my mom!

    maybe give her a hug?


    dude seriously you look like the biggest in the universe on that yak

  14. #14
    Desperate Housewife Flea's Avatar
    Location
    San Antonio
    Post Count
    2,236
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    i aint doing for my mom!

    maybe give her a hug?

    Pick up some flowers for her.

  15. #15
    Mrs.Useruser666 SpursWoman's Avatar
    Name
    Christy
    Post Count
    27,175
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    i aint doing for my mom!

    maybe give her a hug?

    You should thank the supreme being of your choice that your mom didn't swallow and kiss the ground she walks on.




    Have a great weekend, Ladies!

  16. #16
    So Let Me Have My Sanity... Sonia_TX's Avatar
    Location
    San Antonio
    Post Count
    1,453
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    Happy Mothers Day to all the moms here.

    I got my mom a Blackberry Pearl. She's retiring and has to turn in her phone to work so I figured I'd get her one. It's not a big deal but it will help her.

    Plus my birthday is Sunday too so what other present does she need besides me?! lol

  17. #17
    You ain't mad spurs=bling's Avatar
    Location
    everywhere
    Post Count
    7,370
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    College
    Texas Longhorns
    Happy Mothers Day to all the moms on this forum.

  18. #18
    The Last Good Sport samikeyp's Avatar
    Location
    San Antonio
    Post Count
    28,298
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    College
    Texas Longhorns
    To the moms

  19. #19
    Silence surpasses speech. duncan228's Avatar
    Location
    Southern California
    Post Count
    27,693
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    College
    Wake Forest Demon Deacons
    We should all do something nice for Kori. After all, she's the best "Mom" this forum could ever have!

  20. #20
    Veteran fatsack's Avatar
    Location
    San Antonio
    Post Count
    2,316
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    i'm not reading all that.

  21. #21
    NWF Summers's Avatar
    Location
    Texas
    Post Count
    4,998
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    i aint doing for my mom!

    maybe give her a hug?
    Nice. I hope my boys grow up to be just like you.

  22. #22
    NWF Summers's Avatar
    Location
    Texas
    Post Count
    4,998
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    Happy Mothers Day to all the moms here.

    I got my mom a Blackberry Pearl. She's retiring and has to turn in her phone to work so I figured I'd get her one. It's not a big deal but it will help her.

    Plus my birthday is Sunday too so what other present does she need besides me?! lol
    Sweet! That puts the flowers I sent my mom to shame!

    Thank you and happy Mother's Day to all the mommas!

  23. #23
    NWF Summers's Avatar
    Location
    Texas
    Post Count
    4,998
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    "So it's raining?
    You're not sugar -- you won't melt."

    My mom's variation on this was "Only 2 things melt in the rain, sugar and ".

  24. #24
    The Last Good Sport samikeyp's Avatar
    Location
    San Antonio
    Post Count
    28,298
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    College
    Texas Longhorns
    You should thank the supreme being of your choice that your mom didn't swallow and kiss the ground she walks on.


    an extra to you SW!!

  25. #25
    Dr. Pepper Johnny_Blaze_47's Avatar
    Location
    Seattle, WA
    Post Count
    24,692
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    College
    Texas State Bobcats
    Happy Mother's Day, Moms.

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