Newspapers

[Hook Dem]

NEWSPAPERS

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the
country.
2. The Washington Post is read by the people who think they run the
country.
3. The New York Times is read by the people who think they should
run the country.
4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the
country, but they don't really understand the Washington Post and need
their news summarized in pie charts.
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind
running the country if they could spare the time and if they didn't have
to leave LA to do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the
country and they did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.
7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure
who's running the country and don't really care as long as they can get
a seat on the train.
8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running
the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably
while intoxicated.
9. The Chicago Sun Times is read by people who don't care who's
running the country as long as Richard Daley runs the city.
10. The Chicago Tribune is read by people who think Dusty Baker
could run the country and they just hope he doesn't want to.
11. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure
there really ought to be a country, or that anyone is running it; but
whoever it is, they oppose all that they stand for. There are
occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist
atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any country or
galaxy as long as they are democrats.
12. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another
country and need the baseball scores.

[travis2]

[JoeChalupa]

I read them because I like to.

[Drachen]

The SA Express News is read by people who want to know who is running the country, and what they are doing. Oh, and they think Bexar county is the country.

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

You should all read The University Star.

http://www.UniversityStar.com

Signed,

Joe Ruiz
News Editor
The University Star

Old Main - Room 102
Texas State University-San Marcos
601 University Drive
San Marcos, TX 78666

[email protected]
phone: 512-245-3487
fax: 512-245-3708
http://www.UniversityStar.com