I really hate splitting time between my and my SO's family

[50 cent]

During Thanksgiving and Xmas, this is beginning to be a real problem between my girlfriend and I.

I have a huge family that loves to party it up and have a great time. My family loves her and she loves being around them.

Her family is very small (a mom, 2 sisters, and 2 grandparents).

My family generally has our get togethers about 2-3pm on these holidays and her grandma has a non-negotiable 5pm dinner time for their little group.

Her grandpa has been in AA for the last 30 years and there is absolutely no drinking allowed in their house (we tried that over thanksgiving) and my girlfriend was later ed out by her grandma.

The point is, my family is a blast to be around and it really sucks that we had to leave Thanksgiving and Xmas right when things started to get fun because her grandparents are not willing to change when they get together as a family even though they have very people people to work with.

It's really gotten to the point that I would rather just go to neither than be forced to have a taste fun, only to get stuck on a couch in the back room sitting with a 70 year old man in a hot house unable to drink or do anything fun.


Does anybody else have this problem??? And how do you deal with it?

[Sapphire]

Well, I think you and her should just suck it up for a couple more years. I mean, realistically, how many more years do you think her grandparents are even going to be around? If they are in their 70's, probably not many. Maybe they will stop the GTG's all-together due to health problems and then you'll be in the clear. I just know as I'm getting older that I would do anything to spend time with my grandparents again.

But for now, just eat dinner with them and spend some time together, then go on over to your family's house. This shouldn't be a deal-breaker between you and your gf, especially if your family loves her and she loves them. That's a blessing right there.

[50 cent]

Yeah, I know a lot of it is just being a selfish asshole myself and not wanting to miss out on any of the fun at my family events.

And just like tonight, it always seems like right about the time we are able to sneak away from her grandparents, the party with my family is breaking up and most people are leaving.

Really, I just feel like I have to suck it up and be bored out of my mind at her little family events while everybody is having a great time at my family event and I am missing a lot of it.

[Cry Havoc]

Pretty simple here:

What's important to your SO?

[T Park]

Why not take turns.

SO family gets Thanksgiving.

Your family gets christmas.

Vice versa.

Thats what my family does.

[mrsmaalox]

That's one I struggled with for a long time. Sometimes I'd even volunteer to work on a holiday so as not deal with it. But it was only totally solved by moving away from all of them. Then if anyone wanted to be with us, they came to us. As the years have gone on though, everyone has realized it's really easier and more fun to combine the families. So now every celebration includes us, his and mine. And everyone has gotten real close and the kids LOVE it!

[Man of Steel]

Tell her to spend time with her family and then come over to your place

[traitoravery]

This is what I do....I spend Christmas Eve with my family and get ed up and then wake up and open presents eat breakfast and take a nap. Then me and the SO go over to her parents house for Christmas dinner.

Thanksgiving I have early dinner at her families. Then I have dinner and drinks at my parents house.

My family is cool and this took about a couple of years to get my family on the same page but this year it has worked out perfectly, as I am sitting across from my SO grandfather "looking at work email" hungover as .

[ploto]

Holidays are tough like that- you can decide to alternate holidays but it is difficult to sacrifice an entire holiday away from your family, especially if you are not even married yet. Be grateful, at least, that the two families do not do everything at the same time! You can eventually hold the holiday at your house and invite everyone so it is on your terms.

[Nbadan]

Go drunk and hit on your SO's sisters during dinner, you'll be amazed at how forgiving the old coots become in future years...

[ggoose25]

your future in-laws. Do what you want, and sort out the details later.

[Bigzax]

30 years on AA? If he's not cured by now, it. Give the old guy a drink. Maybe he'll boink grandma she'll realize the error of her ways!!!

[ATRAIN]

Buy a Flask

[Mixability]

How I feel lucky. My fiancee's family eats at Noon on Thanksgiving, my family eats at whatever time the Cowboys game starts(mid-afternoon). Her family celebrates Christmas on Christmas Eve, mine celebrates Christmas Day.

[PM5K]

It's your GIRLFRIEND who gives a , she's not your fiance or wife....

Also, what kind of selfish doesn't allow people to drink around him, I could understand if he just quit drinking, but thirty ing years?

[jcrod]

We have to three different places, my family, her mom's and then her dads.

Thanksgivings - midmorning her mom's, afternoon her dads, night my family (sometimes we skip).

Christmas - Christmas Eve her mom's, Christmas Day her dad's, and then night my family.

Very Tiring, work out a schedule and live with it.

[Holt's Cat]

Her family is a 5-6 hour drive from our house and far enough away from any major airport to make a flight worthwhile. Mine? 3. Completely different directions, unfortunately.

Such is life.

As for drinking, take a flask and sip it in the bedroom.

[E20]

Have someone kill your SO's family. I'm sure Mouse will do it for an empty can of modelo and the 'tab' key from your keyboard.

[E20]

I was being sarcastic so if anybody takes that post seriously go check into an insane asylum.

[Sapphire]

It's your GIRLFRIEND who gives a , she's not your fiance or wife....

Also, what kind of selfish doesn't allow people to drink around him, I could understand if he just quit drinking, but thirty ing years?

50 Cent obviously gives a , or he wouldn't have posted here.



But I do agree with you about the 30 year thing. That is pretty stupid, if you ask me.

[Holt's Cat]

I have a similiar issue with my wife's family. It basically centers around the wife's father not wanting to have people drinking around his father in law, who used to have a drinking problem until he quit cold turkey 20 years ago. Ultimately giving up a little to make your (future) father in law happy isn't a bad policy.

[spurster]

If they annoy you only a few days a year, you don't realize how lucky you are.

Quit whining and count your blessings.

[JoeChalupa]

I know the feeling. The wife's family always did the Christmas Eve thing which I never did growing up. We've always done the Christmas morning thing. The first two years we went to her family's Christmas Eve and allowed my kids to take just a few presents to open. But then they would get up very tired on Christmas day and ruin what I called a tradition so we eventually stopped going and did our own Christmas day, although my MIL still has to show up and makes us wait.
For Thanksgiving our family is small compared to hers but we've always done more of a Thanksgiving lunch, around 1pm and her family always does Thanksgiving dinner around 5pm but it is always later than that since most everyone shows ups late.
So we eat at my family then again at her family in the evening.
But cooperation and give and take from both sides is necessary to prevent any real issues that can ruin a relationship. Of course we all would preferably be with our family but you have to give in sometimes. Or the switch year thing. One year you go to your family and party hard...the next you go to hers and party hard after you leave.
Good luck!!

[ShoogarBear]

Have someone kill your SO's family. I'm sure Mouse will do it for an empty can of modelo and the 'tab' key from your keyboard.

I knew, I just knew, somebody was going to say something like this.