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ummmmmm....ok....
Trying to write an "Onion"-style article and failing miserably...
Spurs Get Front Court Depth from Unlikely Source
By Matthew Powell Section: Spurs_Daily
Posted on Tue Jan 15, 2008
http://www.poundingtherock.com/story.../15/23370/1589
The San Antonio Spurs announced today that they have signed a bear. Per team policy, terms of the deal were not formally disclosed.
The 7'-6", 484 pound grizzly bear has no record of playing organized basketball.
"We definitely think he's got the size and strength to play in this league" said R.C. Buford. In a rare display of candor the Spurs GM went on to add "Plus, since he's not human, he's not part of the players union; we're paying him with week old salmon fillets from HEB... though the speedballs necessary to keep him awake during hibernation season are pretty pricey."
Mike Budenholzer seemed most excited the bear's addition. "Look at that stance! You can tell by the look in his eye that he's seeing both man and ball. And his fur is so shiny!"
The players, led by Bruce Bowen, are a little skeptical. "Did you see the claws on that mother er? And don't bears, like, maul es?"
When asked about playing time for the bear Pop refused to make a commitment but alluded to a possible opportunity. "I saw the bear feeding on the decaying carcass of Robert Horry. I have to admit, I like seeing that in a young player; a guy, or in this case a bear, so hungry for playing time that he'll literally kill to get it." There have been conflicting reports that Horry may have already been dead. For many, many weeks.
The bear could not be reached for comment.
ummmmmm....ok....
Trying to write an "Onion"-style article and failing miserably...
i thought it was kinda funny. what's the difference between the bear and Shaq?
Should have been a Roy Tarpley article this place would have gone ape .
That's Greek Baby Shaq territory.484 pound
this guy's a beast. trade elson now?
its not an actual article. its just a blog post.
It wouldve been funny if it was a midget bear!
Poundingtherock strikes again.
Same guy that wrote the tirade about Pop that was posted a few days ago.
http://spurstalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=85005
The bear shoots free throws better.
...
...
And has a better vocabulary.
That might have been funny if I were about five years old
Gay.
Bonner will chokeslam that bear into oblivion.
Based on the way he threw a fit in the Pop article and now the bear story...maybe he's five years old.That might have been funny if I were about five years old
Thought is was mildly funny.
Mildly amusing, but would've been much better if he didn't have Bruce saying "mother er" and "like, maul es". Bruce is far more eloquent than that.
What does everybody have against bears?
The bear's probably more athletic too ...
I don't think it's that people have anything against them so much as the bear is a vaguely comical animal, unless it's eating your garbage or trying to eat you!What does everybody have against bears?
Personally, I love bears.
The Jungle might decline that deal.
Throw in Bonner, maybe?
Good concept. Bad delivery.
Havoc's spin-off joke was better.
interesting....
not saying it was bad.... just....
interesting....
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