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  1. #1
    Still Hates Small Ball Spurminator's Avatar
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    http://www.pressofatlanticcity.com/l...-7429056c.html

    Roast of 'Mike & Mike' in Atlantic City runs from brilliant to terrible
    SCOTT CRONICK Staff Writer, 609-282-7017
    Published: Saturday, January 12, 2008

    ATLANTIC CITY - It was brutal. It was ridiculous. It was funny - some of the time.

    It was also too long and uneven. There were too many guests. And, unfortunately, there wasn't a hook to pull some of them off the stage.

    It was everything a roast should be: insulting, vulgar and fun. Unfortunately, the fun moments weren't frequent enough as Mike Golic and Mike Greenberg of the popular ESPN morning talk show "Mike & Mike" celebrated their eighth anniversary with a celebrity roast at a sold-out House of Blues.

    If you were in the House Friday night, you were obviously a big sports fan, a listener of the show or both. There were a lot of in-jokes -hit and miss - but the problem with this roast, unlike a Comedy Central or Friar's Club roast, was that there weren't enough comedians.

    Instead, the stage was mostly filled with athletes and ESPN personalities. Not comedians. And it showed. Fortunately, the professional comics who were there did their job.

    Host Jeffrey Ross proved that he's worthy of roastmaster status. In fact, he deserves to headline a casino showroom. The guy absolutely killed from the moment he got on stage.

    "My agent called and said, ‘I got a roast for you on ESPN. Guess who it's for?' Four hours later …" Ross joked.

    "You look great for 89," he told former Chicago Bears coach Mike Ditka, who got the loudest applause of anyone when he walked on stage. "Tonight's event was on his bucket list."

    "This isn't a who's who," he said as he looked around the stage. "It's who didn't make the playoffs."

    ESPN and NFL Network personality Nick Bakay was clever and humorous as usual, commenting on Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson and game-show host Wink Martindale: "Chad is one of the few people who could make Terrell Owens seem stable," he said. "Wink's hair is so bad that Donald Trump called and said to take it down a notch."

    Surprisingly, the best jokes of the night weren't even aimed at Mike & Mike. In fact, some of the people who got up on stage didn't insult them at all. Most threw out jokes that Greenberg was a metrosexual and Golic was fat, but others, like Johnson, mostly talked about themselves.

    But there were a couple of memorable ones.

    On Greenberg hosting a recent ABC game show: "They called it ‘Duel' because the only two people who watched it shot each other. Mike Greenberg is to hosting game shows what Michael Vick is to hosting dog shows."

    "Mike & Mike are so dull they make Mike Tirico's show feel dangerous," Bakay added.

    Comedian Eddie Griffin ("Undercover Brother") was a big crowd favorite as he railed on everyone, particularly paying attention to the guests of honor. "I kind of know my career is over when I'm hired to roast two white guys I never (expletive) heard of."

    Ditka kept it short, but made the crowd laugh a few times, and former Jets star Joe Klecko recycled some old jokes, but was better than his fellow athletes.

    But there were more bombs than success stories. Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis rambled for what seemed like forever, praising the duo and missing the whole point of the night. Ross summed it up best: "Thank you for that great sermon."

    Baltimore Ravens safety Ed Reed had jokes written for him, but didn't read any. Admitting he was drunk, Reed was pulled off the stage by Washington Redskins running back Clinton Portis and former Jets star Joe Klecko. "I didn't realize his middle name was ‘Can't,'" Ross joked.

    Hosts Trey Wingo and Mark Schlereth were horrible leading off the show. Griffin said it best when he said Schlereth did "an hour of nothin'." Portis didn't elicit a chuckle, but at least kept it short. Martindale had a couple of laughs, but stayed on too long. And Johnson had very little to offer, not even a celebration dance.

    ESPN anchor Dana Jacobson made an absolute fool of herself, swilling vodka from a Belvedere bottle, mumbling along and cursing like a sailor as Mike & Mike rested their heads in their hands in embarrassment. Griffin came to the podium to defend her after she was booed by the crowd. Ross eventually had to pull her off stage, too.

    Another disappointment was that Golic and Greenberg didn't really say too much for the finale. Saying they had to keep it short because they had to go to the bathroom, the two pretty much thanked the crowd and left it at that.

    Luckily, rock-pop trio Lifehouse played a semi-acoustic set to open the evening, performing a 20-minute, hit-filled set that included "Hanging By a Moment," "You and Me," "Falling Even More In Love With You" and "Who We Are." While short, the set was certainly sweet as frontman Jason Wade showed off his great vocal chops. It definitely added some value to the night.

    While it had its moments, the three-hour night had too many downs and not enough ups. If they do this again, ESPN should hire more comedians … or at least comedians to write some jokes. Otherwise, they should just stick to sports.

    --------------

    Ignoring the fact that Mike Greenberg and Mike Golic might be the least deserving subjects of a roast in the long history of roasts; ignoring Dana Jacobson's appearance and the fact that it was the only reason anyone even knew there was a Mike and Mike roast; you know an event was a complete disaster when it is given a tepid review that also contains a paragraph devoted to praising the musical merits of the band Lifehouse.

  2. #2
    adolis is altuve’s father monosylab1k's Avatar
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    while throwing myself out there for criticism due to having even a shred of knowlege of Lifehouse's discography, i must ask - isn't "hanging by a moment" and "falling even more in love with you" the exact same song? why did they list it separately?

    pussyface - "you dicaprio loving gy lifehouse song knowing " i wrote it for you so you don't have to bother to reply now.

  3. #3
    Che cazzo stai dicendo? DisgruntledLionFan#54,927's Avatar
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    Where's the gotdamn video?

    " Notre Dame, TD Jesus and Jesus!" need to be heard and seen by these eyes.

  4. #4
    Believe. Richard Cranium's Avatar
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    Dana is a sloppy drunk.

  5. #5
    RIP whottt. slayermin's Avatar
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    Where's the gotdamn video?

    " Notre Dame, TD Jesus and Jesus!" need to be heard and seen by these eyes.
    Is that what she said? She came off her suspension this morning and read a prepared apology.

    I listen to Mike and Mike almost every morning. They have good chemistry but I listen to their show because everybody who's anybody in sports seems to drop in, from time to time.

  6. #6
    Che cazzo stai dicendo? DisgruntledLionFan#54,927's Avatar
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    Yes. She also was swilling straight from a bottle of Belvedere.

  7. #7
    RIP whottt. slayermin's Avatar
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    Yes. She also was swilling straight from a bottle of Belvedere.
    She must have been really .

  8. #8
    Che cazzo stai dicendo? DisgruntledLionFan#54,927's Avatar
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    Indeed.

    She ended up blowing Lee Corso, too. You didn't hear about that?

  9. #9
    Dr. Pepper Johnny_Blaze_47's Avatar
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    Indeed.

    She ended up blowing Lee Corso, too. You didn't hear about that?
    I bet she's gonna have a talk with the ol' ball coach. After that one.

  10. #10
    The Crominator J.T.'s Avatar
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    That's what catholic school will do to you. Props to Dana Jacobson.

  11. #11
    adolis is altuve’s father monosylab1k's Avatar
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    Yes. She also was swilling straight from a bottle of Belvedere.
    indulge moderately.

  12. #12
    Che cazzo stai dicendo? DisgruntledLionFan#54,927's Avatar
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    Thanks, I think I will.

  13. #13
    RIP whottt. slayermin's Avatar
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    Indeed.

    She ended up blowing Lee Corso, too. You didn't hear about that?
    Wtf? Dude. Does that story come up on a web search?

  14. #14
    AT&T Center Home of the Brave! Louie Vega's Avatar
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    Mike and Mike suck. It is no wonder their roast sucked. Not to mention they love the Mavericks and are buddy buddy with Cuban and others in their front office. As a matter of fact Mike and Mike!!!!!!!!!

  15. #15
    Hedo Layup Drill ShoogarBear's Avatar
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    That's what catholic school will do to you. Props to Dana Jacobson.
    Catholic school? Isn't she Jewish?

  16. #16
    Hedo Layup Drill ShoogarBear's Avatar
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    Wtf? Dude. Does that story come up on a web search?
    Why the would you want to search for that?

  17. #17
    RIP whottt. slayermin's Avatar
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    Why the would you want to search for that?
    I watch First Take a lot so I wanted to know if this story had legs.

  18. #18
    ATRAIN is gay peewee's lovechild's Avatar
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    I think it's hillarious that a Jew would call out Jesus like that.

    I would have been laughing my ass off if I were in the audience.

  19. #19
    adolis is altuve’s father monosylab1k's Avatar
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  20. #20
    Dr. Pepper Johnny_Blaze_47's Avatar
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    Why the would you want to search for that?
    I shudder to think what the actual results were of that web search.

  21. #21
    Dr. Pepper Johnny_Blaze_47's Avatar
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  22. #22
    In Dirk We Trust sribb43's Avatar
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    why the F does Mike and Mike get a roast, they are a bunch of spares

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