Picnic tables are S.E.X.Y.

[Shelly]

http://www.kalb.com/index.php/news/a...-sex-man/5324/

By Chris Blalock -
NBC
March 28 2008 | text size: small medium large


An Ohio man is charged with four counts of public indecency after he admitted to having sex with his patio picnic table. Authorities in Huron County, Ohio say 40-year-old Art Price Junior confessed to repeatedly having sex with the table between January and March of this year.

Police in Bellevue, Ohio were tipped off, after someone anonymously taped one of the incidents then gave the recording to police. According to police, Price admitted that he had sex with the picnic table both inside and outside his home.

He is free on a $20,000 bond.

[Shelly]

I guess his blow up doll left him?

[Spurfect]

i guess the wood gave him a woody?

[dimsah]

January through March? You'd think he would have waited for the summer months.

[Shelly]

I wonder if he would dress up the table by using fancy tablecloths.

[Spurfect]

I wonder if he would dress up the table by using fancy tablecloths.

a lacey doily?

[Shelly]

If he screwed a Little Tykes picnic table, would that make him a pedophile?

[Spurfect]

If he screwed a Little Tykes picnic table, would that make him a pedophile?

as disturbing and digusting as it is.. i don't see why this man is arrested and/o going to jail for it. unless he really did do it out in the open for anyone to see. I mean it's just a table, unless the table didn't give its consent (knock on wood)

[Spurfect]

and also i thought it was hilarious that he has had sex with the table "outside and inside" the home. so he actually takes the table inside to have sex with it? LOL...
well i guess maybe it was those times he was feeling romantic or something

[marini martini]

Wasn't he in the privacy of his own home?

[Shelly]

as disturbing and digusting as it is.. i don't see why this man is arrested and/o going to jail for it. unless he really did do it out in the open for anyone to see. I mean it's just a table, unless the table didn't give its consent (knock on wood)

True--Maybe there's still some archaic law about "Thou Shall Not Fornicate A Picnic Table" on the books!

[Shelly]

and also i thought it was hilarious that he has had sex with the table "outside and inside" the home. so he actually takes the table inside to have sex with it? LOL...
well i guess maybe it was those times he was feeling romantic or something

I wonder if he set the table first?

[Shelly]

Somehow, I think PeeWee would approve...

[dallaskd]

poor bas . why not just jack off?

[dimsah]

When he's getting romantic with the table indoors, does he set the mood with candles or is he worried about the fire hazard?

[Spurfect]

When he's getting romantic with the table indoors, does he set the mood with candles or is he worried about the fire hazard?

maybe the table just wasn't into the whole hot wax thing

[Ed Helicopter Jones]

Forget all you mofos!!


I'm beating this rap I tell ya!!!



I'll tell you all the same thing I told the cops....it was consensual...it was consensual damnit!!!

[mavs>spurs2]

First time I read this I thought it said ON the table...not with..wow

[Shelly]

Forget all you mofos!!


I'm beating this rap I tell ya!!!



I'll tell you all the same thing I told the cops....it was consensual...it was consensual damnit!!!

Mrs. Chopper not putting out lately??

[peewee's lovechild]

Somehow, I think PeeWee would approve...

No one should come between a man and the love for his table.

[peewee's lovechild]

Paul McCartney was three wooden legs short of being married to a table.

[ShoogarBear]

That table was a carpenter's dream.

[Ed Helicopter Jones]

Mrs. Chopper not putting out lately??

I don't think I've ever posted a picture of the Mrs.......





Here's one of her with Chopper Jr.:




Look how sweet she is to shade our little boy from the sun (note that the umbrella is removed when it's 'lovin time').

[Shelly]

Mrs. Chopper is wearing a lovely 'hat'

[Ed Helicopter Jones]

Mrs. Chopper is wearing a lovely 'hat'

That made me :Lol