Futurama > Family Guy
Bender: o, mama! Hold still, sexy lady![points the F-Ray at a hookerbot]
Bender: [gasps]
Fry: What?
Bender: That's no lady!
Hookerbot: Damn, chico. One more upgrade and I'll be more lady than you can handle! Why you so stupid, stupid?
Bender: Hey, bite my shiny metal ass!
Hookerbot: You couldn't afford it, honey!
Professor Farnsworth: Everyone get in bed with me. I have something to show you.
[The Planet Express staff climbs into the bed.]
Professor Farnsworth: Feast your eyes…on this!
[Everyone gasps.]
Leela: It's beautiful!
Amy Wong: And huge!
Fry: Can I touch it?
"Hey baby, wanna kill all humans?"
Farnsworth: "Make up with her? After she went all psycho when i thought everything was cool?? Impossible!"
Fry: "Man, i can't wait until i'm old enough to feel ways about stuff."
"Sweet zombie Jesus!"
Fry: That clover helped my rat-faced brother steal my dream of going into space. Now I'll never get there.
Leela: You went there this morning for doughnuts.
Nibblonian: You are the last hope of the universe.
Fry: So I really am important? How I feel when I'm drunk is correct?
Nibblonian: Yes - except the Dave Matthews Band doesn't rock.
Hopefully these quotes are close to exact; my memory isn't what it used to be:
Professor Farnsworth: Wrong again, idiot!
Mom: Now I'm off to some charity BS for knocked up teenage s.
Professor Farnsworth: With my last breath I curse Zoidberg!
Leela (to Fry and Bender): This is the third hose fight I've broken up this morning, and the second involving actual hoses.
And this exchange:
Hermes: We can't compete with Mom! We're small and neutral.
80s Guy: Switzerland is small and neutral. We're like Germany. . . ambitious, and misunderstood.
Amy: Everyone wants to be like Germany. But do we really have the pure strength of will?
Oh, and I love it when Kiff is upset at Amy's parents' house and she offers to go get his tissues from his tote.
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