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i have absolutely no ing words...
10. Men do not have Tourette Syndrome
I believe all women suffer from a mild and extremely localized form of Tourette Syndrome. The afflicted organ? Their tongues. That’s why women cannot shut their ing mouths for ten seconds while adults are speaking around them. Their tongues are battling around in their mouths like drunken Vipers.
9. Men are not sponges
Women are social chameleons — or better yet: social vampires. Women walk into a situation and before you know it they’ve completely changed their wardrobe and mannerisms as if they’ve joined a ing cult. Men are not sheep. Everyone knows the word for a female sheep is ewe, but what about the male word? There isn’t one because sheep is something men are not.
8. Women are racists
Women’s entire lives and social circles are based around hatred. Do they hate their boyfriends? Do they hate their wardrobe? Do they hate each other? Yes, yes and definitely. Men don’t go in for that silly sort of nonsense. If we’re dissatisfied, we pick up and move out. Or we take our mighty man muscles and lift ing mountains so the world looks exactly the way we want it to. Men do more world changing before 9:00 AM than any woman ever has done in her whole life.
7. Men live less than women
The last thing a society needs is a bunch of non-contributing members laying around and sucking all the juice from the young. Men know this so they blast off from birth like shooting man stars — burning out ten years faster, but setting the whole night ablaze with manness. Women just kind of lie around like big fat pigs in big fat puddles of . Congratulations women. You really earned those rights!
6. Men write illegibly
Writing is stupid and an ineffective way to communicate. Men know this so they don’t give a about handwriting things with big hoops and loops and squiggles and so aliens can read notes about remembering to pick up your birth control pills after 6th period from space.
5. Jesus was a man
Whether or not you believe in Jesus, there is one fact you can’t argue with: he was a man. No religion anywhere has ever put a woman in charge of . That’s called dogma — man-dogma — and it means men are better than women.
4. Men wear watches
Do you know why men wear watches? It’s because there’s a limited amount of time in the day and men need to know how much of it there is so they can efficiently allocate their man ass kicking for the day. Women don’t wear watches; they wear bracelets. Women wearing bracelets is like dropping a bus of re ed kids off in front of a taffy pulling machine. They can just stare for hours and never get bored.
A watch says, ‘Get up and go! Move your man ass and take care of your ing man business!’ That’s why 60 minutes uses a ticking watch for its theme song. ‘Important is going down and we’re about to talk about it in a ing fastidious manner, so get the ready,’ says a ticking watch. A bracelet says, ‘You’re most likely ugly, but look at how much money you’re worth!’ What a joke.
3. Boys destroy things
The only thing that has ever lifted our species out of the trees where we came from is our ability to destroy. Take paper: the cornerstone of the modern world. That was invented because man wanted to destroy trees and beat them into pulp. How about nuclear power? Men invented that too. Men are natural destructors. We pop right out of the man-womb and start on a life-long tirade of progress by tearing down the Earth with our mighty, man-manly man-fists. Goddammit, that’s awesome!
2. Marriage is stupid
Marriage is 100% the fault of women. It was invented by men though! Did you know that? Marriage was invented because women were too busy whoring it out to the only the guy who was paying their rent and feeding their fat asses French bon-bons every day. Men invented marriage as a way of telling women who they could and couldn’t . Like everything else men have ever invented, it completely worked and worked way better than any man thought it would. Women became so indoctrinated by the man-invention of marriage that they’re ing obsessed with it.
Marriage is still stupid. It’s a stupid game invented to entertain stupid minds and to teach basic lessons of fidelity that even invertebrates are born with.
1. Men have penises
When it comes to being a man, being quick at identifying problems is tantamount to fixing them. In fact it’s tantamount-ier. Having a penis — in other words looking like a man and having man parts — is a man’s way of telling other men, ‘Hey. Look at me. I’m a man. I won’t up whatever it is that you’re trying to do. If you need some help, maybe ask me and I’ll see if I can lend a man-hand. It’s the least I could do to be ing courteous.’
Men Are Better Than Women.
http://www.menarebetterthanwomen.com/
Last edited by word; 04-10-2008 at 01:04 AM.
i have absolutely no ing words...
That's manly.
Yo, holmes, to Bel-Air!
This thread is even gayer than Shagia, and I think he'd agree
stupid.
cmon john,
its done in satire.
go a little easy on the chivalry.
Hmmmm... I'm perplexed...
Clearly whomever wrote this originally either really believed these things, or assumed (accurately, apparently) that other people would find it amusing. I honestly don't know which scenario I find more offensive.
i'm a man but that was gay
It's not that bad; it's a little entertaining. I found 2 very positive messages in that post:
#7 Men live less than women
#10 Men have penises
This thread is the truth!!!!
I have to admit, I find your arguments very persuasive.
I laughed.
Grow a sense of humor.
Given that there are several things gayer than myself, yes, I'd agree that this thread is potentially gayer than myself.
I like the concept, but the writing was poorly done. The majority of these aren't funny, but with a little work they could have been funny.
our brains are bigger...
not to mention we have been superior since the beginning of time
We don't have boobs.
we dont have vaginas.... well most of us dont.... im not sure about that ruffnready dude
t park does
man boobs don't count.
We can pee standing up, which makes designing our bathrooms much easier. You just hang a bucket on the wall and we can hit it. Try that in a ladies room and those poor gals have to try some Harlem Globetrotters' style no-look shot.
I was going to post that actually but, you could really tie that into men having penises/tube shoots for urinating.
Men think alike, while women just argue about who is right.
we want to solve problems while women just constantly want to state that they have problems and would like to talk about them...
one thing says it all. WNBA.......You dont see us writing on Silverstarstalk.com now do you?
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