Mike Finger: Spurs take a crack at choosing adventures
Web Posted: 04/15/2008 11:14 PM CDT
Mike Finger
San Antonio Express-News
Back in grade school, a series of books called "Choose Your Own Adventure" was all the rage. First published in 1979, the stories allowed children to decide which path a character would take. Every option led to more choices, so each book had dozens of possible endings.
Tonight at the AT&T Center, the Spurs are looking at enough scenarios to fill a "Choose Your Own Adventure" tale of their own. Here's what it looks like:
1. Recognizing the importance of the regular-season finale, Manu Ginobili once again begs to play despite nursing a sore groin. As Gregg Popovich, you can either let Ginobili suit up (go to No. 2) or rest him for one more game (skip to No. 4).
2. Thanks in large part to Ginobili, the Spurs are ahead by six late in the game. As Manu, you see a loose ball bounding toward the scorer's table near midcourt. You can either dive to save it (go to No. 3) or defy all of your instincts and let it go out of bounds (skip to No. 5).
3. Ouch! Manu reinjures his groin. Skip to No. 14.
4. With Manu out, the Jazz have a shot to win it on the last possession. As Popovich, you can call for either standard man-to-man defense (skip to No. 8) or double-team Deron Williams and leave Mehmet Okur wide open (go to No. 5).
5. Good job! You've won the finale, kept Manu healthy, and now have home-court advantage against the Suns. In Game 5, Amare Stoudemire sets a high screen for Steve Nash. As Bruce Bowen, you can either run into the screen elbow-first as you did last week (go to No. 6) or go under the screen and give Nash room (skip to No. 7).
6. Stoudemire follows through on his not-so-veiled threat to beat Bowen's brains out but draws a three-game suspension. The Spurs win the series. Skip to No. 11.
7. Finally seeing the Spurs back down, the Suns are emboldened, and Nash swishes a 3-pointer. Skip to No. 16.
8. Uh-oh. Williams hits the game-winner, and now you have to face the Jazz on the road in the first round. Near the end of Game 7, one of the rowdy Utah fans plunks Tim Duncan in the head with a battery. As Popovich, do you replace him with Matt Bonner (skip to No. 9) or Robert Horry (skip to No. 10)?
9. Having waited for this moment all season, the Red Rocket delivers. Skip to No. 11.
10. Suddenly, everyone realizes the only "big shot" Rob has left is a painkiller injection. Skip to No. 16.
11. In the conference semifinals against New Orleans, Chris Paul averages a triple-double in Games 1 and 2. When the series shifts back to San Antonio, as Popovich, do you mix things up by starting Damon Stoudamire over Tony Parker (skip to No. 15) or talk to the room-service guys at the Grand Hyatt about a special CP3 Crčme Brulee recipe (go to No. 12)?
12. Fantastic! You've made the conference finals. In Game 5 against the Lakers, Kobe Bryant is preparing to shoot two critical free throws in the closing seconds. As Brent Barry, you walk past Bryant and either say "Kobe's wife is looking good," while pointing at Dyan Cannon (skip to No. 16) or say "Kobe's wife is looking good," while pointing at Penny Marshall (go to No. 13).
13. That did the trick. Now, you're in the NBA Finals against the Celtics, but Manu has torn his hamstring and broken three ribs. As Popovich, you can do the sensible thing and keep Ginobili out (go to No. 14) or throw caution to the wind and expect Manu to deliver a miracle (skip to No. 17).
14. The season ends in disaster, an angry mob of Argentines storms The Dominion to kick Popovich around like a soccer ball, and Kelvin Sampson takes over as head coach. The end.
15. The season ends in disaster, a slightly perturbed mob of Frenchmen storms The Dominion to thumb their noses at Popovich, and Eva starts spreading nasty rumors about Stoudamire's wife. The end.
16. Too bad. The dynasty is over. The end.
17. Congratulations! You've won a fifth NBA championship, and now you have to decide what to wear to the river parade. That part is completely up to you.
http://www.mysanantonio.com/sports/b...n.37cb521.html
lol
this finger dude is wayyy better than mcdonald!
I can't remember a more laugh-out-loud entertaining sports article. And I've read a lot of them. A real gem.
I think I may start yet another thread about this article.
instant classic
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