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Haters wanna hate
Lovers wanna love
I don't want
none of the above
I miss the simple days when there wasn't all this attention paid to what someone wears. Back in my day we didn't have the American Eagle, or Hollister or Aeropostle and all this name brand crap going around. Levi's were the norm and we all got along without all this status symbol and baseball cap was just that...a baseball cap and we wore them straight on our head and took the damn tags off and didn't wear them -eyed and we respected out teachers and others and of course we had our bad apples but they were few and far between.
Perhaps some of the blame should be on the parents who gave their kids this whole "en lement" at ude?
Back in my day the cheerleader unforms were a distraction to me with those tight shorts and those nice smooth legs....never mind.
But I am from a different generation trying to Roll with the Changes and I believe I am a parent first and a friend second.
Haters wanna hate
Lovers wanna love
I don't want
none of the above
So you have a problem with the status associated with designer clothing? I'm pretty sure that in of itself shouldn't be justification for a tight dress code. Should it? and why?
I'm also not sure why being a parent first is even a part of the convo...why did you feel the need to toss that in there?
Yes I do. I was just posting my thoughts but I don't think it should be a reason for a dress code. In my day the dress code was very simple and parents didn't even have to ask. It was common sense.
And I threw that last remark in there because I'm JoeChalupa and that's what I do sometimes. I roll with my mind flow it that makes any sense.
When it comes do designer clothes I'm cheap.
You're daughter sounds smart. What if she is really smart and lied to you about everything so she would not get into more trouble. I'm sure you trust her but you probably should investigate this a little more. 3 days suspensions plus the rep as a crazed freak to her teachers and classmates is not a good thing. Might sound good now but unless you plan on moving you might want to fix the record if she is telling the truth.
So going back to what you said "don't you think they brought it on themselves".
I'm still confused as to what that meant.
Don't be so quick to judge these places!
When we went shopping, Aripostale was selling their polo-type girls shirts for $9.99, and the boys' were like 50% off, or around $16.00. American Eagle was about the same. Those were actually the cheapest, cutest shirts we could find to stay within the dress code perimeters ... and that's what they are alllll wearing at school.
And Levi's are "name-brand crap."
Hollister, though. I hate that store.
The point I was trying to make, and apparently I'm not very good at it, is that if kids would just dress appropriately [nerdy as some would say] there would be no need for such strict dress codes. I understand the whole "express myself" and wanting to have your own iden y thing.
And it isn't so much the price of the clothing as it is the look and I've never considered Levi's designer clothing but that is just me. I get the "name brand" of Levi's so that was my bad. I just never was one to be with the "in" crowd I guess. I wore combat boots and was goth before goth was a look.
I could have sworn this was addressed earlier in the thread but now I can't find it.
In any event I don't care. She's never been one to lie and if she did props to her for being creative and covering her ass. I did the same thing when I was a kid. Got busted fighting and while we waited for the VP I preped the kid and told him to stick to the story that we were just horsing around the teacher simply overreacted. It kept me out of trouble.
I know the kid well and she's pretty passive I'd venture to say she's telling me the truth and both girls sat on the phone and chatted a good 2 hours last night. You don't do that with someone you just got into a fight with. Part of being parent is being close to your kids and learning their behavior so you can parent appropriately. She has a predictable personality and I'm comfortable believing her story....I usually can tell when she's stretching the truth IE "I'm sick can I stay home" or "yeah I did my chores" so on and so forth.
However anythings possible.
I'm not interested in fixing her record. She wants to do well and tries hard with school and I can honestly say she gives a about her herself and where she's going. Having a record and being concerned about it being an issue later will probably keep her in check and keep her mind fresh and aware that a wrong move down the road might have bigger consequences.
Right so your pregoth goth look would at this point be banned. Even though you and I know you seemingly dressed appropriately. It was you being you. So for some, baggy pants and stupid hair, is somewhat normal these days its just them being them....only different.
A teacher could have easily said your boots and dark look was a distraction.
Definitely agree with the second paragraph. If you find that behavior to be unacceptable, you should also exhibit some self-restraint.I guess I still just find it strange when parents cuss around kids. Maybe it's because the strongest thing I EVER heard come out of my dads mouth was "som " and that was when he repeated a line from Smokey and the Bandit. My kids hear me cuss very rarely, and I'm not so naive as to think they don't cuss...well, I've heard my son say "what the ..." (he's 14) but I don't think I've ever heard my daughter (11) cuss.
My biggest gripe (and this isn't directed at you, by any means) is when I hear parents saying " this" and " that" around their kids, then blow a gasket the first time they hear their kid say the same thing. Kids live what they learn, for the most part.
But 1,000 kudos to your girl for doing what she did. She helped that little girl save face and probably made a friend for life. Most kids would have made fun, or gone and told all their friends after class and not done anything to help. And now she's got a rep at school...no one will mess with her
I come from a loud Sicilian family, though, and no one has ever held back with cursing. My 80-something great-grandmother used to curse a blue streak when she was baking. In English and Italian. If I said anything in front of my mom when I was really young, I'd get a warning about appropriate language, but once I turned 13 she didn't care anymore. Figured a few bad words was the least of her concerns with a teenager. Well... as long as it wasn't directed at her. I could say "I burned my ing hand," but I couldn't say " you, Mom" without getting slapped.
My friends at the time, most of whom were Black, thought it was just crazy that I would curse in front of my mother and assumed it was something that all psycho little white kids did.
I had a step sister once who was creative in her storys. Thats why I even bring it up. My step dad at the time should have fixed things years ago when she was around 12-13. She turned out be a liar, low class . Everyone else in that family made something out of there life except her. I say this because she had the same oppurtunity as all of us kids. She choose to cheat her way through life. She had some good storys.
She has like 5 kids, lives in a trailor and divorce. I think she is 25-26 now. Thats a pretty bad case but I have a 5 year old and I will do my best to make sure she is telling me the truth especially if she gets suspended from school. Thats a pretty big deaal
I have no clue about you're daughter or you as a dad. I am not judging.Thought I would add my 2 cents from something I witnessed.
How did your Italian family feel about you befriending black kids?
True but goth in my day didn't look like the goth of today. No black makeup or earings or nose rings or ed hair. I was a model student and if anything was a distraction it was boyish young always tanned athletichispanic good looks...that have faded over the years.
Your .02 is appreciated. The thought crossed my mind because of my own personal history. Usually when someone takes on a role or a direction that might lead to them being some kind of compulsive liar or piece of trash for the lack of a better term you hope you can pick up the signs. I'm always looking. I just don't see it with this kid...not yet at least. Hopefully never. What happened is a shock because of the entire scope of the situation but I'm not suprised that she stepped up because I expect that out of her. She's the one of the two girls that would go an extra mile for a friend, probably even any peer.
The older one probably would have laughed and gossiped...she's definately different.
Greaser were trash back in the day now they are considered NASCAR prospects. You have to allow change and growth even if the direction doesn't fall perfectly in line with how you precieved things growing up. The ability to work change into everyday life is where people truely become successful. Adapt and overcome. To simply stiffle something because its convienent is counter productive in my opinion.
I was called a greaser back in my day too but it wasn't due to my love of cars. I understand what you are saying but I also still believe in old fashioned values despite of my being a progressive liberal in a political point of view....CHANGE is a good thing!! But I'll leave that to the political forum. But I also don't think all change is good. I tend to roll with the punches during my life since I didn't have a cell phone, PC or play station growing up and spend more time outside just being a kid than most kids do today.
I also tend to ramble go off and drift into other areas and don't always stick to the talking points.
And I did have to adjust and adapt since I knew no English at all when I started school and was the only minority for miles in our county so I know how to adapt my friend.
Maybe I'm just an old dog trying to learn new tricks.
Befriending? They didn't care. Dating, on the other hand, was... less than appreciated. And it eventually died down as I got older. The guy I was with when my grandmother passed was Black and, even though she probably would have preferred I settle down with a nice Sicilian boy (in fact went so far as to try and fix me up with White guys when my boyfriend and I were first dating), she liked him as a person.
That was just the further removed family, though -- grandparents (Italian, Irish, and Swedish), a couple aunts, cousins, etc. -- and I grew up with the knowledge that those at udes were ignorant, so I never really let it bother me. Both of my parents are super liberal types who raised me to believe that people are just people regardless their race, religion, age, sexuality, height, weight, and on and on.
Daughter is a of a person, and I don't see why she should break up the friendship.
well, if you want your kid to ever be selected for anything, you need to go up there and clear the record.
This may have been brought up or pointed out before in this thread, but why didn't your daughter just tell the Principle the truth? That she did all that because her friend pissed herself.
That she was just helping her out so she wouldn't be embarrassed.
And must they and A&F constantly spray their perfume and/or cologne. I get a headache just walking by those stores.Don't be so quick to judge these places!
When we went shopping, Aripostale was selling their polo-type girls shirts for $9.99, and the boys' were like 50% off, or around $16.00. American Eagle was about the same. Those were actually the cheapest, cutest shirts we could find to stay within the dress code perimeters ... and that's what they are alllll wearing at school.
And Levi's are "name-brand crap."
Hollister, though. I hate that store.
Speaking of dress codes..
I don't mind if they have to wear uniforms, but my kids aren't in schools that require it. What I don't get is my son's Middle School not allowing them to wear shorts. It's totally ridiculous.
However, O'Connor says they aren't allowed to wear shorts, but they let them anyway.
Yeah.
But the daughter had the nuts to do something for her friend.
The "no shorts" rule first came into affect when I was in middle school. It was hard to understand at first because it's so damn hot here, but I think it was more to enforce on the girls than guys. I remember so many girls in my class trying to dress like hookers with super short shorts, it was disgusting.
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