Visit from the kids father.

[lebomb]

I'm going to say it again.

I'm not saying don't get a degree. All I'm saying is to be smart about it. If you want to be a chef I would formulate a plan that leds you in the right direction. I wouldn't suggest a degree from UTSA. There are better ways.

If you're going to be a dentist or doctor I would hope you'd be smart enough to get the appropriate degree to do so and from an appropriate school.

I'm specifically saying to be more intelligent about your education not to avoid it. The part about not going to school was me simply telling the kids that it was an option not a requirement.

I'm not an advocate for passing on higher education I'm an advocate for better planning.

First of all I wasnt directing this comment to you......It was to a few other that completely dismiss a college education.

Re-read your post and I wiped out alot I had to say.

Laterz!

[BacktoBasics]

First of all I wasnt directing this comment to you......It was to a few other that completely dismiss a college education. Also, I have a degree from Utsa and have 10 individuals from other more popular universities that answer to me. Im sure the schools you consider supperior. To be honest with you.......it really, really and I mean really doesnt matter where you go, as long as your GPA is good. I know people from schools so small and insignificant you never heard of probably, but they have great positions in great companies.

Anyhow, Im done.....just threw my measly opinion out there.

Laterz!

Point taken. I realize that in many cases where you go doesn't play a huge role in the hiring process but it doesn't make sense to attend UTSA for a culinary degree. Not that UTSA couldn't compliment a degree from a more prestigious culinary school. The other thing you aren't taking into consideration is that some schools have better facilities for specific fields of work and along with those better facilities you usually find programs and extra-curricular clubs and associations that are put in place to help get you into stronger internships or better jobs. Your failing to see the bigger picture.

A brief example. My father used to work for Ernst & Young. They didn't even consider kids coming out of UTSA unless there were additional requirments met. These for entry level jobs paying 27k a year. Starting pay and position out of certain schools were higher. There were programs out of Texas that they poached from regularly. I'm not saying its that way everywhere but sometimes certain affilations that come with certain schools can play a huge role in where you find work.

Sometimes and more than you think its not what you know its who you know.

[Shelly]

Um...doctors HAVE to go to medical school and do a residency, so I think it's safe to say they have an appropriate degree. A lot of them also become board certified in their specialty, too.

That's not to say there aren't some ty doctors out there, though.

B2B, your step-kids are very lucky to have you looking out for them

[lebomb]

Point taken. I realize that in many cases where you go doesn't play a huge role in the hiring process but it doesn't make sense to attend UTSA for a culinary degree. Not that UTSA couldn't compliment a degree from a more prestigious culinary school. The other thing you aren't taking into consideration is that some schools have better facilities for specific fields of work and along with those better facilities you usually find programs and extra-curricular clubs and associations that are put in place to help get you into stronger internships or better jobs. Your failing to see the bigger picture.

A brief example. My father used to work for Ernst & Young. They didn't even consider kids coming out of UTSA unless there were additional requirments met. These for entry level jobs paying 27k a year. Starting pay and position out of certain schools were higher. There were programs out of Texas that they poached from regularly. I'm not saying its that way everywhere but sometimes certain affilations that come with certain schools can play a huge role in where you find work.

Sometimes and more than you think its not what you know its who you know.

Yeah, I kind of misread your post at first. Anyhow, I see your point as well.....a university has to have credentials in certain areas to make them more appealing. I will say this......besides myself.....I know two people personally that graduated from Utsa and work for LARGE US companies as well and both are directors. They have entire departments and teams that work for them where the employees graduated from the Big 12 schools (including the school you mentioned .............. UT), the Pac-10 and SEC conferences to name a few. So its all relative my friend. Anyhow, have to go now........

Have a good day.

[BacktoBasics]

I just used UTSA as an example. I wasn't knocking it.

[lebomb]

I just used UTSA as an example. I wasn't knocking it.

I know......just saying. I actually agree with you on "you dont HAVE to go to college".

I was just saying a degree does open doors to fields that you may normally not be able to get into without a degree.

Anyone can open a business, that is one degree you really do not need In my opinion.......unless maybe you are trying to get into E & Y

[I. Hustle]

You gots a PHD. A PLAYA HATAS DEGREE YO! OOOOOOOOHHHHHH SNAP

[ploto]

Under most normal cir stances I would advise that step parents see their way out and let the bio's handle the kids. Thats exactly what I did for the first year and half almost two years.

I kept waking up telling myself. Self if you continue to let this dip mislead his girls and if you continue to let other people care for these kids problems you're allowing these kids to be set up for failure right before your own eyes. I was tired of waking up feeling like I was the guy driving by a car wreck without stopping. I couldn't live with myself if these kids grew up to be failures because of a broken home. So I stepped in and started leading the way. Its not as if the Father ever played a huge role in their lives. They'd see him twice a year until he started to see that I was more of a Dad than he was. This is why after trying for a year he finally found a way to move and serve in the same town as us. Its wasn't so much for the kids but more to show me up, which he's failed miserably at.

I'm not going to stand by and watch this bag up their lives for his precious ego. So far they're receptive to me because they know I'm putting them first. Hopefully they thank me later. I've never suggested that they don't have a close relationship with their dad I've just made sure to point out a better way to do things and the flaws in his logic. This way they can see its not a personal attack on their dad but more of an opportunity to make better choices because they have options.

I am sorry but I still have yet to see you mention their mother and her job to step in and do these things. I understand your wanting to help them out and be a good parent to them- especially in the absence of the father- but it still should all start with her-- her talking to her kids and her talking to him.

[BacktoBasics]

I am sorry but I still have yet to see you mention their mother and her job to step in and do these things. I understand your wanting to help them out and be a good parent to them- especially in the absence of the father- but it still should all start with her-- her talking to her kids and her talking to him.

Mom will echo my points. We work together and discuss it first then she and I usually approach the kids together. I'll expand on my thoughts or she'll do the same. There is no sense in the Mom talking to Dad. He'll just end up yelling at her and hang up then bad mouth her to the kids so I told her to quite attempting to be civil with the guy because its a waste of time. Just talk to him when its absolutely necessary.

I originally asked that the three of us meet twice a month to discuss everything going on with the kids so we are all on the same page...a united front so there wouldn't be a dad said but mom said situation. He would either not show up or turn the evening into an excuse to go off on her.

[lebomb]

Sounds like her EX is still bitter and has noway to control any part of your wifes life. That sucks.

[MannyIsGod]

of course, having a college degree in your back pocket at the ripe old age of 21 or 22 while others are still trying to figure out what they want to do isn't bad either...

You're mostly right, but what if you end up with something you hate and 60k or so in debt? And that debt is on the low side.

[lebomb]

You're mostly right, but what if you end up with something you hate and 60k or so in debt? And that debt is on the low side.

I worked and paid my way through college........going part time. Yes, it took 10yrs. But, I owed $500 when I graduated and that has been almost 15yrs ago. So, there is more than one way to skin a cat.

[MannyIsGod]

I worked and paid my way through college........going part time. Yes, it took 10yrs. But, I owed $500 when I graduated and that has been almost 15yrs ago. So, there is more than one way to skin a cat.

Absolutely. But the fact is that a lot of people are entering their early 20s with tons of debt and either not finishing school or leaving with a degree they hate. The good thing is that you can usually transition a 4 year degree you dont' like into a graduate program you do like. But thats more school and more debt.

[lebomb]

But the fact is that a lot of people are entering their early 20s with tons of debt

This is true as well........I know several people that owe over 50K in student loans. I think one is closer to 100k.

Student loans MUST be paid back. Cant get outta that whatsoever.

[tonylongoriafan]

This is true as well........I know several people that owe over 50K in student loans. I think one is closer to 100k.

Student loans MUST be paid back. Cant get outta that whatsoever.

i'm rocking 40K from grad school alone...and that's because i paid undergrad cash but what's the alternative? a new car? a house worth 40k more? it shouldn't be quid pro quo...more education more money. i was glad to go, i learned a bunch at grad school. the truth is we finance everything (look at what's happening in america) and probably nothing is more important than an education.

[BacktoBasics]

i'm rocking 40K from grad school alone...and that's because i paid undergrad cash but what's the alternative? a new car? a house worth 40k more? it shouldn't be quid pro quo...more education more money. i was glad to go, i learned a bunch at grad school. the truth is we finance everything (look at what's happening in america) and probably nothing is more important than an education.

The alternative and I'm not saying its a perfect plan for everyone because each situation is different would be to utilize that money with slightly less education and a kick ass business plan to work the self employment angle.

Most jobs that require extra education could probably be done just as easily by the guy with less education. Obviously thats not always the case but thats the alternative.

[CuckingFunt]

Absolutely. But the fact is that a lot of people are entering their early 20s with tons of debt and either not finishing school or leaving with a degree they hate. The good thing is that you can usually transition a 4 year degree you dont' like into a graduate program you do like. But thats more school and more debt.

I think part of the problem is that college has become so expensive, especially if you go private or out of state, that there's tremendous pressure to know what you want to do and work solely towards that goal. College is just a means to an end anymore. And, I'm sorry, but in the history of forever there's never been an 18-year-old who knows 100% what they want to be when they grow up. One of the best things about college is experimenting with different classes and different areas and figuring out what interests you, but at $30K/year it's really hard to justify such a lax at ude.

[BacktoBasics]

I think part of the problem is that college has become so expensive, especially if you go private or out of state, that there's tremendous pressure to know what you want to do and work solely towards that goal. College is just a means to an end anymore. And, I'm sorry, but in the history of forever there's never been an 18-year-old who knows 100% what they want to be when they grow up. One of the best things about college is experimenting with different classes and different areas and figuring out what interests you, but at $30K/year it's really hard to justify such a lax at ude.

In my opinion the reason its that way is because the purpose and at ude in HS has changed. I think lots of kids know or have an idea of at least 3 or 4 things they'd love to do but haven't got the slightest idea on how to get there. HS counseling isn't as prep as it once was and you end up with kids having what parents call "half ed ideas" about their future. So they end up enrolling with no purpose.

Silly jobs aren't so silly anymore.

Video game designers
Fashion designers
Music industry reps, artists and producers
computer geeks
wood workers and craftsmen
NASCAR fans even have their own school

kids simply have no idea how to parlay their dreams into a feasable reality.

A kid says "I love art" and parents think of that as an elective.

There are thousands of well paying jobs in the art world. Not to mention all the commercials and print ads that are done by "artists". Its all about knowing how to work the angles to achieve a goal in an industry you love.

[I. Hustle]

[CuckingFunt]

In my opinion the reason its that way is because the purpose and at ude in HS has changed. I think lots of kids know or have an idea of at least 3 or 4 things they'd love to do but haven't got the slightest idea on how to get there. HS counseling isn't as prep as it once was and you end up with kids having what parents call "half ed ideas" about their future. So they end up enrolling with no purpose.

Silly jobs aren't so silly anymore.

Video game designers
Fashion designers
Music industry reps, artists and producers
computer geeks
wood workers and craftsmen
NASCAR fans even have their own school

kids simply have no idea how to parlay their dreams into a feasable reality.

A kid says "I love art" and parents think of that as an elective.

There are thousands of well paying jobs in the art world. Not to mention all the commercials and print ads that are done by "artists". Its all about knowing how to work the angles to achieve a goal in an industry you love.

I definitely agree with that. Especially as someone pursuing an art/art history degree who constantly has to deal with the "But, how will you make money with that?" question.

My comment had more to do with the lack of life experience that a kid fresh out of high school has, though. I had no shortage of potential career ideas when I was 18, ranging from scientist to interior designer, but there should be room for change and adjustment when those ideas don't necessarily work out. Classes in fields that I thought would be interesting bored me to tears, and photography and art history, the two things about which I am now so passionate, weren't even on my radar until I was in my 20s.

Again, I absolutely agree that there should be more of an emphasis on guiding and encouraging kids to see the real life applications of whatever their interests may be. One hundred percent. But in my relatively short amount of time back on campus, I have already talked with so many 19 and 20-year-old kids who are in full crisis mode because they don't know how to break the news to their parents that psychology has become more interesting than biology. It seems to me that's a fairly recent pressure situation, as well. When I was first in college eleven years ago, practically everyone was either an undeclared major or frequently switching between ideas and it was no big deal, but that's just not the case anymore.

[Bigzax]

You're mostly right, but what if you end up with something you hate and 60k or so in debt? And that debt is on the low side.

hey i see your point clearly, i ended up with something i hate and 20K in debt...


but to me that's life and work is work. that's why they call it work.

you and b2b have solid points that anyone making substantial investments needs to do the research and make sure they know what they are getting into and investigate all options. seems like common sense. i think b2b is doing his daughters a solid by educating them.

luckily, in this day and age, just about any and every career can be researched over the internet, so i see no reason why a high school graduate with college aspirations shouldn't have a clear plan.

and of course plans go up in smoke all the time, but we adapt and adjust and keep moving forward and that makes us stronger individuals for it.

there were times i hated my degree choice, but the bottom line is that it has paid dividends and opened doors. there are tons of people working in fields not related to their degree and people change careers all the time these days...nature of the beast!

People that truly love their jobs and have true career fulfillment are relatively few and far between compared with the rest of us...you do what you gotta do to make a paycheck and pay the bills.

this is not to say you can't shoot for the dream! i say, if you have the means and the opportunity to take your time and do it right, then go for it.

otherwise? get to work you slackers!

[JoeChalupa]

Life is an education. Live and learn. Learn what you need to get you where you want to go. Have a plan is the key. You can always adapt along the way if necessary.

[jack sommerset]

Tell them go to college. Tell them to move out of SA.

[MannyIsGod]

I think part of the problem is that college has become so expensive, especially if you go private or out of state, that there's tremendous pressure to know what you want to do and work solely towards that goal. College is just a means to an end anymore. And, I'm sorry, but in the history of forever there's never been an 18-year-old who knows 100% what they want to be when they grow up. One of the best things about college is experimenting with different classes and different areas and figuring out what interests you, but at $30K/year it's really hard to justify such a lax at ude.

I just did pricing for the schools I'm looking to transfer to and I wanted to puke. If I go to UM then I'm looking at 30k a year and thats a ing state school and doesn't include living expenses. I pretty much have to rule out any non public school without some sort of free ride and right now the most likely option is A&M here in state and tution is about half of what I'd pay almost anywhere else.

[MannyIsGod]

hey i see your point clearly, i ended up with something i hate and 20K in debt...


but to me that's life and work is work. that's why they call it work.

you and b2b have solid points that anyone making substantial investments needs to do the research and make sure they know what they are getting into and investigate all options. seems like common sense. i think b2b is doing his daughters a solid by educating them.

luckily, in this day and age, just about any and every career can be researched over the internet, so i see no reason why a high school graduate with college aspirations shouldn't have a clear plan.

and of course plans go up in smoke all the time, but we adapt and adjust and keep moving forward and that makes us stronger individuals for it.

there were times i hated my degree choice, but the bottom line is that it has paid dividends and opened doors. there are tons of people working in fields not related to their degree and people change careers all the time these days...nature of the beast!

People that truly love their jobs and have true career fulfillment are relatively few and far between compared with the rest of us...you do what you gotta do to make a paycheck and pay the bills.

this is not to say you can't shoot for the dream! i say, if you have the means and the opportunity to take your time and do it right, then go for it.

otherwise? get to work you slackers!

The funny thing is that most of the jobs I've worked with the exception of non profit work and a few ty jobs here and there I've made more than I'm going to make with my degree.