can anyone top this?

[Blake]

Nope. Happened all the time. Usually my hands. They would drop in between the cushions of the couch. I had a bad habit of sticking my hands between the cushions while watching tv.

def an accident.

see, I'm thinking you were sticking something else between the cushions while watching Plyboy TV.

[CosmicCowboy]

Had a friend of mine that was banging a stripper that lived in his apartment complex. She told him that she was gonna set up a 2 on 1 with one of her stripper girlfriends...they scheduled it for Friday...The guy was totally insufferable all week bragging about it...the night came and sure enough the girlfriend showed up...they stripped him and tied him to the bedposts flat on his back...the "new" girl then stripped, poised herself right over his face...then instead of lowering herself she slid back a little and took a big dump right in the middle of his chest...jumped up, cleaned up, got dressed, and the two strippers went out partying all night and left him there tied up LOL.

[Blake]

Had a friend of mine that was banging a stripper that lived in his apartment complex. She told him that she was gonna set up a 2 on 1 with one of her stripper girlfriends...they scheduled it for Friday...The guy was totally insufferable all week bragging about it...the night came and sure enough the girlfriend showed up...they stripped him and tied him to the bedposts flat on his back...the "new" girl then stripped, poised herself right over his face...then instead of lowering herself she slid back a little and took a big dump right in the middle of his chest...jumped up, cleaned up, got dressed, and the two strippers went out partying all night and left him there tied up LOL.

.....

wow. When she told him "I'm dumping you", she really meant it.

[2Blonde]

Had a friend of mine that was banging a stripper that lived in his apartment complex. She told him that she was gonna set up a 2 on 1 with one of her stripper girlfriends...they scheduled it for Friday...The guy was totally insufferable all week bragging about it...the night came and sure enough the girlfriend showed up...they stripped him and tied him to the bedposts flat on his back...the "new" girl then stripped, poised herself right over his face...then instead of lowering herself she slid back a little and took a big dump right in the middle of his chest...jumped up, cleaned up, got dressed, and the two strippers went out partying all night and left him there tied up LOL.

Uh, I'm speechless.

[IronMexican]

Had a friend of mine that was banging a stripper that lived in his apartment complex. She told him that she was gonna set up a 2 on 1 with one of her stripper girlfriends...they scheduled it for Friday...The guy was totally insufferable all week bragging about it...the night came and sure enough the girlfriend showed up...they stripped him and tied him to the bedposts flat on his back...the "new" girl then stripped, poised herself right over his face...then instead of lowering herself she slid back a little and took a big dump right in the middle of his chest...jumped up, cleaned up, got dressed, and the two strippers went out partying all night and left him there tied up LOL.

Where can I meet these strippers? Whatever happened to the lip stick on a shirt collar? This is a lot better.

[MrChug]

I killed someone who was terminally ill once. Kinda rude.

[CosmicCowboy]

Uh, I'm speechless.

LOL

He was too. After the weekend I HAD to ask him how it went and he refused to talk about it.

I finally got him really REALLY drunk YEARS later and he fessed up.

I literally got stomach cramps from laughing so hard.

The image of him being tied to the headboard/footboard with good knots looking at a steaming turd on his chest was just TOO funny.

I never really liked the bondage stuff anyway. I'm all about reciprocity...and I was DAMN glad I didn't run up on a couple of stripper whackos like that.

[CosmicCowboy]

Apparently he pissed off stripper #1 because he made it clear he wasn't interested in matrimony and she enlisted stripper #2 for payback.

[tlongII]

Had a friend of mine that was banging a stripper that lived in his apartment complex. She told him that she was gonna set up a 2 on 1 with one of her stripper girlfriends...they scheduled it for Friday...The guy was totally insufferable all week bragging about it...the night came and sure enough the girlfriend showed up...they stripped him and tied him to the bedposts flat on his back...the "new" girl then stripped, poised herself right over his face...then instead of lowering herself she slid back a little and took a big dump right in the middle of his chest...jumped up, cleaned up, got dressed, and the two strippers went out partying all night and left him there tied up LOL.

Friend, huh? Suuuuuuuuuuuuuure...

[CosmicCowboy]

Friend, huh? Suuuuuuuuuuuuuure...

Seriously.

The dude was SO proud of himself.

Somehow I managed to make it through my life without ever banging a crack stripper and I have no regrets.

And you TLong? LOL

[mrsmaalox]

LOL

He was too. After the weekend I HAD to ask him how it went and he refused to talk about it.

I finally got him really REALLY drunk YEARS later and he fessed up.

I literally got stomach cramps from laughing so hard.

The image of him being tied to the headboard/footboard with good knots looking at a steaming turd on his chest was just TOO funny.

I never really liked the bondage stuff anyway. I'm all about reciprocity...and I was DAMN glad I didn't run up on a couple of stripper whackos like that.

Hmm, not even with silk blindfold and restraints?! And tickling with feathers?! or a little candle wax?!

[CosmicCowboy]

nope. No restraints for this cowboy.

[marini martini]

nope. No restraints for this cowboy.

You can say that again!!!!

[mrsmaalox]

Could have been one of a rodeo!

[CosmicCowboy]

LOL...I prefer a long leisurely bareback ride over a 8 second rodeo ride.

[tonylongoriafan]

this is probably the best thread ever!

[Dr. Gonzo]

I once knew a guy that drank about 20 beers in 17 hours. After being told of this incredible feat, I wondered how one can still be alive with so much alcohol in his system.

[IronMexican]

this is probably the best thread ever!

No, that goes to the guy who had that story about working in the SBC center and was taking a next to Shaq. I wish I knew where that thread was.

[Blake]

One time I hid up in the ceiling above the girls locker room in high school with a video camera

ah....the joys of being a janitor....

but why would you film yourself while hiding in the ceiling above the girls locker room?

[Blake]

No, that goes to the guy who had that story about working in the SBC center and was taking a next to Shaq. I wish I knew where that thread was.

"hey SBC Center.......tell me how my a$$ taste
hey SBC Center.......tell me how my a$$ taste

[Blake]

I once knew a guy that drank about 20 beers in 17 hours. After being told of this incredible feat, I wondered how one can still be alive with so much alcohol in his system.

I once knew a guy that ate about 20 sausage biscuit and hash brown combos from McDonalds in 17 days. After being told of this incredible feat, I wondered how I'm still alive with so much crap in my system.

[tonylongoriafan]

I once knew a guy that drank about 20 beers in 17 hours. After being told of this incredible feat, I wondered how one can still be alive with so much alcohol in his system.

i was just wondering if i were the only one who liked to getting going early and keep it going all day...wtf?

[Dr. Gonzo]

i was just wondering if i were the only one who liked to getting going early and keep it going all day...wtf?

I don't think anyone else as the balls big enough to consume such a large amount of alcohol in that period of time.

[I. Hustle]

I don't think anyone else as the balls big enough to consume such a large amount of alcohol in that period of time.

That's brass balls

[mrsmaalox]

No way!! Damn that's hardcore!