Child hangs self after bullying at school.

[desflood]

being politically correct nowadays. I don't condone violence, but sometimes words and talking it out don't work.

For instance, my wife and I took my son (4) to a local public park last weekend. There were these kids, I think brother and sister just sitting on the double slides. My son wanted to go on them. He tried the "excuse me" approach and nothing. I went over there and said out loud to him, "just ask them to move so you can have fun too". He responded, "but they're being ugly". To which the older boy(8 or 9) on the slide responded to him, without noticing me behind him, "you're ugly". And my proudest moment as a father came soon after when my son said back, "Your Mom's ugly!". I busted out laughing, and the 2 kids slid down and never came back to that side of the playground.

That's an excellent story. We had something similar with our younger son last year. Every damn day the boy (then 5) would come home and tell us, "Toby threw sand in my face" or "Toby hit me" or "Toby stepped on my hand and hurt my fingers". We spoke to the teacher twice; she never saw anything (apparently, Toby is a sneaky little bas ). One day a couple of months after it began we got a note home in the kid's folder: "(Your son) punched Toby in the face today." We told him that while normally hitting people is wrong, we were proud of him for standing up for himself.

[SpursWoman]

See also. It's not just kids.

As much as I love the interwebs, and as much time as I spend on a site like this, I really do think that the prevalence of this social networking thing has had a very detrimental effect on the way people interact in general. We have all, and this is especially true of kids young enough to have had this be a regular/automatic part of life, become so accustomed to modes of detached communication that there is almost no consideration of other people's feelings anymore. In addition to drastically altering the nature of the comments made and increasing their cruelty, it's likely also increased the number of actual bullies by providing a voice to people who would otherwise hold their tongues out of a sense of politeness.

The odd combination of anonymity and public display provided by the internet has created a crazy environment in which we see making fun of people as not only a right, but almost a duty. Everything can be explained away by the lack of human contact in the exchange, as well. If someone posts pictures for friends and family, then, hey, they were just asking for it. If someone is personally offended or hurt by comments made online, they're further ridiculed for not being able to take a joke.

[Trainwreck2100]

he had the balls to kill hisself but not the balls to stand up for hisself?

[Ed Helicopter Jones]

See also. It's not just kids.

As much as I love the interwebs, and as much time as I spend on a site like this, I really do think that the prevalence of this social networking thing has had a very detrimental effect on the way people interact in general. We have all, and this is especially true of kids young enough to have had this be a regular/automatic part of life, become so accustomed to modes of detached communication that there is almost no consideration of other people's feelings anymore. In addition to drastically altering the nature of the comments made and increasing their cruelty, it's likely also increased the number of actual bullies by providing a voice to people who would otherwise hold their tongues out of a sense of politeness.

The odd combination of anonymity and public display provided by the internet has created a crazy environment in which we see making fun of people as not only a right, but almost a duty. Everything can be explained away by the lack of human contact in the exchange, as well. If someone posts pictures for friends and family, then, hey, they were just asking for it. If someone is personally offended or hurt by comments made online, they're further ridiculed for not being able to take a joke.

Nice post.

[MiamiHeat]

And I still say you should need a license to be a parent.

You need one to drive.

You need on to fish.

But not to raise a child?

i agree.

[Bender]

so babies are government property, unless the parents have a license?

[Sec24Row7]

Actually, this particular type of bullying can be drastically reduced if we, as a society, stop teaching a concept of masculinity that encourages violence and rigid adherence to established rules and gender roles. Little boys who don't fit those roles become easy targets of other little boys feeling a need to be tough in order to prove that they do fit them.

Ummm... yeah... You go right ahead and explain to 11 year olds that they are to act like intelligent civilized human beings.

If you think that is possible, most of them are already smarter than you.

[Leetonidas]

See also. It's not just kids.

As much as I love the interwebs, and as much time as I spend on a site like this, I really do think that the prevalence of this social networking thing has had a very detrimental effect on the way people interact in general. We have all, and this is especially true of kids young enough to have had this be a regular/automatic part of life, become so accustomed to modes of detached communication that there is almost no consideration of other people's feelings anymore. In addition to drastically altering the nature of the comments made and increasing their cruelty, it's likely also increased the number of actual bullies by providing a voice to people who would otherwise hold their tongues out of a sense of politeness.

The odd combination of anonymity and public display provided by the internet has created a crazy environment in which we see making fun of people as not only a right, but almost a duty. Everything can be explained away by the lack of human contact in the exchange, as well. If someone posts pictures for friends and family, then, hey, they were just asking for it. If someone is personally offended or hurt by comments made online, they're further ridiculed for not being able to take a joke.

I agree with that CF.

MySpace started all of this bull , and it's ing turned most kids into a bunch of little pussies who act all hard on their pages and talk to each other...it's pretty depressing when you think about how much time is wasted on these ing social networking sites. Now that I'm not in high school and I can look back on the MySpace era, I'm really glad I never got too into it. After high school, no one really gets on or gives a anyway. It's pretty much become a way for kids to just vent and whine about all their little problems through blogs or bulletins or whatever. And it doesn't mean anyway because most people don't look, don't care, or just think "what a ."

I read this story this morning, and damn. It really had me thinking all day. That poor kid, he never got a chance to live. But at the same time, kids are going to be kids. There's not much that can be done about the way children act, especially towards each other. The schools just need to keep a better eye on all this. You would be surprised just how much no one ever gave a about anyone getting ragged on at Warren.

[smeagol]

he had the balls to kill hisself but not the balls to stand up for hisself?

That comment applies to all people who commit suicide.

[SpursWoman]

I agree with that CF.

MySpace started all of this bull , and it's ing turned most kids into a bunch of little pussies who act all hard on their pages and talk to each other...

So, they have girls that post pictures in their bras and maybe a few aspiring models that should probably choose another career path that post on there, too?

There sure is a lot of ing irony in this thread.

[BacktoBasics]

I need ST. I need peer approval. I have to vent here or my day is ruined. Sometimes I act tough and smart on these boards but deep down inside its my way of covering up a serious addiction to booze, pot and sex with strange women. Or maybe its my safe way to tell all you people how much I really hate you. All of you...except two or three of you. There are days where I've thought about putting on a Jackie Chan mask and mowing down the local flea market.

[SpursWoman]

We know, B2B.

[mrsmaalox]

So, they have girls that post pictures in their bras and maybe a few aspiring models that should probably choose another career path that post on there, too?

There sure is a lot of ing irony in this thread.

That's for sure. The only thing in this thread that has surprised me at all are some of the comments made by some of the "personas". A little bit of introspection goes a long way folks.

[CuckingFunt]

Ummm... yeah... You go right ahead and explain to 11 year olds that they are to act like intelligent civilized human beings.

If you think that is possible, most of them are already smarter than you.

So, then, we're supposed to allow this behavior to continue and these at udes to be encouraged because it is somehow impossible to have an impact on children? They're growing up in the world we're creating. This looks like a kid issue because of the ages involved in the story, but it's not.

There is a tremendously complex system of advantage and disadvantage in place that is entirely dependent on how well we all "fit in" to certain societal expectations. Those who don't fit in are marginalized for it. Those who don't point out that others don't fit in are equally marginalized. How many times in these forums alone have you seen one of the male posters express an opinion that is a bit different from the norm and spend the rest of the thread being called a "pussy" or a " "? In the real world, those messages are magnified. As things currently exist, being called either of those names or having one's masculinity challenged in any way can have very real and violent consequences, whether or not those accusations are true. The only reason any of that is important to kids is because it's important to us. I'm not talking about some magical hypothetical situation in which we keep everything else the same but tell kids to stop behaving in certain ways. I don't think that would be effective. I'm talking about completely redefining things in such a way that we, as adults, provide a new example to follow. They're kids. They learn from us. Cases like this aren't caused by kids being inherently cruel or hard to control. They're caused by the fact that we, collectively, are teaching some seriously ed up lessons.

[Strike]

So, then, we're supposed to allow this behavior to continue and these at udes to be encouraged because it is somehow impossible to have an impact on children? They're growing up in the world we're creating. This looks like a kid issue because of the ages involved in the story, but it's not.

There is a tremendously complex system of advantage and disadvantage in place that is entirely dependent on how well we all "fit in" to certain societal expectations. Those who don't fit in are marginalized for it. Those who don't point out that others don't fit in are equally marginalized. How many times in these forums alone have you seen one of the male posters express an opinion that is a bit different from the norm and spend the rest of the thread being called a "pussy" or a " "? In the real world, those messages are magnified. As things currently exist, being called either of those names or having one's masculinity challenged in any way can have very real and violent consequences, whether or not those accusations are true. The only reason any of that is important to kids is because it's important to us. I'm not talking about some magical hypothetical situation in which we keep everything else the same but tell kids to stop behaving in certain ways. I don't think that would be effective. I'm talking about completely redefining things in such a way that we, as adults, provide a new example to follow. They're kids. They learn from us. Cases like this aren't caused by kids being inherently cruel or hard to control. They're caused by the fact that we, collectively, are teaching some seriously ed up lessons.

+1.

The points you made are some of the many reasons why I neither have, nor want children. As ed up as I am, I'd have a hard time teaching my offspring how to be decent, functional, contributing members of society.

[desflood]

Ummm... yeah... You go right ahead and explain to 11 year olds that they are to act like intelligent civilized human beings.

If you think that is possible, most of them are already smarter than you.

There's no reason an 11-year-old cannot be an intelligent, civilized human being.

[J.T.]

Bullying ends rather quickly in the Always A Bigger Fish model. If your kid is getting bullied, the proper thing to do is purchase a realistic looking costume of a demon or the grim reaper, wait at the bully's bus stop, and then say something like "if you don't want me to eat your soul, never steal Timmy's lunch money again".

Or if you have older children, just make sure big brother keeps his pimp hand strong and then send him in for backup. It's fun going in to rescue little bro because the kids beating his ass were all tough and then scattered when I knocked that skinny Puerto Rican doosh off his bike and took back my brother's $5 plus the $20 that was in the other kids wallet. 1997 was a good year.

[mrsmaalox]

Bullying ends rather quickly in the Always A Bigger Fish model. If your kid is getting bullied, the proper thing to do is purchase a realistic looking costume of a demon or the grim reaper, wait at the bully's bus stop, and then say something like "if you don't want me to eat your soul, never steal Timmy's lunch money again".

Or if you have older children, just make sure big brother keeps his pimp hand strong and then send him in for backup. It's fun going in to rescue little bro because the kids beating his ass were all tough and then scattered when I knocked that skinny Puerto Rican doosh off his bike and took back my brother's $5 plus the $20 that was in the other kids wallet. 1997 was a good year.

It does work! My 11 yr old wasn't being bullied, but he was tired of one kid on the bus always sticking out his foot and tripping him and his friend. That little problem was resolved after 2 days of my 15 yr old, 6'3" son walking his little brother to the bus stop. Not a single word had to be spoken

[J.T.]

It does work! My 11 yr old wasn't being bullied, but he was tired of one kid on the bus always sticking out his foot and tripping him and his friend. That little problem was resolved after 2 days of my 15 yr old, 6'3" son walking his little brother to the bus stop. Not a single word had to be spoken

Yeah usually after big brother intervention, bully starts having mom drive him to school, which is a great opportunity for "who's the now?" putdowns.

[antimvp]

dude, was obviously molested by a same sex person/relative. Couldn't take that, on top of the bullying.

[E20]

One time when I was in the sixth grade, some people were just making fun of me and giving me a rough time and I don't know how but my older brother found out and he was in high school at that time. He ditched school and walked down to my school and found out who the kids were and threatened to beat the out of them if they did it again. Next thing you know the people making fun of me were my most trusted allies after that incident. lol Backup es, it's where it's at.

[Cry Havoc]

Some good posts to this thread. I especially like and agree with your views here, Cucking.

Glad to see I've stimulated this discussion. I am going to do everything I can to ensure that when I have kids, treating others decently will be right at the top of their list of priorities. And it starts from day one.

[DarkReign]

I grew up with two older brothers, I had one bully (i guess) when I was in 1st grade. He was in 5th.

Problem for him was my brother was in 6th. I told my brother about it so when the "bully" came up to me in recess in the Lower El playground (remember that?), my brother wasnt far.

Beat the ever loving out of him and made him apologize to me on his hands and knees.

Best day of my life. Needless to say, I never had another problem the rest of my life. My brother did though. My oldest brother. I just found that out a couple years ago. The he used to get put through...

I swore that if I seen the guys that used to pick on him today, I'd knock them the out and explain to them why Im doing it. Kids shouldnt be put through what he went through. Honestly, I was surprised my brother tolerated it.

Some people are just afraid to get beat up. The reason theyre afraid is because its never happened to them before. They think losing a fight is some big deal or that "it really hurts".

Newsflash for those who have never had their asses kicked: It isnt all that big of a deal. Oddly, it doesnt even hurt while its happening. Its afterword where the pain really starts and even that pain isnt that bad (unless you break something).

Ive gotten my ass kicked by multiple people (got jumped) and I have lost straight up, one-on-one fights in a bad way.

But it is FAR better to take your best shot then to let someone degrade you. , it may not even end after you get your ass kicked, they may even continue ing with you, but that chance should not preclude you from standing up for yourself and your dignity.

This is going to come off as y when its not meant to be (queue the HornTooter), but I was the kid in school who got along with everyone. Mostly hung out with the burnouts, but dated mostly cheerleaders. Bullying didnt happen around me. Ever. I dont stand for that . If you two want to throw down, throw down and get it done with. But knocking books out people's hands and generally being a bag is good cause for me and my friends to lock you in a locker in front of your girlfriend.

Lesson: Dont with people unless you want to get ed with.

[Drachen]

he had the balls to kill hisself but not the balls to stand up for hisself?

Well with one option, he only has one person to worry about, with the other he has to worry about everyone he knows. It is easier to stand up to a singular person (you), than it is to take on your entire world. I think suicide is stupid, just like the next person, but I think that at his age, damn he probably doesn't even fully comprehend what suicide is. He just knows that the pain will stop.

[Jimcs50]

Being a parent is hard. Being a parent of a child who dies is the worst thing I can imagine. My heart goes out to this family.