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Congrats to you, your daughter, and your family Joe! I'm going to be a father in October... I might need help
not having to feel disturbed knowing my daughter is/may be getting pounded...Yeah... then all you have to worry about is some girl coming to the door claiming your son knocked her up. What's the difference?
much less worrying with a son.
Congrats to you, your daughter, and your family Joe! I'm going to be a father in October... I might need help
I don't know... I don't think 'hand-holding' is especially vile
I was my wife's first steady boyfriend
15 is to young for dating. I know my wife and I will disagree when the time comes but I will fight to keep my daughter from dating until she moves out.
You reproduced? .
I don't think that's a healthy stance to take, that's the sort of thinking that makes kid run away when they are 16 and .
I like the way you acted Joe, you can have a certain trust and give the appearance of trust but at the same time be ever watchful. When dealing with the guy remember, keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
Would you worry if he was the one getting pounded?
i think you're inviting worse by trying to prevent it there. you may push her in the wrong direction, especially as a teenager.
to putting one's own insecure fear of discomfort ahead of familial sanity and the basic notion that sexuality exists.
Very true. I didn't date in high school because I knew my parents would make my life miserable at home if I did - my sister didn't care if they tried ... and lo, they did indeed make her life miserable. That worked a lot better than forbidding us from dating.
That was my thinking as well. They haven't actually gone out on a date yet unless you consider yesterday a "date". She is not allowed to wear any make-up though until 16. Sounds kind of lame at this point but for one, she doesn't need it, and two I don't like it young girls. But that is just me.
The wife and I have had our discussions as I feel she tends to be too "liberal" and is more accepting of her dating this young man. I more of a I'll deal with it but I sure as am not going to encourage or make it easy. When he comes over to talk they must always be in view, they normally talk outside and they must be in full view at all times.
The worse part is the mental images that I must deal with.
But I was "going with" girls when I was a Freshman in HS. I wasn't getting laid though.What the am I saying!?!?
Joe, to see how I really feel about this thread....I'm gonna need to see a picture of your daughter.
dude you might be controlling her too much...always have to be in view?? Come on dude...she's in high school.
I actually find that part comforting.
I don't have kids, but have sisters who are 11 and 14 years younger than me, so I definitely get the protective thing. I'd like to think that they're being smart enough to wait until they're ready, but if either of them is fooling around I would at least want it to be on their terms.
The wife and I go round and round about that. I'm a lay down the law kind of thinking. I'm not one of these..."well, if they are going to have sex I'd rather they do it at home where I know they are safe, blah, blah, blah" kind of guys. Oh no. Yeah I've heard the, "well if you are too strict you'll push them to it" argument and I can understand that. I just roll that way.
I've already made the statement, "What are going to do next...give her condoms!?!?" and she told my I going overboard.
It will be an interesting road ahead with many bumps and turns and I'm sure I'll make some bad calls but I'm sticking to my plan and will have to deal with my wife's audible's as they come. We are more in agreement than not though so we'll see.
Thanks for all the responses and good luck to all parents out there.
I think he's giving her too much room. I'd never let my daughter date as long as she was under my roof. I just don't trust guys, cause I know how we think.
And she still lives under my roof and has to abide by our rules. Like I said, I'll do what ever I can that is in my control and if they are at our house they are under my rules.
So what is next...she's having sex?..come on dude..she's in high school...everyone is doing it.
NOT!!!
I don't necessarily disagree with you as I had told her she had to be 16 before she could date but, to appease myself, I don't consider it dating...yet.
But I never really expected to have her not date until she turned 18 which is what I said years ago.
And yeah, I don't trust guys at all because I know how we think. It ain't easy..it ain't easy.
What scares me is that the "terms" for girls seem to be reached at a younger and younger age.
She already knows a few girls who are pregnant.
I find it intriguing that no one has commented on this. I am a woman with a son and despite the stereotypes, I have never felt that way. His interest is healthy and expected, and a sign he is growing up. Then again, I have never been one to get upset about the stages of development and separation. I figure if he can be confident doing them, then I have done a good job.my little girl now has her attention locked on another male and it hurt.
Oh it was never a "lay down the law" kind of thing that made us miserable - it was the hassling. My first "boyfriend" in high school called me at home one time - this was freshman year - and immediately after hanging up my mother was in my room (she had probably been listening on the other line the whole time anyway):
"What's his name? What does he look like? What kind of grades does he have? Do you have classes with him? Was he at school today? Where does he live? What are his parents' names? What do his parents do for a living?!"
So, the natural logic was: if no one calls, then Mom doesn't have to ask me five ing thousand questions. I'd rather just not mess with it. So, there are ways around just straight up rules. Although, if you appreciate your daughter actually talking to you about stuff, then I suggest not using the hassling method.
Good point but, speaking as one who was once a young man with raging hormones, my interest, while being healthy and respectful, never kept my sexual desires down. It IS part of growing up. Confidence also comes from getting laid.
But it sounds like you've done a good job.
I don't consider parenting as "hassling" but I understand what you mean. I haven't done the thousand questions thing because she's already told me how they met, what he want to study for in college, what sports he plays, what church he goes to. Which I do feel are legitimate questions for a parent to ask and I told her quite awhile back that I needed to know any boys name, address, ph#, parents names because I don't want to be one of those who has no idea who the boy is if something dreadful should ever happen.
And yeah I know there are ways around strict rules for I know almost all them. But knowing that I can also use it to my advantage.
I understand, but believe it or not most kids don't have sex when they're 15. I didn't lose my virginity til my senior year, and from my large high school class I'd say half didn't lost it at all, those that did mainly lost it senior and junior year. I just believe the focus should be on a common understanding with your daughter and education...not absolute rules, because I'm telling you people do what they want to do anyway.
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