Daily Assignment Thread: sexual Tendencies

[to21]

Actually it was late 70's. Was that supposed to be a put down?

Easy Cowboy.

[CosmicCowboy]

It has also become very trendy for school-age girls to be (or proclaim to be, anyway) bi-sexual ... I hear stories from my daughter all of the time. My guess is it's either for boys to think they are hot, or because boys don't think they are hot and are hungry for that type of attention.

I've always been turned on by F/F porn, and I can think of a couple of women I would absolutely want to do (*live* or celebrity) if I were gay, but if it ever came right down to it ... I don't know if I would go though with it. Never say never, I guess. My question would be, would it be cheating to test those waters?

My guess is that Devilboy would prefer to go wading with you.

[Crookshanks]

I've never been attracted to a woman and never been curious about it. To me, all sexuality is an abomination.

[CuckingFunt]

And, since Katy doesn't want to be the only person sharing sordid tales...

I'm 50/50, no preference, bi as bi can be, and pretty much always have been. I was very sexual from a young age, as most little kids are, and played a lot of doctor on the playground. I was never very picky in accepting patients. That playfulness and experimentation continued until I reached about 8th grade or so and sex became more of a real, fathomable idea to me. By about 13 or 14 years old, I hadn't yet lost my virginity with a boy, but I had done almost everything that could be done with another girl. Didn't realize that it was based in attraction, though, and didn't call any of what I had done "sex," but had definitely done a lot of playing around.

In high school, my experimentation with girls slowed down considerably. I never really considered myself straight, knew that I wasn't as specifically disgusted by the idea of kissing or dating another girl as my friends were (though I didn't admit that out loud), but neither did I specifically consider myself gay or bisexual. I liked boys, I dated boys, I lost my virginity to a boy in high school -- which I still consider to be my first explicitly sexual experience, despite all the fooling around I'd done when I was younger -- and bonded with my friends over crushes on boys, etc., but knew that I wasn't aligned with or cut out for the traditionally straight lifestyle. I also knew that, while I didn't have any (or wasn't aware of any) specific crushes on girls, the idea of ruling out half the population seemed unnecessarily limiting.

Things stayed that way until my freshman year of college. I was close friends with a girl in my dorms who I knew was a lesbian, even went so far as to consider her hot, but hadn't ever thought about dating or ing or pursing any kind of relationship with her until she asked to kiss me after a night out. It was at that moment that I finally realized that all of my openness and experimentation when I was younger was rooted in actual attraction and that I was bisexual. I've identified that way ever since and have pretty evenly been involved with men and women, both in various levels of relationship from one-night-stands to buddies to living together, for the past 13 years.

And, thought it's only tangentially related to the topic at hand, I've also specifically aligned myself with and considered myself part of the community for that time. It's been important to me to make it known that bisexual is what I am and always will be, regardless of who I eventually settle down with -- if I spend the rest of my life with a woman, I won't consider myself magically lesbian; if I spend the rest of my life with a man, I won't consider myself magically straight.

[CuckingFunt]

I've never been attracted to a woman and never been curious about it. To me, all sexuality is an abomination.

So is eating s fish, which is why I picket Red Lobster every weekend.

[PM5K]

And, since Katy doesn't want to be the only person sharing sordid tales...

I'm 50/50, no preference, bi as bi can be, and pretty much always have been. I was very sexual from a young age, as most little kids are, and played a lot of doctor on the playground. I was never very picky in accepting patients. That playfulness and experimentation continued until I reached about 8th grade or so and sex became more of a real, fathomable idea to me. By about 13 or 14 years old, I hadn't yet lost my virginity with a boy, but I had done almost everything that could be done with another girl. Didn't realize that it was based in attraction, though, and didn't call any of what I had done "sex," but had definitely done a lot of playing around.

In high school, my experimentation with girls slowed down considerably. I never really considered myself straight, knew that I wasn't as specifically disgusted by the idea of kissing or dating another girl as my friends were (though I didn't admit that out loud), but neither did I specifically consider myself gay or bisexual. I liked boys, I dated boys, I lost my virginity to a boy in high school -- which I still consider to be my first explicitly sexual experience, despite all the fooling around I'd done when I was younger -- and bonded with my friends over crushes on boys, etc., but knew that I wasn't aligned with or cut out for the traditionally straight lifestyle. I also knew that, while I didn't have any (or wasn't aware of any) specific crushes on girls, the idea of ruling out half the population seemed unnecessarily limiting.

Things stayed that way until my freshman year of college. I was close friends with a girl in my dorms who I knew was a lesbian, even went so far as to consider her hot, but hadn't ever thought about dating or ing or pursing any kind of relationship with her until she asked to kiss me after a night out. It was at that moment that I finally realized that all of my openness and experimentation when I was younger was rooted in actual attraction and that I was bisexual. I've identified that way ever since and have pretty evenly been involved with men and women, both in various levels of relationship from one-night-stands to buddies to living together, for the past 13 years.

And, thought it's only tangentially related to the topic at hand, I've also specifically aligned myself with and considered myself part of the community for that time. It's been important to me to make it known that bisexual is what I am and always will be, regardless of who I eventually settle down with -- if I spend the rest of my life with a woman, I won't consider myself magically lesbian; if I spend the rest of my life with a man, I won't consider myself magically straight.

You wanna get married?

[CosmicCowboy]

You wanna get married?

[CuckingFunt]

My question would be, would it be cheating to test those waters?

I've had countless conversations about this one with friends and exes.

I, personally, don't think there's any one definition of "cheating" and think it's an important thing to establish within any relationship, regardless of whether or not there will be any same-sex dabbling.

I know lots of people who have different approaches. I know couples where one person is bisexual and they don't consider same-sex encounters as cheating. I know couples where both people are bisexual and don't consider anything to be cheating as long as it's within the context of a threesome so that everyone can participate. I've had partners, especially men but not exclusively, who have not only mentioned that they would be accepting of me getting together with what they weren't, but have specifically encouraged me to do so. Good for them, but I consider it cheating, so I've never taken advantage of that loophole.

[SpursWoman]

I consider it cheating, so I've never taken advantage of that loophole.

I would have to agree with that ... I actually think that's the thought that makes me most uncomfortable about following through. Since I'm not of the school who finds any of those types of things abominable, I wouldn't find it incomprehensible that what may start out as a little experimentation could end up with a lot more feelings involved. And that'd definitely be cheating.

My guess is that Devilboy would prefer to go wading with you.

He's over 30 finally and has weathered me for 5 years now, wouldn't that call for a promotion to at least Devilman?

We do both agree, however, that while as hot as the 3-some fantasy might be, in reality neither one of us are of the opinion that those things ever turn out well.

[baseline bum]

So is eating s fish, which is why I picket Red Lobster every weekend.

[TimDunkem]

The genetic vs. environment/choice is an interesting issue.

Maybe it's both.

[CosmicCowboy]

I would have to agree with that ... I actually think that's the thought that makes me most uncomfortable about following through. Since I'm not of the school who finds any of those types of things abominable, I wouldn't find it incomprehensible that what may start out as a little experimentation could end up with a lot more feelings involved. And that'd definitely be cheating.




He's over 30 finally and has weathered me for 5 years now, wouldn't that call for a promotion to at least Devilman?

OK, darlin...I will give you that one...but that still doesn't let you off the hook for cradle robbing just because he is wearing big boy pants now...

[David Bowie]

I think that there are just as many bi or gay men as women, they just like to keep their experiences on the downlow, whereas women tend to talk or even brag about them. One of my best friends is an openly gay male. He has hooked up with several "straight" boys from his circle of friends. Nobody would ever think of these guys as gay. And all of these guys asked my friend to keep the encounters quite.

[Borat]

So the two men who tried to put rubber fist in my anus were sexual?

[sabar]

Of course it is wired, a species gains an advantage in survival that way. Individuals don't further the survival of their genetic line by being gay.

A genetic error can rewire things, but in the case of humans, free will allows people to break the rules. It also allows us to murder, lie, steal, and do things that don't favor our species.

I don't really care what someone's personal preferences are. What people do to themselves is their business alone. Likewise, what two people do amongst themselves is their business.

I have no story to share. As a male I find the male body to be repulsive. It's like the seinfeld episode where it is mentioned that the female form is beautiful and the male one utilitarian, like a tool or a jeep. Theres a moment as a child when you see a naked body and get aroused instantly. That just never happened with men, but it did with women.

While culture can affect a person to find something repulsive (such as bugs), I never really paid heed to peer pressure or the norms of the world. It all felt pre-wired, I made no choice, it came to me.

There are so many variables that discussing this never leads anywhere. Upbringing, genetics, culture, and countless other factors (was your best friend male? female? did your father abuse you? etc). Factor this in with culture splits along sex, thousands of minor genetic errors we are born with, and an unmappable human brain and we probably won't know for a few hundred years what drives this.

[Trainwreck2100]

There was a study once where they showed Women and men les/gay/straight porn. The straight guys had no reaction to the gay stuff and the women were all over the place.

I think It has alot to do with how we are wired, men usually zone into a certain type of female i think it has alot to do with how we want to spread our genes. Women (because they're s) will take it from anywhere.

[BacktoBasic's Wife]

</SPAN>

I think your experience is pretty common among women. If you're genuinely interested in the answers to some of those questions, I'm reading this book in my Sexual Diversity class right now and it has a lot of interesting information about women's sexuality and its inherent fluidity. The author, a feminist psychologist, conducted a long term empirical study of a group of women showing that the rigid categories of sexuality (straight, gay, bi, asexual) don't really work for women -- women who identify as straight often have experiences with other women, women who identify as lesbian or may guys, women who identify as bisexual may only ever date or sleep with one gender, and so on. The reasons for this are numerous, and are not exclusive to women (men are prone to fluidity as well, though to a lesser degree), but fluidity is far more common for us than certainty or rigidity.

I think that's part of it, but not necessarily because women have a broader idea of what is physically attractive. I think we are more likely than men to develop an attraction based on an emotional bond. Which is, of course, not to suggest that all women who engage in same-sex activities do so because of a deep emotional attachment (lord knows I haven't), but because it's not uncommon for women to development an attraction or a sexual relationship with someone other than what they're typically attracted to just because of an emotional connection. In my experience, a straight man can develop a very strong emotional bond with a male friend, but it is not as likely to develop into a sexual attraction or curiosity as it would in a situation with two women.

I think it also has a lot to do with what our society finds to be acceptable behavior -- women can recover from a little experimentation without a huge blow to their reputation, but men really can't.

Especially since it's always discussed in terms of a "versus." It's always oppositional. As if such a complex thing as one's sexuality could only be caused by genetics OR environment.

I can't think of any way they wouldn't both be involved. Genetics and biology may be involved in determining one's potential or predisposition towards same-sex attractions, but there are countless outside factors -- family, religion, culture, etc. -- that are involved in determining whether or not that potential will ever be expressed, or even recognized. I've always been happy enough with men that I often wonder how different my sexuality would be if I grew up in a more conservative environment than I did. Even amongst the straight members of my family, ness is pretty damned common. If that hadn't been the case, if I didn't grow up open to the possibility, I'm not sure that I ever would have noticed my attraction to women. I don't know that I would have even recognized something was missing.



There's no one right way to be gay or bisexual by which everything is measured. Just as there's no one way to be straight.

I don't doubt the possibility that celebrities who express their fluidity may be doing so for publicity, but neither do I assume it.

There's a school of thought amongst feminist theoreticians that male phobia is rooted in the hatred of the feminine. This doesn't mean the hatred of women, of course, but rather the devaluing of traditionally feminine characteristics. For a man to be intimate with another man, he is willingly adopting "feminine" characteristics, which is hugely threatening. This is why the quickest way to insult a man is to call him a pussy, or a , or a , or to otherwise question his masculinity.

It is not just participating in this behavior that is socially questionable, though. Even the tolerance of male sexuality can be a threat to one's masculinity, as part of the male performance is the explicit rejection of those feminine characteristics.

Liking/accepting two women together doesn't threaten one's masculinity. In fact, it reinforces it. Tolerating the idea of two men together, however, directly calls into question one's masculinity. Therefore, it is potentially far more damaging to be okay with the idea of two men having sex than it is to be okay with two women having sex

And, since Katy doesn't want to be the only person sharing sordid tales...

I'm 50/50, no preference, bi as bi can be, and pretty much always have been. I was very sexual from a young age, as most little kids are, and played a lot of doctor on the playground. I was never very picky in accepting patients. That playfulness and experimentation continued until I reached about 8th grade or so and sex became more of a real, fathomable idea to me. By about 13 or 14 years old, I hadn't yet lost my virginity with a boy, but I had done almost everything that could be done with another girl. Didn't realize that it was based in attraction, though, and didn't call any of what I had done "sex," but had definitely done a lot of playing around.

In high school, my experimentation with girls slowed down considerably. I never really considered myself straight, knew that I wasn't as specifically disgusted by the idea of kissing or dating another girl as my friends were (though I didn't admit that out loud), but neither did I specifically consider myself gay or bisexual. I liked boys, I dated boys, I lost my virginity to a boy in high school -- which I still consider to be my first explicitly sexual experience, despite all the fooling around I'd done when I was younger -- and bonded with my friends over crushes on boys, etc., but knew that I wasn't aligned with or cut out for the traditionally straight lifestyle. I also knew that, while I didn't have any (or wasn't aware of any) specific crushes on girls, the idea of ruling out half the population seemed unnecessarily limiting.

Things stayed that way until my freshman year of college. I was close friends with a girl in my dorms who I knew was a lesbian, even went so far as to consider her hot, but hadn't ever thought about dating or ing or pursing any kind of relationship with her until she asked to kiss me after a night out. It was at that moment that I finally realized that all of my openness and experimentation when I was younger was rooted in actual attraction and that I was bisexual. I've identified that way ever since and have pretty evenly been involved with men and women, both in various levels of relationship from one-night-stands to buddies to living together, for the past 13 years.

And, thought it's only tangentially related to the topic at hand, I've also specifically aligned myself with and considered myself part of the community for that time. It's been important to me to make it known that bisexual is what I am and always will be, regardless of who I eventually settle down with -- if I spend the rest of my life with a woman, I won't consider myself magically lesbian; if I spend the rest of my life with a man, I won't consider myself magically straight.

Dis Hombre really knows how to scan a texk book, no??? So much talkink, noting say!!! Mucho bik words wid no meeninks. Looser gay pendejo!

[CuckingFunt]

B2B's wife is Russian?

[BacktoBasic's Wife]

B2B's wife is Russian?

I be russian to knock you down!!!

[BacktoBasics]

It is not just participating in this behavior that is socially questionable, though. Even the tolerance of male sexuality can be a threat to one's masculinity, as part of the male performance is the explicit rejection of those feminine characteristics.

Liking/accepting two women together doesn't threaten one's masculinity. In fact, it reinforces it. Tolerating the idea of two men together, however, directly calls into question one's masculinity. Therefore, it is potentially far more damaging to be okay with the idea of two men having sex than it is to be okay with two women having sex

So if somewhere along the line of sexuality had our society viewed male on male relations as masculine then we'd see a lot more experimental men?

You're basically saying that attraction and desire aside the driving force behind less male sexual behavior stems from the fact that its a blow to our masculinity.

[MannyIsGod]

Jesus Christ Katy I can't believe you went there on Spurstalk.

[Tits McGee]

Jesus Christ Katy I can't believe you went there on Spurstalk.

Does the term "attention " strike a chord?

[katyon6th]

Jesus Christ Katy I can't believe you went there on Spurstalk.

Too personal?

I honestly don't see what the big deal is.

[katyon6th]

Does the term "attention " strike a chord?

I'm really hoping I'm awarded Attention of the week. Great way to end the month.

[tlongIII]

WOW! Reading some of the stuff on here made my privates do weird things.