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I slept with my friends mom once........then a couple of years later I slept with his sister!
Its weird when Im around his family now.
When I was 11, I went through a similar phase, except it wasn't my closet, it was my parents clothes drawer.
When I was 3, church services ended and as usual everyone headed outside to socialize. I proceeded to pull down my pants and started urinating on the church lawn, in front of everyone.
I slept with my friends mom once........then a couple of years later I slept with his sister!
Its weird when Im around his family now.
I masturbated too hard watching The Dark Knight and hit the person in front of me in the back of the head.
i hit a bee hive with a shovel, and while i was running and tripped into this huge pile of ants. worst day ever
Seriously, what the is wrong with you people?
Stayed out for 14 hours on St. Patrick's Day.
Which led to...
Sleeping with a married woman in her kids racecar bed while her husband slept downstairs.
Don't you just love St. Patty's Day?
Back in the room mate days I drank way too much one night got up to take the old 3am piss only to go into my roomies closet and piss. He was like WTF happened in my closet it smells like piss blamed it on his cat. I never told him.
There are so many stupid stories that I've forgotten.
Getting my head wedged in a pull down attic ladder with my feet off the floor, eating a bran muffin and drinking a 32 oz. coffee before hitting morning rush hour on 696, drinking beer out of a 5 gallon bucket, leaving a party and making the 3 hour drive to Cedar Point at 2:30 AM (doesn't open 'til 10), etc.
But the I usually beat myself up over is entering into situations when I have a pretty good idea the outcome isn't in my favor. Usually involves the other gender. So stupid and yet I do it over and over again. Damn vaginas.
I'll also stick with a poop story.
I was a freshman playing on the varsity golf team in high school and this one senior used to always talk , even though I beat him regularly. A few friends and I were high as driving around when one says he's got to . We pull over near the movie theaters and he s behind some bushes. As he finishes he spots the seniors car in the movie parking lot, obviously on a date with his girlfriend. My friend scoops his up with a cd case and we casually walk over to his car, a two door accord. The poop is split evenly and applied underneath each door handle and then wiped clean. We saw him at golf practice the next day, he didn't say .
I snorted a line of pixie sticks in the 8th grade, i highly reccomend it.
Once in 7th grade, after class I bolted for the bathroom because I needed to take a major & piss. I run in and go to the first toilet and am about to start the piss when I can't get my underwear down. I'm trying to get it down cause I know the piss is coming, and the moment I get it down, I'm pissing at full speed. When I'm almost done pissing, I notice I didn't pick up my shirt and have been pissing on it the whole time. I finish my business and haul ass to the gym lockers so I can switch my shirt with the shirt I usually wear for gym, covering my shirt with my backpack on the way over there. I switch shirts, throw the pissy one in the gym showers, get back to the next class on time, and avoid a lifetime of embarrassment.And that was my least favorite shirt too, so it was kind of a plus.
I got my friend evicted from his apartment after he had just lived there for a week. I was drunk & had to piss. And his girlfriend was in the bathroom. So, I whipped it out & started to pee off the balcony (3rd floor), just in time for me to piss all over him.
that story doesnt make sense
I stole some chocolate candy from a pharmacy when I was 6 (it was those chocolate laxative bars) and ate it, got the runs, went back to the store and stole another one a week later and got the runs again. Went back a third time after figuring out what it was and decided that God was pissed at me for stealing and paid for the laxatives that I had stole. Then bought another one.
Honestly, I would probably do it again. Those things tasted great.
My friends and I were going to the beach one day, and I was taunting them in the car with some particularly nasty gas. Well, one fart became wet, so I had to jump out of the car and wipe my ass with toilet paper right there on the street in front of hundreds of people at Redondo Beach. Needless to say, we decided to go about a mile further down to park.
Last year, I had gone to some dude's birthday party at this bad ass property up in north Austin. Took somewhere between 15 and 20 hits of acid before going out there. Ended up at some apartment where my friend, who was driving, decided he was too ed up to drive home and we were given the host's permission to spend the night and leave in the morning. Being as this was a Saturday night during football season and spending the night there meant I was going to miss the Colts game the next day, I would not have this. One of the dudes in my group was leaving to continue partying, so I ran down the stairs to catch them before they left to see if I could get a ride back to San Marcos. They said I could, but I'd have to ride in the trunk of their Mustang since they already had a full house.
Talk about decisions you instantly regret.
So I climb into the trunk of this Mustang and am pretty much forced into the fetal position. The driver starts it up and starts playing Zeppelin at max volume with a speaker right next to my head. So far so good. We're only going from north Austin to around 37th or some like that so the drive should take no more than fifteen minutes. Everything goes pretty smoothly until they get onto the highway and start speeding. And I'm not talking about 80 in a 70. More like 120 in a 70. Possibly faster. I was always more of a Camaro guy so I don't know what a Mustang tops out at. I knew they were speeding but rationalized that my sense of how fast things were going was ed up by my position in the vehicle relative to where it usually is when I'm in a vehicle, and the drugs I was on.
About the second I realize these fools are going way too fast, I start banging on the back seat from inside the trunk trying to get their attention. Didn't work. Music was too loud and they were all on MDMA anyway, including the driver. But the fun doesn't stop there. A minute or so later the dude bumps against the median twice, which triggers the 'fear for your life' reflex and I start freaking out and realizing that if they get into any kind of accident, I'm dying a painful death by about 17 fatal wounds all at the same time. I was able to calm myself down in there and ride it out until we got to where we were going. But got damn if that wasn't the dumbest thing I've ever done in my life.
The trunk??I would have to be on something uncut straight from Panama to get in someones trunk. I hate getting into elevators much less someone's trunk.
damn JT, that's crazy...
Is bigzak that same person as bigzax??
yes, i'm bipolar and have different personalities that creep up from time to time...
Hm. For some reason, I don't believe you. Have we ever ran into eachother out in public before? If so, where?
The real big Zak would know this.
You're making a big mistake that a lot of women make - assuming that a man, any man, will remember meeting you. Their memories are generally not that good.
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