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  1. #1
    I Aint Got No Job Gutter92's Avatar
    Name
    Ed Induh Gutter
    Location
    Illinois
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    2,007
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    San Antonio Spurs
    So, as some of you know (because I detailed the experience here), about 3 weeks ago, I had a "run in" with a girl. I'm gonna skip to the important part, gonna leave out some details.

    Today, she texted me telling me she is pregnant. I am 95% sure that the baby isn't mine since I used a condom, and she said she was on the pill (bull ).

    What should I do from here? Go with what she says? Ask her to take a paternity test (or w/e its called, to see if im the father)?

    I'm definitely not ready to be a father. What should I do? Am I gonna have to tell my parents about this? Should I suggest abortion (it is confidential, right? I mean, if she goes to an abortion clinic, they won't ask many questions will they?)

    Advice needed, serious advice only please, none of that "shoulda wrapped it up" or w/e, because I did wear a condom.

  2. #2
    LMAO koriwhat's Avatar
    Post Count
    41,642
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    San Antonio Spurs
    MAURY in 9 months!

  3. #3
    I Aint Got No Job Gutter92's Avatar
    Name
    Ed Induh Gutter
    Location
    Illinois
    Post Count
    2,007
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    MAURY in 9 months!
    Sorry, what?

  4. #4
    LMAO koriwhat's Avatar
    Post Count
    41,642
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    San Antonio Spurs
    serious? hahaha!

  5. #5
    All Hail the Legatron The Reckoning's Avatar
    Location
    Australia
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    10,568
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    San Antonio Spurs
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    Texas Longhorns
    dont be silly wrap your willy

  6. #6
    Scrumtrulescent
    Post Count
    9,724
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    Texas A&M Aggies
    Just tell her you don't think the kid is yours, but if it comes out knowing linguistics that you'll be too busy at the Univ of Illinois to be a father.

  7. #7
    Spur-taaaa TDMVPDPOY's Avatar
    Post Count
    41,384
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    San Antonio Spurs
    Falcon punch, u master da skill yet?

  8. #8
    No darkness Cry Havoc's Avatar
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    Bay Area, CA
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    33,683
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    Just put your hands on her shoulders and press really hard. If you do it quickly enough, the baby will pop out and she will need clearance from NASA.

  9. #9
    LMAO koriwhat's Avatar
    Post Count
    41,642
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    Just put your hands on her shoulders and press really hard. If you do it quickly enough, the baby will pop out and she will need clearance from NASA.
    or the baby will pop out, put its hands on gutter's shoulders and lift him, then gutter will do the same to the baby and eventually they'll both be in space. nasa will get involved soon after.

  10. #10
    e^(i*pi) + 1 = 0 MannyIsGod's Avatar
    Location
    Hell
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    Texas A&M Aggies
    :rofl

  11. #11
    Veteran Wild Cobra's Avatar
    Location
    Portland, OR
    Post Count
    43,117
    NBA Team
    Portland Trailblazers
    College
    Oregon Ducks
    Today, she texted me telling me she is pregnant. I am 95% sure that the baby isn't mine since I used a condom, and she said she was on the pill (bull ).
    Could be a perfect example of the false sense of security the schools tell kids about birth control.
    What should I do from here? Go with what she says? Ask her to take a paternity test (or w/e its called, to see if im the father)?
    Man up with whatever she decides.
    I'm definitely not ready to be a father. What should I do? Am I gonna have to tell my parents about this? Should I suggest abortion (it is confidential, right? I mean, if she goes to an abortion clinic, they won't ask many questions will they?)
    Don't suggest abortion. If you have a soul, it may haunt you for the rest of your life if she does.
    Advice needed, serious advice only please, none of that "shoulda wrapped it up" or w/e, because I did wear a condom.
    Like I said. Man up. If she chooses to have the child, get the paternity test. Pay child support, and try to be a good father. Don't ask for it now. I don't know about today, but in the past, a paternity test isn't completely safe for the unborn child.

  12. #12
    Master of Information Dr. Gonzo's Avatar
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    8,678
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    TAMU-CC Islanders
    Obvious troll is obvious.

  13. #13
    LMAO koriwhat's Avatar
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    WC taking the bait hahaha

  14. #14
    俺はまんこが大好きなんだよ baseline bum's Avatar
    Post Count
    97,883
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    UCLA Bruins
    Abortion is the only way to go. We can't take that 5% chance that you passed on DNA.

  15. #15
    Runrunrunawaybaby ashbeeigh's Avatar
    Location
    SA
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    USC Trojans
    At least NORCAL was semi entertaining. Gutter is not.

  16. #16
    00 06 12 13 20 21 32 44 5 bus driver's Avatar
    Location
    Here
    Post Count
    2,920
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    College
    Notre Dame Fighting Irish
    So, as some of you know (because I detailed the experience here), about 3 weeks ago, I had a "run in" with a girl. I'm gonna skip to the important part, gonna leave out some details.

    Today, she texted me telling me she is pregnant. I am 95% sure that the baby isn't mine since I used a condom, and she said she was on the pill (bull ).

    What should I do from here? Go with what she says? Ask her to take a paternity test (or w/e its called, to see if im the father)?

    I'm definitely not ready to be a father. What should I do? Am I gonna have to tell my parents about this? Should I suggest abortion (it is confidential, right? I mean, if she goes to an abortion clinic, they won't ask many questions will they?)

    Advice needed, serious advice only please, none of that "shoulda wrapped it up" or w/e, because I did wear a condom.

  17. #17
    I heart 2Blonde PakiDan's Avatar
    Location
    a house.
    Post Count
    3,022
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    or the baby will pop out, put its hands on gutter's shoulders and lift him, then gutter will do the same to the baby and eventually they'll both be in space. nasa will get involved soon after.
    Hilarious!!

  18. #18
    I Aint Got No Job Gutter92's Avatar
    Name
    Ed Induh Gutter
    Location
    Illinois
    Post Count
    2,007
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    Abortion is the only way to go. We can't take that 5% chance that you passed on DNA.
    Are you re ed? If its a boy it gets 100% of my DNA as only I can pass on the Y chromosome...a girl would get half, unless the mom gives both X's

  19. #19
    All Hail the Legatron The Reckoning's Avatar
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    Australia
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    Texas Longhorns
    reaching...

  20. #20
    Motivation for me... Stringer_Bell's Avatar
    Location
    The Free World
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    4,270
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    San Antonio Spurs
    Advice needed, serious advice only please, none of that "shoulda wrapped it up" or w/e, because I did wear a condom.
    Sure thing. Don't smoosh a with a condom that you wouldn't smoosh without a condom. Always ask yourself, "If this carries my seed, do I want her to give birth to it." If the answer is no, then don't .

  21. #21
    Veteran Wild Cobra's Avatar
    Location
    Portland, OR
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    43,117
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    Portland Trailblazers
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    Oregon Ducks
    WC taking the bait hahaha
    Whatever.

  22. #22
    Veteran Wild Cobra's Avatar
    Location
    Portland, OR
    Post Count
    43,117
    NBA Team
    Portland Trailblazers
    College
    Oregon Ducks
    Abortion is the only way to go. We can't take that 5% chance that you passed on DNA.
    Might be the best answer!

  23. #23
    Veteran Wild Cobra's Avatar
    Location
    Portland, OR
    Post Count
    43,117
    NBA Team
    Portland Trailblazers
    College
    Oregon Ducks
    Sure thing. Don't smoosh a with a condom that you wouldn't smoosh without a condom. Always ask yourself, "If this carries my seed, do I want her to give birth to it." If the answer is no, then don't .
    Very sound advice.

  24. #24
    I Aint Got No Job Gutter92's Avatar
    Name
    Ed Induh Gutter
    Location
    Illinois
    Post Count
    2,007
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    Sure thing. Don't smoosh a with a condom that you wouldn't smoosh without a condom. Always ask yourself, "If this carries my seed, do I want her to give birth to it." If the answer is no, then don't .
    If you remember, I said I liked this girl, she was really nice and everything. I just didn't expect her to end up pregnant, which is why I wore a condom. Turns out she was either lying about being on the pill (is it still possible to get pregnant while using the pill? like a low % chance?) or it isn't mine.

  25. #25
    Knowledge Is Hassle Fpoonsie's Avatar
    Location
    Denton, TX
    Post Count
    9,674
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    College
    Texas A&M Aggies
    Abortion is the only way to go. We can't take that 5% chance that you passed on DNA.

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