no in' doubt!
no in' doubt!
Sorry to hear that, man.
Hope you get through this rough patch and can bounce back soon. Sometimes a bunch of stuff piles up and it seems insurmountable, but you have to keep fighting and you'll get over the hump.
Your life doesn't sound as bad as the 4 year old toddler that got run over by an ice cream truck in our town the other week. Little guy never even had the opportunity to experience the pain of loss which is arguably worse. Someone out there always has it worse. You should take solace in that fact.
And as for dealing with problems in general my father always told me this -
If there aren't any solutions to your problems, there's no point in crying over them/letting them consume you.
If there are solutions to your problems, spend some time every day crafting and working towards said solutions. Crying in this case is merely a waste of time.
It's really a win-win situation. If there are no solutions to your problems, then there's rationally no point in being depressed about it. If there are solutions to your problems, then there's rationally no point in wasting any time crying over them. Spend time carefully and methodically determining what you can do to solve said problems and work towards that goal.
There's only one girl I've ever loved in my life. We had been childhood friends growing up. We formally dated through high school and through most of college (7 years). One night (while on a trip to Vegas) I found out she had cheated on me, and instead of confronting her about it immediately I started drinking heavily while we were out with some mutual friends. In a drunken range I lost it and just started verbally harassing her to the point where she was in tears. I didn't just break up with her, I gave her the verbal thrashing of her life apparently - much of which I don't even remember. I really drank myself into a rage that night.
After being friends from kindergarten and after having been with her for so long, we completely shut off contact with each other after that night (our flights home were early the following morning). I haven't spoken to her or heard from her in 2 years come March 19, 2011. Haven't been interested in any girl since. Haven't even dated any girl since. Haven't had a sip of alcohol since that night, albeit I never was a heavy drinker.
Point is - don't do what I did. You never want to leave on those kinds of terms with a woman. It'll fester and eat at your soul. Not a day goes by that I wish I'd handled that situation differently.
This woman asked for something back - respond courteously, respond politely, but at the same time don't ever harbor any fantasies of getting back with her. That's yet another mistake I made and, my friends might argue, it's a mistake I'm still making to this day. It's pathetic. Don't be pathetic like me. Good luck man.
Welcome to the findog saga......
February's just a couple weeks away, man...time to get back out there.
Hi Fin,
I always seem to experience the same problem as you. All the bad events seem to come at the same time and it can seemingly overwhelm you if you let it. Just remember to take it all one day at a time, otherwise you can go crazy just thinking about it all. You can't deal with Friday, until you take on Thursday. Cheesy ass cliche, but it will definitely help.
Funny how the team someone roots for changes everything
If this was a Spurfan, Bump would be pestering/copy and pasting the guy til he committed suicide
read the thread.
honestly, she is the worst kind of flake,,,,,,,the kind that does not seem to be a flake.
stick your chest out, take it on the chin, and even if it kills you, smile when she last looks at you walking away, then be born again.
i wouldn't even reply to her stupid in' email... that !
you ain't got no storage fee money = i ain't got your bike
This genuinely angers me, tbh..you'll bounce back though, Fin..we all act tough and hard on the outside, but when it comes to females, all bets are off..
I'm going to be pleasant and courteous even though it kills me on the inside. I can't let on how much I've hurt.
My head knows I'm better off. My heart is another story. Hate having to start over. I know people drift apart and fall out of love, but to do quickly go from "I love you, I want to marry you, this is the best r/l I've ever been in" and be sincere, to wanting me out of your life, that is not normal or healthy. She had a lot of wonderful qualities for me to fall in love with her, but it hurts to have to look at somebody you loved so deeply in a new and less flattering light, and mourn the loss of who you thought she was.
Oh I've felt a lot of anger. I didn't mistreat her, and the feedback throughout our time together was "you're the one, etc." so what should I have done differently? She definitely flakes out and freaked out on me.
hey atleast she didn't lie to the cops and tell them you beat her over and over again just because you(me) told her you didn't want her no longer because she's a cheat.
at least you weren't close to being thrown in jail for absolutely nothing.
you live and you learn man... tomorrow is always just around the corner and life goes on, change is inevitable.
It's difficult to have a contrast to this that would lessen your grief. Only your own demise at this point would provide such a "relief." You've been touched and no amount of rationalizing is going to grant you absolution here. Listening to us demonize her won't do the trick either. She's not a monster. She just rejected you. Her humanity only makes it that much more difficult.
koriwhat, you'e such a got, no one wants your trailerpark Joey mann advice.
iggy, you're a and there ain't no denying it. there's no doubt in my mind you've been sheltered enough by your family that you think you have balls enough to call others out on the net behind your monitor. grow up mother er and stop spamming homeboys thread already just cause you hold some sort of immature internet grudge against me.
Findog;
Sorry about your losses...but...
You are looking at this the wrong way...
The last 3 months have been one of a test..but they were a great opportunity to show what you are made of...and you are still here, still standing-so to speak.
Give yourself some credit...you haven't been defeated...you survived and will continue to do so.
You lived a lifetime....BEFORE...you met this girl...and there is a LIFETIME ahead for you....WITHOUT this girl.
How was it possible that you lived your life so well BEFORE even meeting this girl....simple;
because ...
WE COME INTO THIS WORLD ALONE AND WE LEAVE ALONE.
She is not one of the main items on the list for your survival...she is someone who entered your life...taught you something...and it is up to you now to take that lesson and move on.
There will be others...and someday you will look back on this and think to yourself...``I am so glad she did what she did because it allowed me to move on in my life and accomplish.....A,B,C,D,etc.... and it allowed me to meet and fall in love again with (new girl -X) someone new and be happier than I ever would have been with her.''
This was not the final nail in the coffin..this was just an opportunity for some closure....but beware...you should NOT even be there when she picks it up...trust me...she is a DRUG that you CANNOT handle right now...and it would not be surprising at all if she has another agenda....(like messing with your heart again). Who needs a in' bike anyway-it is nothing but a pretext for the real reason.
Do the smart thing and tell her you are busy and tell her to grab the item and then just avoid her---otherwise she may reel you right back in...
You are 3 months into a COLD TURKEY program...and this could set you back again....
DO YOU want to have to start all over cold turkey again AFTER she lets you down again...because she has proven to be a snake and she will not turn into a trustworthy person because you fantasize her being trustworthy and place her on a pedestal again...
You are a smart guy...think it over and avoid her for your own good.
As far as the home life...maybe you need to getaway solo for awhile...leave home and family and go out and have yourself an adventure or two...you ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE for taking care and trying to deal with an alcoholic parent...it is not in your power to fix....
get on the road and find yourself while you are young...be like KEROUAC for awhile...hit the road and live....nothing is stopping you from living---EXCEPT your readiness to accept defeat and allow things and people to kill your spirit...
sometimes...
you gotta just say---FUK IT!
AND
go out into the in' wild...walk the earth and live off the fat of the in land and find some adventure and transport yourself into a better place...put on a brand new mind....develop a taste for the new and you will discover a very exciting world out there....
Do it.
Silverblk,
You are right. My friend actually has the bike, not me. I asked him to handle it and he didn't want to. I just hope she keeps it brief and on the bike only. She already has a bike, this is her backup bike.
Perhaps its a ruse to come back, Fin.
I really doubt it. If that were the case, she would not be borrowing her moms van to retrieve it.
Yeah, that's not good.
Well, its only right that you not farm the return out to others. Look eye, don't reproach and perhaps flog the log a half-hour before arrival. It'll mellow you out. Either that, or, stick your finger down your throat. A gag reflex is a great stress breaker.
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