Do your teens have a school night bedtime?

[SpursWoman]

Awww !!! IS THAT WHY I AM SO SHORT!!!

Yes, it's definitely because you didn't get enough sleep as a teenager.

[JoeChalupa]

No I've never had to enforce a bedtime with my kids. While my kids were asking to be tucked in at 7pm, my brother was just gearing up for the 5 hour battle ahead Even now as teens, I never say anything about bedtime and my house is quiet by 11 on weeknights, maybe a bit later on weekends. Mornings are not a struggle, I don't have to do wake up calls for anyone. They all have tvs/computers/phones in their rooms but there's never been a video game or tv show that is interesting enough to them to lose sleep over. My brother on the hand has the "common area only" tv/computer rule and he's in a constant battle with his teen boys about them and bedtime. So I guess it's just depends on the kids' personalities.

Joe I think if your daughter is responsible and a good student, there is no problem in letting her control her own bedtime. She's safe and in your house, which is the most important thing

Like I said...words of wisdom. I've never had an issue with bedtime with my youngest as she's always put herself to sleep because she knows if she doesn't get her sleep she is cranky in the mornings and I do have to get her up. Where as my oldest has no problems getting up in the mornings and I can't remember the last time she had a bad moring so for her she can do ok with less sleep. I guess I just never looked at it that way even though I've stated that you even have to parent each child a little differently. Don't know how I missed that.

[JudynTX]

Joe,

Will she have a curfew when she starts driving?

[TDMVPDPOY]

post pics of daughers 16+

[JoeChalupa]

Joe,

Will she have a curfew when she starts driving?

She is going to take driver's ed this summer. Her driving late at night scares the caca out of me.

[ALVAREZ6]

My oldest will turn 17 on the 24th and was just wondering what other parents do. I like to have her in bed by 11pm and she says that none of her friends go to bed that early so she blew up last night saying my rules are outdated and suck major ass. I agree with her
Am I am prude for a parent? Yes
She wants her teenage freedom to be able to have facebook and talk to her friends late into the night like they can do. When I checked the cell phone records I see many calls late at night or early in the morning on school nights so I called her out on that and she says all her friends don't have cell phone curfews.
Am I being over protective? Yes
Last night she said she wanted to live with my SIL since she doesn't have stupid rules like we do. I don't want that to happen so should I ease up and get with the times?? You probably should...she's 17 for 's sake. If she doesn't get enough sleep during the school night, it's she who suffers the consequences, if any, and she who can decide to change the pattern if she deems necessary. What's her curfew on weekends, 10PM?

[ALVAREZ6]

That is pretty much the way we do it. Start telling her at 10:30 to wrap it up by 11. Last night I knocked on her door at 11:05 and she was still typing away on her laptop and yapping on the phone. So I told her to hang up and got the "in a few minutes" and I said "NOW!" which upset her since she couldn't say her proper buh-byes. And she also shut down a web page asap when I opened the door so I mentioned that too. She blew a gasket and went on and on about the rules and how all her friends have so much more freedom than she does and of course I came back with "I don't care about what your friends do" and it went back and forth then she said she wanted to leave and live with her aunt. My SIL works two jobs so she is not at home that much and her kids, IMO, are too loose with their mouths and actions.
She told me I need to trust her and that she is not having sex or doing drugs or drinking etc. so I should giver her more freedoms.
She is an A-B student and does good so after thinking it over I think I'm going to lighten up a bit because I sure don't want to push her out yet she knows I don't do the "friend" thing when it comes to parenting.
Oh the horrah!!!

Bro, you need to stop being overly protective. NEWS FLASH: your daughter, like any son or daughter ever born, is going to do what she truly wants to do regardless of what you say and may even lie to you about those worries you have, especially if you're extremely protective and have unnecessarily strict rules. I know tons of kids with extremely protective, religious parents, and believe me, they all do their nutjob parents wouldn't conform with, like have more than a sip or two of alcohol. You're just propping her up to go wild during her first year in college if that's where she's headed.

I think we've talked about this issue a while back before. Open communication is more effective vs. extremely strict, no questioning authoritarian parenting

[ALVAREZ6]

I don't have kids that age, but 11pm to midnight during the week and 1am on the weekends seems reasonable to me.

...CROFL you old hags are going nuts just like Greggory. CROFL bedtimes for seniors in high school. F'ing 17. CROFL bedtimes for any kid in high school period for that matter, especially on the weekend. You guys are nuts.

[ALVAREZ6]

i'm just trying to avoid having a jersey shore, mean girl, foul mouthed, skanky dressed daughter. But perhaps I"m going about it all wrong. We do talk quite a bit and have lunch together at least once a month to hash things out but I think it is the rules that is causing havoc.

Agree on all that, but that has nothing to do with bed times. Getting to bed early isn't going to influence whether or not your daughter dresses like a skank . I don't blame her for coming off as mean and fouled-mouthed at times, I'd do the same if I had those re ed ass rules so you should actually lighten up if you want her respect.

[desflood]

...CROFL you old hags are going nuts just like Greggory. CROFL bedtimes for seniors in high school. F'ing 17. CROFL bedtimes for any kid in high school period for that matter, especially on the weekend. You guys are nuts.

We just try to steer our kids in the right direction so they don't end up as stupid 20-year-olds who say things like CROFL in public forums. No parent wants that for their child. Do your parents know you present yourself as an idiot to hundreds of strangers every day?

[MannyIsGod]

If I had had a bedtime in high school how could I have stayed up late to watch Star Trek TNG and then listen to Art Bell scare the out of me afterwards?

Oh and if there had been a west coast Spurs game on then forget me sleeping early.

[ALVAREZ6]

We just try to steer our kids in the right direction so they don't end up as stupid 20-year-olds who say things like CROFL in public forums. No parent wants that for their child. Do your parents know you present yourself as an idiot to hundreds of strangers every day?

lol @ believing there is any real significance to my forum life. I think my parents (if they knew), unlike you, understand what things to take with a grain of salt and how to look at the grand scheme of things. I believe my parents' parenting actually worked out quite well and are rather proud of their son who has a 3.80 GPA while double-majoring at a respectable university and will very likely have a job upon graduation (not to mention I could graduate half a semester early, so, 2 majors in 3.5 years, but have decided not to in order to have a more relaxed senior year and to take advantage of the great apartment I am locked in with for another year). It could be worse, or average. I could be a drug dealer attending and dropping out of community college, but instead am making the best use of the share of funds my parents provide me with. So, I think they would gladly accept the reality which includes the above along with the terrible downside of saying stupid things like CROFL on an internet forum, where nothing really matters, vs. the other possible scenarios.


I don't think they care what the anonymous online strangers think, to answer your question.

[Sense]

We just try to steer our kids in the right direction so they don't end up as stupid 20-year-olds who say things like CROFL in public forums. No parent wants that for their child. Do your parents know you present yourself as an idiot to hundreds of strangers every day?

Insult him all you want... He's right.

I was always the good kid.. A's and B's at school, but my parents didn't know I was in a gang and doing drugs and drinking alcohol.. I kept it secret, but nothing was going to stop me from all that crap.. I learned later on...


It's inevitable for any parent to stop their teenager from doing what they want to do.. call it rebellion or whatever, but at that age.. they will do what they want to do.

[ALVAREZ6]

Rule: NO SEX ALLOWED, I BETTER NOT CATCH YOU HAVING SEX!

Daughter: OK jack ass, it'll just have to happen at his house, or somewhere shady like in a car in a parking lot at night or side of the road. Have fun changing my hormones, end of the day I want that . Which is perfectly normal because I am a female human.


Anyone see the rule as problematic????? Education is the way. That is all.

[Gutter92]

I'd say relax on the bedtime thing...if shes in your house, who cares what time she goes to bed at? She's the one that will be getting up in the morning for school/work, and I'd tell her as long as her grades don't suffer, she can stay up til whenever she wants.

[desflood]

I think my parents (if they knew), unlike you, understand what things to take with a grain of salt and how to look at the grand scheme of things.
I don't think they care what the anonymous online strangers think, to answer your question.

I simply urge you to be careful of what you say - it's a very easy thing to slip up once, say the wrong thing to the wrong person once, and hurt for it for a very long time. In your grand scheme, much damage can be caused by a few improper or incorrect words.

It's inevitable for any parent to stop their teenager from doing what they want to do.. call it rebellion or whatever, but at that age.. they will do what they want to do.

Of course it is. I sure as did as a teen, despite my parents teaching me what they thought was "the right way".

[ALVAREZ6]

I simply urge you to be careful of what you say - it's a very easy thing to slip up once, say the wrong thing to the wrong person once, and hurt for it for a very long time. In your grand scheme, much damage can be caused by a few improper or incorrect words.

Ok. Thanks for the advice.

[Bukefal]

It seems nowadays there are no bedtimes for kids anymore. So its not you, its just times have changed. And she is 17 so, I agree with the poster who said above; cut her a little more slack

[DMC]

We just try to steer our kids in the right direction so they don't end up as stupid 20-year-olds who say things like CROFL in public forums. No parent wants that for their child. Do your parents know you present yourself as an idiot to hundreds of strangers every day?

I think they used him to make money when he was a kid. He was like the monkey and they were the organ grinder....

[Kyle Orton]

I have extremely over protective parents who still even have a curfew for me when I'm visiting home (which is stupid given I could just as easily be at school and not have a curfew at all), and even I no longer had a bed time by age 15. If she's getting good grades, don't see unnecessary rules.

[Kyle Orton]

We just try to steer our kids in the right direction so they don't end up as stupid 20-year-olds who say things like CROFL in public forums. No parent wants that for their child. Do your parents know you present yourself as an idiot to hundreds of strangers every day?

Tbh, I think my parents would be more ashamed of me if I enjoyed watching two sweaty men in spandex role around in a cage.

[ALVAREZ6]

I think they used him to make money when he was a kid. He was like the monkey and they were the organ grinder....

This post is humorous

[desflood]

Tbh, I think my parents would be more ashamed of me if I enjoyed watching two sweaty men in spandex role around in a cage.

As would mine, which is why I never watch pro wrestling.

[ploto]

I have extremely over protective parents who still even have a curfew for me when I'm visiting home (which is stupid given I could just as easily be at school and not have a curfew at all...

You realize your parents probably do not go to sleep until after you get home, so it only makes sense that someone as mature as you are would have consideration for the people with whom he is living.

If his daughter wants to show her maturity and ability to make choices, then she should be able to come to him in a mature manner with a discussion about how she has shown her ability to be responsible as opposed to telling him he sucks ass and threatening to move in with her aunt. The permission to have her own opinions does not mean that she has permission to express them in a disrespectful manner.

[Wild Cobra]

I just read the first few posts. However my suggestion is let her have some freedom as long as she maintains acceptable grades. Make it a condition with set standards. If you try to maintain too tight of control, you increase the chances of her rebelling, and being worse off. Just point out how tired she can be and let yourself have those "see I told you so" moments. Without guidance, and the freedom to see the wisdom of guidance first hand, I believe you do more harm.