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If we still practiced Eugenics in this country then most of these questions would be answered.
You're asking for monetary support from your ex? The state should be requiring her to pay you ~20% of her total income, maybe more if it's 2 kids. $400 a month doesnt seem like near the amount she should be paying you. Is she legally the non-custodial parent of both children?
If we still practiced Eugenics in this country then most of these questions would be answered.
If he is her ex and doesnt have any parental rights, what is she doing still talki g to him? Hopefully she isnt also loaning him this money hes begging for. What a low life.
My SIL's ex pays exactly zero child support for their kid, who is still young enough to be in diapers. On top of that, HE occasionally asks HER for money - for the energy bill he "forgot" to pay, for the groceries he "hasn't bought yet", etc. She's flat broke and trying to get through classes for job training - he spends every non-working minute sitting on his behind drinking and playing video games. That guy's such an asshole.
I think it should be. I call it Child Abuse. That is, unless the father is such a piece of , he should already be in jail.
I would say the government should be able to enforce such an arrangement if it keeps the family out of the government coffers.
As long as the father tries to be a father, well, happens. I took the intent of the OP to mean those who think of their offspring as a burden. Notice he said "absent fathers."
I say, man up. Take responsibility for your actions, or you are a piece of s who doesn't deserve to be part of society.
You see, here's the thing. I talked about raising kids by myself and needing some support to pay all of my bills, right? And I talked about needing to tune up my car because gas is expensive and it's mileage is dropping, but it wasn't an extravagant amount, just a little more than I can afford at the moment.
So where in all of my post does it say I can afford a lawyer? That's the problem. Until I can save up enough to get a lawyer to do what needs to be done, all I can go on is what I can get from her.
When I get a lawyer, you bet your ass I'm going to milk her for every dime I can get. I'd be less pissed off if she actually showed more commitment and sacrifice for her kids. As I've told my friends, I wasn't like this. I'm a VERY forgiving person who has given her many chances (double digits) to do the right thing by her kids and be more involved. She made me like this when she refused to sacrifice any part of her personal life to be more involved.
So for now I get what I can with the hopes that either she'll shape up and be a better mother, or I can lawyer up and get everything I need to raise the kids on my own.
(See, even in that last statement, I showed that I'm still offering her a chance to make it better.)
It's complicated. For me, I'd do anything for my kids. And if they wanted to see their mom or talk to her, and it made them happy, I'd do it, despite how I feel about her.
There may be more to the story, and that could be a part of it.
The court system is beyond ed up when it comes to the father being the legal guardian.
That much I do know.
The fact that there isnt some national database for this and that parents can simply disappear and not be 'found' because they move to another state is re ed.
Government at its most wasteful finest though.
My ex still does not get that I never had to say a word. Our child figured it out all on his own. I will never forget the day he told me-- "Mom, when you first got divorced, I wanted you and dad to get back together. Every kid wants their family together. But it did not take me long to see that we were both better off without him here, and I never wanted you to get back with him ever again." Sad, but true.
Yiu obviously want her back, but if she is being a selfish then you are waaaaay better off without her, accept it now and yiu'll be better off.
So, seeing as how she is a major selfish , call a lawyer, tell them the situation, that is going to owe you thousands in back support. That would coverthe lawyer expenses alone. All the dumbass lawyer has to do is draft the papers. God i hate lawyers, they arent worth near what they charge.
Especially divorce lawyers. Divorce lawyers are basically the gutter rats of the legal community. They push their clients buttons as much as possible to spark anger at his/her ex, which causes the divorce to drag out longer so the lawyer has more billable hours, but in exchange makes it a worse process for the parents but also the kids because of how much the kids have to hear from one parent how much he/she hates the other.
Eh... I love my SIL, but to be honest she's one of those people who has a really hard time letting go of relationships, even the bad ones. Problem is, he knows this about her also. He strings her along and gets what he wants and it gives her the hope that they might get back together. Hopefully that never happens - they were a disaster together. It's all right though - I learned just this afternoon that he will have to begin paying his child support, or the state will come for him. Ha ha, pig.
making it illegal to have a kid and not be there for it as a father figure/mother stop stupid teenagers and/or deadbeats from making the decision to have unprotected sex and father a child in the first place.
this is how i could see it working:
if you father or mother a child and don't want to raise, you go to jail. i don't know for how long, but you go to jail. but not just any jail. it's a jail, or correctional facility that is specifically made for dads and moms who don't have the tools to raise a child. in this facility they are "corrected" and they gain those tools and after a certain amount of time and parental development if they show they have been corrected, they can go back with daughter or son.
if for some reason, even after a long time, the person has not learned in this jail or correctional facility or whatever you want to call it, they can still leave. like if say after somewhere b/w 3-4 years there he/she hasn't "grown up", they can leave. BUT if they make the same mistake again and have a kid with someone else and aren't there for it again, they get life in prison.
exactly. i don't understand why we as a society agree with the current way of doing this things, or child support. why is a sum of money sufficient compensation. that's just an absolute injustice to the fatherless kid.
I am the custodial Parent of my two girls after my divorce. Since then the ex has become a sinking ship and is past due almost $5,000. She wont even buy them a bday/x-mas/ etc card let alone see them. I'm stomping that ass though. She went to jail once and looking for more jail time if she does't come up w/ $1,300 next month. Sad thing is that they aren't even five years old. She would rather date a registered sex offender than be a mother, but its whatever.
is forcing people to live together one of them small gov't, libertarian principles I've been hearing about?
lol there's other ass to slam TBH
how many hours of parent/kid time a week/month/year would be ok for you in order to keep mom/dad out of jail?
Dumbest ing idea I have ever heard.
RG said it best, more cost to the taxpayer with non-violent offenders filling an already bloated prison system.
Youre never going to stop people from ing and having unwanted children. Making the activity illegal will be less effective than drugs being illegal.
Moreover, who the are you moral police to decide whats right and what isnt? Mind your ing business, tools.
ing moral legislation, the bane of American existence.
Child support is enforced (at least supposedly) but visitation is not. I had to explain that to a friend who did not understand that the dad does not have to come get the kid, he just has the right to do so.
-as far as the nonviolent offender part... well it's a shame and i think drug legalization (ie for pot) would go a long way to helping that problem. but that's a topic for another day.
-it's not a comparable situation to drugs. you can hide drugs, and the people who know you do drugs often enable you and might even do them with you. there are easy ways to evade the law in the case of drugs. father a child and aren't there for it though? then you've got a whole different situation. a lot of people who'd turn you in. it would be much harder to hide from the law.
-as for all that other you said in the last paragraph about moral legislation... there's something seriously wrong with our society if it thinks money is an apt subs ute for a father. it's a shame you don't hold that opinion and arent compelled to do anything about it. accountability is important to me.
LOL
Yea lock up the parents that will teach them everything they need to know ...
I can't believe how much some people owe for support. I know it doesn't make sense to lock them up but damn. That just shows the kids that you don't have to pay and can get away with it. Garnish them wages!!
They have to actually work and have reportable income for that to happen.
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