Why Men Need Marriage

[cantthinkofanything]

Proverbs 21:19
Proverbs 19:13
"A foolish child is a father’s ruin, and a quarrelsome wife is like the constant dripping of a leaky roof."

Nothing that a hammer can't fix.

[Findog]

Damn, Fin! That's brutal.

Yeah, my parents have been together for 36 years, probably will never get divorced, but by any measure their marriage is a failure. It just hasn't ended yet. I DO NOT want that kind of marriage for my future. You just don't know what the future has in store for you. Most people get married after a courtship of 1-3 years. It's impossible to completely know a person and how they will respond to the commitment of marriage. It's not a continuation of dating dynamics, even if there are no kids involved.

My cousin probably should have known better. He's in his early thirties like me. He met his ex-wife when they were around the age of 25. By that time she had two kids by two different men, and the paternity of the second kid wasn't fully known. He adopted that second kid, they had another one together, then he got a vasectomy. She got pregnant again. The doctor told him he might have some live swimmers left, so he assumed that one was his. So then she gets a job as a traveling salesperson selling insurance that requires her to be out of the house on weekends. They were having financial problems, so finally he starts wondering why she's not actually making money "selling insurance." He finds a diary of hers last June. Turns out that for a year she was leaving their home in southwest Ft. Worth and going all the way out to Plano to play house with this dude she met on the internet that had a kid of his own. And she was pregnant by this guy. Five kids by four and maybe five different men. His parents have had some of their savings wiped out paying his divorce bills.

[mavs>spurs]

As a finance major with a 4.0 and future financial analyst, I must inform you all that marriage is a TERRIBLE investment it adds no value. I repeat NEGATIVE RETURN ON INVESTMENT.

[Findog]

As a finance major with a 4.0 and future financial analyst, I must inform you all that marriage is a TERRIBLE investment it adds no value. I repeat NEGATIVE RETURN ON INVESTMENT.

Can a prenup protect you in the event a woman files for divorce?

[mavs>spurs]

nope in most cases it's meaningless..judge looks at you laughs and bends you over anyway.

[DUNCANownsKOBE]

Can a prenup protect you in the event a woman files for divorce?

yeah but you need a good lawyer to be drawing it up.

[mavs>spurs]

^^this. not all prenups are created equally. all too often i see people getting screwed regardless.

[Findog]

^^this. not all prenups are created equally. all too often i see people getting screwed regardless.

Seems to me that if you do take the plunge of marriage, as a man you must insist on a good prenup, not to rape her out of her assets, but to protect yours and your rights to co-parent your children. No way would I ever want to only get to see my kids every other weekend.

[mavs>spurs]

yeah that's true, but in order to get one that holds up in court you have to spend a bare minimum of 10k...plus 20 or 30k for a wedding in many cases..cmon bro is it really worth it? if a really loves you she won't need all that cohabitation 4tw imho.

[DUNCANownsKOBE]

Seems to me that if you do take the plunge of marriage, as a man you must insist on a good prenup, not to rape her out of her assets, but to protect yours and your rights to co-parent your children. No way would I ever want to only get to see my kids every other weekend.

I'm not even sure if custody can be a part of the prenup (doubt it can be). It's not as bad as it used to be with favoring women but it's still ridiculous.

[Summers]

I think the pastor's view of adulthood and marriage is oversimplified and silly, but, dang, y'all are some grizzled cynical men. Marriage is like anything else: you get out of it what you put in. If you choose wisely and communicate honestly and view your marriage as something that deserves your commitment and maintenance, it works. I won't speak for my husband... You can ask him yourselves.

[Viva Las Espuelas]

Yeah, my parents have been together for 36 years, probably will never get divorced, but by any measure their marriage is a failure. It just hasn't ended yet. I DO NOT want that kind of marriage for my future. You just don't know what the future has in store for you. Most people get married after a courtship of 1-3 years. It's impossible to completely know a person and how they will respond to the commitment of marriage. It's not a continuation of dating dynamics, even if there are no kids involved.

My cousin probably should have known better. He's in his early thirties like me. He met his ex-wife when they were around the age of 25. By that time she had two kids by two different men, and the paternity of the second kid wasn't fully known. He adopted that second kid, they had another one together, then he got a vasectomy. She got pregnant again. The doctor told him he might have some live swimmers left, so he assumed that one was his. So then she gets a job as a traveling salesperson selling insurance that requires her to be out of the house on weekends. They were having financial problems, so finally he starts wondering why she's not actually making money "selling insurance." He finds a diary of hers last June. Turns out that for a year she was leaving their home in southwest Ft. Worth and going all the way out to Plano to play house with this dude she met on the internet that had a kid of his own. And she was pregnant by this guy. Five kids by four and maybe five different men. His parents have had some of their savings wiped out paying his divorce bills.

Damn, Fin! Now that's crazy. Two kids with two separate dudes and only one known dad would've had me out of there. I can't imagine how he felt when he found that diary. I'd have definitely seen red. I hope he didn't hang on to her much longer after that. I'd have gotten my kid then gotten out of it as soon as possible.

[mavs>spurs]

I think the pastor's view of adulthood and marriage is oversimplified and silly, but, dang, y'all are some grizzled cynical men. Marriage is like anything else: you get out of it what you put in. If you choose wisely and communicate honestly and view your marriage as something that deserves your commitment and maintenance, it works. I won't speak for my husband... You can ask him yourselves.

no, you're either delusional or the last of a dying breed, if you're really as good as you say you are and things are that great. aren't you the one who thought that cheating was okay in a marriage? cmon dude.

[Summers]

no, you're either delusional or the last of a dying breed, if you're really as good as you say you are and things are that great. aren't you the one who thought that cheating was okay in a marriage? cmon dude.

I'm not a dude, dude. I think lying and cheating in a marriage are terrible things.

[Findog]

no, you're either delusional or the last of a dying breed, if you're really as good as you say you are and things are that great. aren't you the one who thought that cheating was okay in a marriage? cmon dude.

You can be a good partner to somebody and still end up with them leaving you. That's not cynicism, there's good people out there belonging to both genders, but it's naive to think that you have ultimate control over the relationship continuing. You're only responsible and have control over your fifty percent of the relationship.

[mavs>spurs]

Odd that wasn't your position a while back, but good if you really think as such. The thing is, without being specific or trying to insult you, you're part of a different generation than us younger guys today. Marriage is dying out fast along with morals, people don't give a about anything for more than 5 seconds anymore, much less enough to make a marriage work. It's just a dumb losing proposition.

[mavs>spurs]

You can be a good partner to somebody and still end up with them leaving you. That's not cynicism, there's good people out there belonging to both genders, but it's naive to think that you have ultimate control over the relationship continuing. You're only responsible and have control over your fifty percent of the relationship.

agreed, been there done that. which is why i refuse to put all my effort and life on the line for somethign i can't even control.

[Summers]

women today suck, i can't imagine why anyone would sign their financial livelihood away to be backstabbed

don't love em, don't cuff em, don't trust em, just em

And let me make a simple observation. Human relationships, like every other species on the planet, comes down to female choice. It's why males are bigger and prettier--because women choose their mates. If you want a nice woman to choose you, you have to be nice.

[benefactor]

And let me make a simple observation. Human relationships, like every other species on the planet, comes down to female choice. It's why males are bigger and prettier--because women choose their mates. If you want a nice woman to choose you, you have to be nice.

Hmm...doesn't this work both ways though?

[mavs>spurs]

it's not that simple. like findog said, you can do everything in your power and be a great partner but it in no way ensures anything. I've seen wayyyy too many cases in my personal life where friends and people i know got screwed in the most random and worst ways. i don't even have a fishing buddy anymore because my friend found out his fiance, whom he had been with for 10 years, cheated on him bc "he fishes too much ." now the dude doesn't even want to fish anymore, and his life is pretty much wrecked.

get this, there are now huge dating sites out there for MARRIED people. millions of married users log on each day to find some random stranger on the internet to go off and have sex with. we are talking high traffic sites with literally millions of users.

[Viva Las Espuelas]

And let me make a simple observation. Human relationships, like every other species on the planet, comes down to female choice. It's why males are bigger and prettier--because women choose their mates. If you want a nice woman to choose you, you have to be nice.

I wouldn't waste time or energy oh him.

[DeadlyDynasty]

If you want a nice woman to choose you, you have to be nice.

This is complete bull .

[DUNCANownsKOBE]

This is complete bull .

yeah I cracked up when I saw that

[Viva Las Espuelas]

See what you did, Fin?
So what brought this on?

[mavs>spurs]

it's also pretty sad whenever many of my friends have ed married women. i don't understand that, why take the oath if you're just going to make an ass out of yourself.