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  1. #26
    Alleged Michigander ChumpDumper's Avatar
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    That might explain why he's always sniffing up my ass.
    What explains your explicit desire to have sexual relations with two men at once?

  2. #27
    Controversy Koolaid_Man's Avatar
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    Imma do this for you Chump..these es wanna on yo face...man they serious as ...sing it with me Chump - lol


  3. #28
    Alleged Michigander ChumpDumper's Avatar
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    Hey Chumpy... let me ask you a question. If you gave me a blow job... does that make me gay?
    Your actively soliciting blowjobs from multiple men makes you gay.

  4. #29
    Controversy Koolaid_Man's Avatar
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    Check dez white guls out Chump:


  5. #30
    Banned Stalin's Avatar
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    Your actively soliciting blowjobs from multiple men makes you gay.

  6. #31
    Alleged Michigander ChumpDumper's Avatar
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    You want two guys to suck your .

  7. #32
    Grab 'em by the pussy Splits's Avatar
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    I barely knew Christine when she turned up at my door at around eight o'clock on the night of Halloween. We'd met for the first and only time three months earlier when my two roommates and I signed the lease on our apartment: Christine's aunt owned the place we were moving into, and she happened to be up from Delaware visiting at the time. But we'd only spent about five minutes together that day and we hadn't spoken much, and I hadn't thought of her since.
    Yet here she was standing outside my door with a friend. And both of them were pretty tipsy.

    She asked if she and her friend could come inside our apartment to change into their costumes. She couldn't change at her aunt's place, she said, because she was sleeping and she didn't want to wake her up. Would we mind if she used our bathroom instead?

    It was a pretty strange request. Sure, weird stuff happens on Halloween, but I barely knew her, and it isn't every day that someone shows up at your front door and asks to change into their ladybug costume. But I told her it was fine and she was welcome to use our place to get ready.

    It really didn't take very long for Christine to make her move. She'd grabbed my hand on the way from the apartment to South Street, so I can't say I was totally surprised when she leaned in to kiss me soon after we arrived at the bar.

    I could tell when we first met that Christine was older than me. I was 25, and although I never asked her age, I'd have guessed she was in her early 30s. It was only recently that I found out her real age and learned she was in her late 30s when we hooked up. There's a 14-year gap between us, but she looks good for her age. I don't think I'd heard the word "cougar" yet at that point, but that's probably what I'd call her.

    Aggressive is another word I'd use to describe her. At the bar, she confessed to me that her aunt really hadn't been sleeping. She hadn't even gone to her apartment to check, she said. She had remembered me from our five-minute meeting the previous summer, and used the story about her aunt as an excuse to knock on my door. She'd set her sights on me from the beginning.

    Christine was pretty intense, and she was pretty outspoken that night, but we didn't talk politics much. Her aunt had told me that Christine ran for Senate a year earlier and had lost, so I knew a bit about her background. But the most political she got that night was when she said she attended lots of events in Washington that attracted congressmen and senators. "It would be nice to have a good-looking young man to attend those with me," she added.

    We'd probably knocked back five Heinekens when Christine leaned over and whispered in my ear that she wanted to go back to my place. Before we could go, though, she told me to ask her friend if she'd mind if I drove Christine home later that evening. That was odd. I guess Christine didn't want to come across as a in her friend's eyes for going home with me, so she wanted me to bring it up her friend first.

    I did what I was told and asked her friend if she had any objection to me hanging out with Christine a little longer provided I took her home later on in the evening. She didn't, and a few minutes after that, we were all headed back to my apartment. Christine's friend got in her car and went home. My roommate went to his bedroom and went to sleep. And Christine and I got cozy on the couch and popped open another beer.

    Things got physical on the couch pretty quickly. It wasn't long before we'd moved from the living room to my bed.

    I won't get into the nitty gritty details of what happened between the sheets that evening. But I will say that it wasn't half as exciting as I'd been hoping it would be. Christine was a decent kisser, but as soon as soon as her clothes came off and she was naked in my bed, Christine informed me that she was a virgin.

    "You've got to be kidding," I said. She didn't explain at the time that she was a "born-again virgin." She made it seem like she'd never had sex in her life, which seemed pretty improbable for a woman her age. And she made it clear that she was planning on staying a virgin that night. But there were signs that she wasn't very experienced sexually. When her underwear came off, I immediately noticed that the waxing trend had completely passed her by.

    Obviously, that was a big turnoff, and I quickly lost interest. I said goodnight, rolled over, and went to sleep. It was almost four o'clock in the morning. I had to get up at 6:30 to go to work.

    Christine wasn't in the best of shape when my alarm clock went off three hours later. I was hungover and exhausted and we'd both had about the same amount to drink, so I'm guessing she was feeling even worse. I got up and started to get dressed and told Christine she'd need to get up, too. But she clearly didn't want to budge, and even after I'd reminded her a few times, she was still under the covers. Did she think I was going to leave for work and let her sleep in my bed?

    When she finally did get up and dressed and we got in the car, Christine couldn't remember exactly where her friend lived. We circled around for about 20 minutes before we found it, and I dropped her off in the parking lot next to her car, as she asked me to. We said goodbye and exchanged phone numbers and email addresses. But there wasn't a whole lot of back and forth. I didn't even try to give her a kiss goodbye.

    I wasn't planning on contacting Christine after our night together. Things hadn't gone so great—especially the part that took place in my bedroom—and I didn't see any reason to try and see her again. But two or three days later, she emailed me to ask me if I wanted to hang out again. I made an excuse. But she didn't take a hint and emailed or called a few more times over the next couple of weeks before I was forced to make it clear to her that I wasn't interested.

    Things worked out for the best, though. A few weeks later, Christine started dating my roommate. They went out for over a year, and it was a little awkward the first few times Christine came over to visit him at our apartment and we all had to make conversation in the living room. But that passed pretty quickly. And in case you're wondering, he never had sex with her either, as far as I know.

  8. #33
    Kang Trill Clinton's Avatar
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    Luva's Intro To Frangelica


    This was a few years back. Me and my lil Dominican ex went to the Pasadena Jazz Fest and the ho's was on me tough that day. It was just one of those good days that I have too often. Afterwards we went to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner and I was in her ear spitting that "ism" something cold that night. I'm on like my third Tuaca on the rocks and she whispers... "I wanna you right now." Now keep in mind I'm the type of cat that don't need no foreplay at all... so I get hard on command. I pulled her hand over and gave her more than a handful and she had this look on her face like " it." Before I know it she slithered down beneath the table and start bobbing on a up in the Cheesecake Factory. Now peep this... the sexy as waitress comes back and tells me they are all our of Tuaca and offers to bring me her favorite drink... Frangelica... in a flirty kind of way. She had no idea I was getting head and I had no idea what Frangelica was. When she brings the drink back she's asks, "was that your lady?" I don't say , but just give her that "eye ing look" like, yeah, but I love to cheat. Playas know what I'm talking about.

    That waitress slides me her number on the low all while she thought my lady was at the pisser and and me drinking some Frangelica getting head at the Cheesecake Factory. It was just my day.

  9. #34
    The Dude minds DPG21920's Avatar
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    Trill, you's a simp a** dude now

  10. #35
    Controversy Koolaid_Man's Avatar
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    Trill, you's a simp a** dude now
    no he's not he just recognize game...Stop trying to get him to play with you gots

  11. #36
    Alleged Michigander ChumpDumper's Avatar
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    no he's not he just recognize game...Stop trying to get him to play with you gots
    What do you recognize in luva's wanting to engage in sex acts with multiple men?

  12. #37
    Allenhu Joshbar DeadlyDynasty's Avatar
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    Just when you thought it couldn't get worse than Naruto and imaginary African vacations, this fool breaks out the cheesecake factory

  13. #38
    Controversy Koolaid_Man's Avatar
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    What do you recognize in luva's wanting to engage in sex acts with multiple men?
    I recognize you being the "catcher in the eye"

  14. #39
    The Dude minds DPG21920's Avatar
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    Just when you thought it couldn't get worse than Naruto and imaginary African vacations, this fool breaks out the cheesecake factory

  15. #40
    Kang Trill Clinton's Avatar
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    Trill, you's a simp a** dude now
    Huh?

  16. #41
    The Dude minds DPG21920's Avatar
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    ya heard me patna

  17. #42
    Kang Trill Clinton's Avatar
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    Yea imma need u to explain where you're coming from pleigh boy.

  18. #43
    Controversy Koolaid_Man's Avatar
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    Yea imma need u to explain where you're coming from pleigh boy.

    Let me explain for you...He's like really pissed because you laughed at Luva's Cheescake Factory story...

    It seems you've betrayed the Spurs with your emoticon

  19. #44
    Kang Trill Clinton's Avatar
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    Let me explain for you...He's like really pissed because you laughed at Luva's Cheescake Factory story...

    It seems you've betrayed the Spurs with your emoticon
    Nah, that cant be it.

  20. #45
    Controversy Koolaid_Man's Avatar
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    Nah, that cant be it.

    He's also mad that you don't appreciate white racism ...I'm telling you dawg your midget homeboy is foul

  21. #46
    Believe. lakaluva's mom's Avatar
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    Luva's Intro To Frangelica


    This was a few years back. Me and my lil Dominican ex went to the Pasadena Jazz Fest and the ho's was on me tough that day. It was just one of those good days that I have too often. Afterwards we went to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner and I was in her ear spitting that "ism" something cold that night. I'm on like my third Tuaca on the rocks and she whispers... "I wanna you right now." Now keep in mind I'm the type of cat that don't need no foreplay at all... so I get hard on command. I pulled her hand over and gave her more than a handful and she had this look on her face like " it." Before I know it she slithered down beneath the table and start bobbing on a up in the Cheesecake Factory. Now peep this... the sexy as waitress comes back and tells me they are all our of Tuaca and offers to bring me her favorite drink... Frangelica... in a flirty kind of way. She had no idea I was getting head and I had no idea what Frangelica was. When she brings the drink back she's asks, "was that your lady?" I don't say , but just give her that "eye ing look" like, yeah, but I love to cheat. Playas know what I'm talking about.

    That waitress slides me her number on the low all while she thought my lady was at the pisser and and me drinking some Frangelica getting head at the Cheesecake Factory. It was just my day.
    I see you left out the fact that "Frangelica" cost $68.72, was lifeless and took three weeks to come by mail? The funniest part of it all was you didn't even use an air pump to blow her up.

  22. #47
    The Dude minds DPG21920's Avatar
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    Nah, that cant be it.
    You bandwagoning on Kool late like a mark a** trick a** punk a** busta!

  23. #48
    Controversy Koolaid_Man's Avatar
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    BTW that lady wasn't masturbating she's pregnant and was rubbing her lower stomach just above her pussy

  24. #49
    Alleged Michigander ChumpDumper's Avatar
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    I recognize you being the "catcher in the eye"
    luva wants to perform sex acts with two men.

    He's your boy.

  25. #50
    Got Woke? DMC's Avatar
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    Pay attention, fat fingers. I've never ordered the drink nor do I care how its spelled. I'm not.surprised at all that you know so much about a drink. though.
    "When she brings the drink back she's asks, "was that your lady?"" -Atif

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