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  1. #1
    Bernoullin' niggas! BUMP's Avatar
    Post Count
    9,328
    NBA Team
    Dallas Mavericks
    College
    Texas Tech Red Raiders
    I don't know about you guys but nothing gets my OG mudbone-size hard like showing fools what's up in pickup basketball.

    First of all, when I show up, I play. If there's already a game going on, I just go 1 on 10 and beat up the whole court. Once that easy task is over with, it's time to shoot for captains. Well actually, it's time for me to show off in front of the ladies. While everyone's taking lame-ass beta 3 pointers, I tell the cucks underneath the basket to get the out of the way while I practice my freestyle dunks. We don't start the shooting for captain's process until I've done about 100 of these in a row, usually takes about 2 hours. On my last dunk, I just pick some whiteboy to stand under the rim and teabag him. Then I suckerpunch him while he's on the ground then throw him in the dumpster.

    Now of course, I'm always first captain. Even if I'm not the first one to make it, I usually just beat up first captain and take his spot anyway. After that, I pick four times in a row and have the most stacked team on the court. I know it's illegal but guess what.......I don't give two flying s. So of course my team always wins. We run the court from sun up to sun up the next day.....and sometimes sun up the day after that.

    As for my style of play, I'm a cross between Tony parker quickness, Derrick Rose athleticism, Steve Nash shooting ability, and Larry ing Legend clutchness. I once took a game winning three, got a quickie from the nearest groupie, and came in her mouth before it hit bottom. We won the game of course, only because I decided it to be that close. It's usually a skunker, Suns-Spurs 2010 style. 99% of the time the other team gets ravaged worse than Katie-girl's balloon knot after walking down a dark alley

  2. #2
    Larry is a faggot Edward's Avatar
    Post Count
    1,454
    NBA Team
    Phoenix Suns
    College
    Notre Dame Fighting Irish
    I once took a game winning three, got a quickie from the nearest groupie, and came in her mouth before it hit bottom.
    lol quick ejaculation

  3. #3
    above average height mavs>spurs's Avatar
    Post Count
    9,772
    NBA Team
    Dallas Mavericks
    last time me and BUMP hooped he and his linebacker friends just beat up the opposing team in the paint and grabbed every rebound. after the game we dumped gatorade on the losing utd asian team, gave them wedgies and hung them from the rim by their underwear. then we ed their girlfriends and left them the gift that keeps on giving..children that their own tiny asian penises were too small to conceive anyway. now those gooks will never forget that ass whooping imho.

  4. #4
    Banned
    Name
    D-Steve
    Location
    Oak Cliff
    Post Count
    5,870
    NBA Team
    Dallas Mavericks
    College
    Texas A&M Aggies

  5. #5
    Banned CubanSucks's Avatar
    Location
    Texas
    Post Count
    7,139
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    do people still find this funny? I liked the first ALPHA thread (pretty sure it was by someone else) but making one every day is getting pretty old. I don't even read them cause I'm not too big of a fan of those long winded copy pasta stories

  6. #6
    Veteran Wild Cobra's Avatar
    Location
    Portland, OR
    Post Count
    43,117
    NBA Team
    Portland Trailblazers
    College
    Oregon Ducks
    do people still find this funny? I liked the first ALPHA thread (pretty sure it was by someone else) but making one every day is getting pretty old. I don't even read them cause I'm not too big of a fan of those long winded copy pasta stories
    I think the 3rd graders and adolescent losers do. I personally think it's pretty pathetic.

  7. #7
    5 Bill_Brasky's Avatar
    Post Count
    11,220
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    College
    Texas Tech Red Raiders
    Good , not quite as creative as the last one but I chuckled.

  8. #8
    above average height mavs>spurs's Avatar
    Post Count
    9,772
    NBA Team
    Dallas Mavericks
    do people still find this funny? I liked the first ALPHA thread (pretty sure it was by someone else) but making one every day is getting pretty old. I don't even read them cause I'm not too big of a fan of those long winded copy pasta stories
    I think the 3rd graders and adolescent losers do. I personally think it's pretty pathetic.
    you guys are obviously beta.

  9. #9
    Veteran Wild Cobra's Avatar
    Location
    Portland, OR
    Post Count
    43,117
    NBA Team
    Portland Trailblazers
    College
    Oregon Ducks
    Good , not quite as creative as the last one but I chuckled.
    You must have a very demented personality.

  10. #10
    Larry is a faggot Edward's Avatar
    Post Count
    1,454
    NBA Team
    Phoenix Suns
    College
    Notre Dame Fighting Irish
    Sounds like Wild Cobra and CubanSucks don't like doing things THE ALPHA WAY

  11. #11
    Banned CubanSucks's Avatar
    Location
    Texas
    Post Count
    7,139
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    you guys are obviously beta.
    Maybe.
    Maybe not.
    Maybe yourself.

  12. #12
    Veteran Wild Cobra's Avatar
    Location
    Portland, OR
    Post Count
    43,117
    NBA Team
    Portland Trailblazers
    College
    Oregon Ducks
    Sounds like Wild Cobra and CubanSucks don't like doing things THE ALPHA WAY
    LOL...

    If that's someones demented perception of an alpha, then I think we need to find a padded room for them.

  13. #13
    above average height mavs>spurs's Avatar
    Post Count
    9,772
    NBA Team
    Dallas Mavericks
    maybe that wasn't very funny

  14. #14
    5 Bill_Brasky's Avatar
    Post Count
    11,220
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    College
    Texas Tech Red Raiders
    You must have a very demented personality.
    Yup.

    Not my fault you're a beta bro.

  15. #15
    Veteran Wild Cobra's Avatar
    Location
    Portland, OR
    Post Count
    43,117
    NBA Team
    Portland Trailblazers
    College
    Oregon Ducks
    Yup.

    Not my fault you're a beta bro.
    I stand up to wanna-be-alphas. They are such a joke.

  16. #16
    Larry is a faggot Edward's Avatar
    Post Count
    1,454
    NBA Team
    Phoenix Suns
    College
    Notre Dame Fighting Irish
    Thinking that doing things THE ALPHA WAY is demented means you're a beta.

  17. #17
    Veteran Wild Cobra's Avatar
    Location
    Portland, OR
    Post Count
    43,117
    NBA Team
    Portland Trailblazers
    College
    Oregon Ducks
    Thinking that doing things THE ALPHA WAY is demented means you're a beta.
    But that isn't the alpha way.

  18. #18
    Veteran Wild Cobra's Avatar
    Location
    Portland, OR
    Post Count
    43,117
    NBA Team
    Portland Trailblazers
    College
    Oregon Ducks
    Second thought. That is the alpha way for the leader of a dumb click, or gang, or adolescent bullies. Not a real alpha male. A real alpha male also has some intelligence.

  19. #19
    above average height mavs>spurs's Avatar
    Post Count
    9,772
    NBA Team
    Dallas Mavericks
    you really wanna step to us, bro?

  20. #20
    Veteran Wild Cobra's Avatar
    Location
    Portland, OR
    Post Count
    43,117
    NBA Team
    Portland Trailblazers
    College
    Oregon Ducks
    you really wanna step to us, bro?
    Sorry, but I can't help but laugh at the complete stupidity.

  21. #21
    5 Bill_Brasky's Avatar
    Post Count
    11,220
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    College
    Texas Tech Red Raiders
    Careful guys, he might triangulate our position and tell us we should really be careful about photos we put on facebook!

  22. #22
    Larry is a faggot Edward's Avatar
    Post Count
    1,454
    NBA Team
    Phoenix Suns
    College
    Notre Dame Fighting Irish
    Careful guys, he might triangulate our position and tell us we should really be careful about photos we put on facebook!


    He's checkin google earf as I type this!

  23. #23
    俺はまんこが大好きなんだよ baseline bum's Avatar
    Post Count
    97,883
    NBA Team
    San Antonio Spurs
    College
    UCLA Bruins
    That's the beta way to stalk bro. The alpha way you'd be yelling her name the whole time so she knew you were coming and then go kick in her door.

  24. #24
    Long, Dark Blues redzero's Avatar
    Post Count
    14,531
    NBA Team
    New Orleans Hornets
    College
    LSU Tigers
    I think the 3rd graders and adolescent losers do. I personally think it's pretty pathetic.
    And calling people "n*gger" to rile them up isn't pathetic?

  25. #25
    Long, Dark Blues redzero's Avatar
    Post Count
    14,531
    NBA Team
    New Orleans Hornets
    College
    LSU Tigers
    Why should I call a got like you a niggеr? Sorry, but it's not my style to insult losers like you with a racial slur like niggеr. I'm OK with others calling you a niggеr though.

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