resume pet peeves

[Will Hunting]

I've been reviewing a lot of resumes for open spots at work and there are some things that seriously bug me. Anyone else have certain things they can't stand seeing/not seeing on a resume?

• People who graduated < 2 years ago applying for an analyst role and not listing their GPA on their resume. I'll pretty much throw any resume like that away since the only reason you wouldn't list your GPA for an entry level role is if it sucks.
• People applying for an entry level role with a resume > 1 page long. Instant sign of a wordy, narcissistic millennial with an inflated self-esteem who thinks his/her work/academic/personal history is SOOOOOOOO compelling that his/her resume should be longer than the one page limit stated on the application.
• Using subjective adjectives to prop something up (i.e., performed "complex" analysis). I'll be the ing judge of what's complex/simple, I don't need your input.
• Similar to the above, people who don't list anything specific but unnecessarily use big words. The one word I see a lot is "analytics", at some point it became the standard for people to describe basic, mundane data entry experience that no one cares about as "analytics".
• Listing athletic achievements/extra-curricular activities from high school. No one wants a peaked-in-high-school bag who can't think beyond the "glory days" and wears the sacred letterman jacket to work every Friday.
• Including fluffy catch phrases like "hard worker", "fast learner" or "team player". Thanks, if someone else applying for this job openly admits on a resume that he's lazy, struggles to learn stuff quickly or doesn't work well on teams, I'll be sure to remember you.

[Thread]

Just give 'em the in' job. Just about everyone is a 90-day wonder anyhow.

[DD]

Listing an Objective on your resume/CV. We know your (and everyone else's) objective is to get a job, dip

[Will Hunting]

Listing an Objective on your resume/CV. We know your (and everyone else'sO objective is to get a job, dip

that's a good one. To be fair, I've noticed a lot of people ask the question "what are your goals?" during interviews. They're usually the people who are terrible at evaluating applicants and want to hire someone because that person gave a great answer about the leadership he/she demonstrated as treasurer of their college's Save the Rainforest Club and showed a "great at ude" during the interview.

[Will Hunting]

Btw, this rant is largely related to the fact I now need to train someone at work after I said her resume was dog (mediocre GPA with a joke major, 3 different jobs in 2 years, writing ability of a 7th grader, etc.) and that she shouldn't be hired but she still was because people who interviewed her said she had "a lot of energy" and was "really positive".

[Thread]

Btw, this rant is largely related to the fact I now need to train someone at work after I said her resume was dog (mediocre GPA with a joke major, 3 different jobs in 2 years, writing ability of a 7th grader, etc.) and that she shouldn't be hired but she still was because people who interviewed her said she had "a lot of energy" and was "really positive".

Grim reality.

[Thread]

Grim reality.

The kicker? She'll be giddy on her first dress down Friday after the start.

[Will Hunting]

The kicker? She'll be giddy on her first dress down Friday after the start.

She's been at work for a few months and hasn't learned . I'm starting to get impatient when she asks me to show her how to do something for the 3rd time.

[Thread]

She's been at work for a few months and hasn't learned . I'm starting to get impatient when she asks me to show her how to do something for the 3rd time.

All they want is the idea of the job & of course the paycheck.

[Will Hunting]

All they want is the idea of the job & of course the paycheck.

There's no question people my age (i.e., in their early or mid 20s) have a horrible sense of en lement. You can find some who were raised right and want to work hard, but most people coming out of college these days seem to think they don't need to spend all their time at work doing work.

This girl in particular, like clockwork, always has some pop culture news up on one of her screens. The other day I said to her, "You're not given two screens so you can surf the internet on one while you pretend to do work on the other, you're given two screens so you can do more work more efficiently."

[DMC]

I typically ignore resumes that are longer than a couple pages. I also ignore those on fancy parchment (back when they were on actual paper). I don't look too much into what they say they did. I look at how long they did it and if they were promoted within the organization instead of job hopping to get a promotion.

A resume is a request for an interview, not a request for a job. I've always been offered the job once I've been interviewed, but getting that interview can be tricky. You have to know what the employer is looking for specifically and understand people like Will Hunting aren't going through 2 thousand resumes to find yours. That means there are word filters in play these days and you need to use the proper words to get through them. I use bullet points and only talk about relevant experience, no one gives a what you did in another career, what your hobbies are, what award you got in your community.

I read one that read something like this:

Name: Marcus "Superfly" Jackson Email: [email protected]

Objective: To bring a level of professionalism unheard of to your organization!

Education: Associated degree in electronical engineering of sciences

Past experience: Worked with multi-million dollar equipment ensuring all aspects of the job were completed in a timely manner
Past experience 2: dic jockey at a high end club on the strip

Personal: I am an easy going and laid back character until the buzzer sounds at work, then I am superfly getting things done. I quickly rise above the compe ion and make my presence known.




Dude was applying for a job that required a BSEE at minimum, and the "worked with" told me he was only an operator.

Too many folks have attended the "90 red gumballs, 10 white ones" seminar and think it's about volume of resume submissions and luck.

[Koolaid_Man]

She's been at work for a few months and hasn't learned . I'm starting to get impatient when she asks me to show her how to do something for the 3rd time.

Give her the job...she probably has good character and just need the appropriate leadership....if you question her character then all you have to do is search all your racists posts up in this to know you shouldn't judge..

What I can't stand is people who hire that fail to show true leadership that people can follow....show her she has to live her job by example and your problem is solved..who knows you might get free blowjobs down the road if you play your cards right

[DMC]

There's no question people my age (i.e., in their early or mid 20s) have a horrible sense of en lement. You can find some who were raised right and want to work hard, but most people coming out of college these days seem to think they don't need to spend all their time at work doing work.

This girl in particular, like clockwork, always has some pop culture news up on one of her screens. The other day I said to her, "You're not given two screens so you can surf the internet on one while you pretend to do work on the other, you're given two screens so you can do more work more efficiently."

I had the same issue with an employee once. She didn't know anything about computers, so it's easy to fix. I just put a screen saver with the text "time watcher" so it would show up sometimes when the screen saver activated. She had no idea what it was but it looked like someone was keeping an eye on her.

[Will Hunting]

I had the same issue with an employee once. She didn't know anything about computers, so it's easy to fix. I just put a screen saver with the text "time watcher" so it would show up sometimes when the screen saver activated. She had no idea what it was but it looked like someone was keeping an eye on her.

Yeah unfortunately we don't have that kind of flexibility at big companies , what I'm doing now is that every day she's required to give me a list of everything she did and how much time each thing took. When it supposedly took her 2 hours to send a 15 word email I had her dead to rights.

[Will Hunting]

Give her the job...she probably has good character and just need the appropriate leadership....if you question her character then all you have to do is search all your racists posts up in this to know you shouldn't judge..

What I can't stand is people who hire that fail to show true leadership that people can follow....show her she has to live her job by example and your problem is solved..who knows you might get free blowjobs down the road if you play your cards right

I'm not questioning her character, I'm questioning her intelligence (or lack thereof) and work ethic.

The bolded part of your comment tells me you're that guy who s up a lot at work and blames his manager for not training him enough

[Koolaid_Man]

I'm not questioning her character, I'm questioning her intelligence (or lack thereof) and work ethic.

The bolded part of your comment tells me you're that guy who s up a lot at work and blames his manager for not training him enough

Yep..

[InRareForm]

Lots of truth in this but you sound kind of y posting this tbh

[Thread]

There's no question people my age (i.e., in their early or mid 20s) have a horrible sense of en lement. You can find some who were raised right and want to work hard, but most people coming out of college these days seem to think they don't need to spend all their time at work doing work.

This girl in particular, like clockwork, always has some pop culture news up on one of her screens. The other day I said to her, "You're not given two screens so you can surf the internet on one while you pretend to do work on the other, you're given two screens so you can do more work more efficiently."

It's hopeless, but, you know that. Sickens the stomach.

[TDMVPDPOY]

how many graduate that come out have any relevant work experience for that type of role?

u are advertising a entry level role, its not like your seeking someone with 2-3 year experience

[bigzak25]

And why do you guys have screen savers and dual screens at McDonald's?

[DMC]

lol guy with name "bigzak" commenting on McDonald's. You have to see the irony there.

[hehateme]

You can find someone with the best resume and they still turn out to be the tiest co-worker. Just saying from experience...

[leemajors]

You can find someone with the best resume and they still turn out to be the tiest co-worker. Just saying from experience...

The people who don't know how to work under pressure/with deadlines/adversity but kill in interviews are way worse. They end up wedging themselves into positions they never should have been anywhere near and making everyone else work twice as hard.

[DPG21920]

Hiring people is very difficult. Especially if you have vanilla ideas about what makes someone intelligent & no importance on culture.

Resumes are just a very general generic overview designed to give you some hope of narrowing the pool down. The interview(s) are what is important.

[DMC]

Yeah unfortunately we don't have that kind of flexibility at big companies , what I'm doing now is that every day she's required to give me a list of everything she did and how much time each thing took. When it supposedly took her 2 hours to send a 15 word email I had her dead to rights.

I never looked for dirt in the gold mine. I needed a specific amount of gold or I needed gold at a specific time. If my folks could do that without ting on each other then I was cool with them taking their pound of flesh. Folks will work harder to reach goals if they have a reason to, and "it's your job" isn't a motivating reason, but "If you get done by noon you can off the rest of the afternoon" seem to get lots of play.