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Agreed.
Peace, love and sports?
Agreed.
Darn, I knew I should have baked him some pies...
same thing happened to me (kinda)
took almost a month to get completely over.
Fair enough... it's hard to understand your situation without understanding the details. So, you are angry at him for not fighting for you - I understand that intimately. You know the irony here - when I let 'her' go, I did so because I was moving countries and was pretty screwed up about rebuilding my life yet again and couldn't see how I could do that and be good to her as well. At the time I honestly believed I was doing the right thing by her. I didn't think it would be fair to her to ask her to wait for me while I sorted everything out, so I explained all this to her and broke up with her. What I was missing was that she meant more to me than anything else, and I to her, and I should've just made it work out, whatever I had to do. Biggest mistake of my life. I'm not defending your guy at all, just explaining how even good men can do stupid things... and I am a good man, a very good one, this I know, although sometimes it's hard to believe it any more given the rejection I've experienced during my life.Hey, I'm willing to fight those cir stances out of our control...he isn't. Which just makes me feel so dumb. I know I deserve a guy who would fight for me. I just never thought that he wouldn't be that type of guy. How do you really know someone these days? It's like you can't trust anyone. So many Guys (and probably most girls too) just tell you what you want to hear and put on a persona that's not really them. I'm one of those people that is totally 100% honest...sometimes brutally so. I never, ever lie and I'm a firm believer that you should treat others the way you want to be treated. I can't imagine treating a guy and ending things with someone the way he did with me. I guess that's what makes the whole thing even more confusing.
And the fact that I still want him, after everything he did just makes me feel even dumber!
I am still a little confused as to why you think you can never trust a man again. Did he propose to you? Or did he say he'd do anything to make it work for both of you? If so, I understand. If not, it sounds to me like he deserves your anger, but I'm not sure how he betrayed your trust.
Anyway, sorry to hear about it. Believe me, I understand heartbreak from just about every angle... I haven't had death intervene in love yet, but that's about the only way my heart hasn't been smashed. My best advice is just to keep busy, but when you do feel like dwelling on it, do so, bawl your eyes out, and really ask yourself the hard questions about why you feel the way you do and what you are going to do to move on.
All the best.
Ruff
One other thing, which will make me unpopular, especially with the women around here, but "everything happens for a reason" seems ridiculous to me... things happen because we make choices, and to believe that the Universe has a plan for my love life or lack thereof seems absurd. The Universe doesn't give a damn about my insignificant little consciousness. Everything doesn't happen for a cosmic reason, it happens because of the interaction between our choices and the chaos of everything else, but how we react to the results of that mixture is what defines us. Right now I am not reacting particularly well to where I am in life, but that's my problem, and I refuse to believe that it isn't my responsibility to change where I am.
I guess I'm just lonely, bitter, and faithless. So be it.
Everything happens for a reason bro. EVERYTHING.
A fly lands on for a reason.
A dude dumps a girl because of fresh booty for that reason. (not implying that's the case for 1Parker1)
My uncle turned 50 this year. He's had two girlfriends his entire life. Never married, never anything. He has an 18yo dog and tons of toys in his garage like four wheelers and such. He claims he is happy. He tells me he never wanted a woman, that it don't bother him. I saw right through that bull .
Especially when I found his myspace, and where it asks "what are you looking for" he said "my soulmate."
She's out there. He hasn't found her because he doesn't act like he gives a . He doesn't make a ing god damn effort and it obviously pisses me off.
My point is that's a reason why he is single. Maybe it isn't your reason, but it is his and it's his own fault. Not everything has to have a good reason. Most don't it seems now days. It has nothing to do with the universe having a plan for your life, or anything to do with astronomy or the stars.
If you are alone, and single, and tired of it DO SOMETHING about it. There are all kinds of singles groups in this world. Unless you are an uglyyyyy person then there's hope for you. I'm only 23 and already been through a 4.5 year relationship. we were engaged. I am so glad it ended in a bloody mess, now I look back and realize so many things. And now I am with a girl I feel like is so out of my league but she loves me and we make it. She dropped in my lap when I stopped looking for it. And that's what I tell people 'looking for love', not that you are specifically looking to get hitched.. but I say stop looking. Ignore it. Just handle your business and don't be a recluse... go out.. have fun in the world. And when the thought is so far out of your mind you'll realize before you know it that a beautiful tan blond hair blue eyed girl loves you and wants you in her life. (okay maybe not the blond hair and such) but it will happen for you. Just don't be like my uncle, and don't go looking for it.
Everything.Happens.For.A.Reason
Also:
I think 1Parker1 and Ruff need to go out when she gets closure from this dude.
May I second what Solid D said. Whenever I feel bad and down, I look for things that I can do for other people. It always makes me feel better to focus on other people and their needs. I am not sure how healthy it is, as in I might be avoiding actually dealing with the issue, but it works for me, especially at the time that the wound is freshest.
Heres something that will cheer you up 1parker1
I found someone.
If I could, you will find someone even better.
Trust me, your a great catch for any guy in Philadelphia.
Or maybe you should just move to SA so that you can be appreciated
Reason why you should not commit yourself into a relationship
you know one day, that person will break your heart
single life FTW.
Brutalis, you missed my point entirely until this: "It has nothing to do with the universe having a plan for your life..." That was my point. When many people, especially women in my experience, use the phrase "everything happens for a reason", they are in fact referring to destiny, a grand scheme, usually in the context of some God or other, and I just can't believe that. As I said, "...(things) happens because of the interaction between our choices and the chaos of (the world)... and I refuse to believe that it isn't my responsibility to change where I am."
Anyway, thanks for trying, but I well understand my predicament in life - I'm 33, seen all sorts of wonder and fulness, and I know that women will always be my Achilles Heel because very few of them have ever understood me. I've just got to forget about them and live and hope that I am lucky enough to find another one who appreciates who I am. I found two and let them go, and that was unwise, but there's not a damn thing I can do about it, so I will just live and see what happens. Dealing with the frustration is the real challenge I face.
Stop talking to him, don't even think about him... go have some fun with your friends... and do alot of drinking
exactly.. I've recently been going into relationships with the mindset that I know it's going to end... someone's going to break up... if you start relationships like that... it will be easier...
her mistake was... thinking he was the one..
Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all...
I hate the saying "time heals all wounds." That not necessarily true. But, hopefully with time, things won't seem so bad.
Anyway, every person handles these kinds of things differently. So, it's really up to you. You have to remove yourself from the situation and look at it from a third person objective observer. As you said, when it's happened to your friends, you've told them to toughen up. Well, take that advice. Is it better to sulk, be unhappy, sad, and crying? Or is it better to understand that it's part of life, it does suck, but the best thing to do is move on? Look at it that way, and try your best to do the latter.
It won't be easy, but you cannot let it consume your thoughts and your life. You continue to live your life, do your best to make the most of your day. If you dwell on it and sulk, you only make yourself more miserable. Sometimes you will need to vent or express yourself, so find someone who you trust to confide in when you need to let things out. Otherwise, realize that sometimes you have to go through things like this in life. And, sooner or later, things will be better.
Good luck.
the world!!! When you least expect it...................expect it
I just found this on yahoo.com
I think it's perfect for this situation...
Dating 101 how to handle rejection...
So there you are at the deli getting a ham sandwich, when that person you're attracted to comes and stands next to you at the counter. You've seen them over and over again, and you finally have the guts to turn and smile at them... and they do nothing in return. They almost look right through you like you don't exist.
So you grab your ham sandwich and run out of there as quickly as you can, saying to yourself, "I will never do that again. This doesn't work." Is this the best way to deal with rejection? How do you personally deal with rejection? More importantly, are you someone who believes that if you become "good" at dating you will no longer get rejected?
The dating truth is that being able to deal with rejection is the key to being successful at going out and meeting singles. It's also not the ultra-significant event so many make it out to be. So here are five essential tips on how to handle rejection, which you need to embrace if you are going to have a full and successful dating life:
1. Change Your Dating Expectations. One of the first and most important things to understand is that no matter what you do, not everybody is going to respond positively to you. Not everyone you smile at will smile back at you. Not everyone you say o to is going to say o back to you.
“Stop expecting a positive response 100% of the time.”
Stop expecting a positive response 100% of the time. Just because somebody did not smile back at you does not mean that you're not an attractive person or that you made a mistake by smiling. The only thing it means is that it did not work with that one person.
2. Life Is All About Rejection. Everything in life has rejection involved in it. If you're a salesperson who makes 10 sales calls, you may only get one or two people to say yes. A baseball player whose batting average is around 300 will likely end up in the Hall of Fame. A quarterback who can complete 55 percent of his passes is doing pretty well. Everything in life is about percentages. You don't quit simply because you experienced some rejection. Imagine if you stopped looking for work when your very first interview didn't result in a job offer. That would, of course, be ridiculous. Remember that you also need to keep going in your dating life when you're rejected, because you want to keep increasing your odds of success.
3. Focus on Increasing Your Dating Odds. When you feel like you are getting more than your fair share of rejections, instead of focusing on those rejections, focus on increasing your odds of success. The fact is that by playing the percentages as I mentioned above, you will be successful.
“The reason is that every time you take action -- every time you smile, say o, or walk over and initiate a conversation -- you get better at it.”
The reason is that every time you take action -- every time you smile, say o, or walk over and initiate a conversation -- you get better at it. If you're going to go out there and only talk to one person a day, then your chances of success are not going to be great. Increase your odds every single day and in everything you're doing.
4. Keep Things in Perspective. I hear some version of this from clients all the time: "What if I approach somebody, get rejected, and someone sees me? I'll never be able to go in that store again!" Get a little perspective here. Let me tell you something -- you're not front page news! When you're rejected, you need to just get over it. No one is talking about you. People are concerned about themselves and what is going on in their own lives, just as you are focused on what's going on in yours. So the fact that you get rejected in front of other people at the market, at the gym, or anywhere else is not a big deal to anyone but you.
5. Don't Overreact When Dating. The other thing I commonly hear from clients who have been rejected is some version of this: "I'm never going to talk to that person ever again now that I was rejected by them." This is not only a total overreaction, it is also absolutely the wrong thing to do. So you tried to talk to (or smile or look at) someone, and they didn't respond. As I mentioned above, there are a million possible reasons why that person did not respond to you. It doesn't necessarily mean that person wouldn't want to talk to you another time. If I smile at a woman and she doesn't respond, I don't play hide-and-go-seek the next time I see her. I am equally friendly to her the next time I see her, because you never know what will happen that second time. It's a different day. Put the last time behind you.
These are some ways to help you get over rejection. Realize that in order to get good at interacting with potential mates, you are going to get rejected. In fact, you want to get rejected every single day, because if you're not, it means you're not trying.
So ask yourself this: Did you get rejected today, and how can you go out tomorrow and make it an even better day than today? Learn to not only handle but to embrace rejection, and you will meet great new people and have an amazing social life.
http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/si...vbgR6egNhYmM-m
As someone who is highly experienced with rejection. that's a pretty good run down on how to deal with it, actually. You can encompass those 5 rules in one phrase: "don't take it personally". Even though it feels personal, it's not. The hardest thing is not to become discouraged, but even then feeling discouraged generally leads you to focus on other things, which can be a positive.
ing Spring. None of this was an issue in winter, I didn't give a . Then Spring comes along, and with it increased biological urges, and oila, frustration.
Hey Ruff, have you ever given God a chance?
This is a geniune question and by no means do I intend to hijack this thread.
I understand your perspective of personal responsibility. However, I do believe certain events occur for certain reasons. I do believe in an ever present God who cares deeply for each and every individual.
1Parker1, I am confident there is a gentleman out there waiting to share his life with you, even if either of you aren't aware of it yet.
1P1 wasn't exactly rejected. She and this dude had been doing the wild thing for some time apparently. It's just that he had some kind of secret that messed things up for them.
And I'm not letting Bo hijack this thread!
eric bennet - love dont love me.....
way to live like a chicken .
"More happiness in giving then recieving". Also agree ploto, esp when wound is freshest this can soothe but yes watch out for doing it just to avoid issues.
Also, especially you sentimental chicks but even to an extent guys, avoid movies and songs with heavy romance themes. Someone crooning "my broken heart...." just reminds you of the pain.
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