Free Quattro Razor (12)

[peewee's lovechild]

I don't look like one now except to you and that doesn't really matter.

You were the one making horrible jokes at someone else's expense and now are resorting to middle school juvenile attacks hiding behind the internet.

Hiding?

Who the fuck is hiding?

Fuck you.

[ATRAIN]

The Swedish Team was my favorite. :toast


Yeah they were.........I would like to compete in beerfest. One of my friends just bought a DAS BOOT!!! I want one!!!

[samikeyp]

Does anyone here think Superbad was funny?


I have only seen parts of it but from what I saw I thought it was.

[samikeyp]

Yeah they were.........I would like to compete in beerfest. One of my friends just bought a DAS BOOT!!! I want one!!!


DAS BOOOOT!!!

:lol

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

That dictionary entry of "gullible" with the picture of Viva next to it apparently got a lot longer since I went to bed last night.

[ATRAIN]

Does anyone here think Superbad was funny?


Yeah I do, but Flo we are talking about Broken Lizard comedies here man keep up hahaha.

[ORION]

Barry Badrinath: I was in Thailand playing ping-pong in Ding-Dang. A high stakes game in some Opium den. Turns out, these aren't the types of guys who like to lose. When I beat them, they beat me. And this is hard to say. They held me down and shoved a ping-pong paddle up my ass.

Charlie "Fink" Finklestein: Ah geeze Barry! I don't know what I'd do if someone shoved a paddle-handle up my ass!

Barry Badrinath: It wasn't the handle! I've been shitting pancakes ever since!

Great Gam Gam: You and I are not so different Mr. Badrinath. I've had all kinds of things shoved up my ass. But you know what I did? I got over it!

[florige]

I couldn't stop laughing with that one scene!!!

"Am I drinking milk from a saucer?"



What movie are you guys talking about?

[peewee's lovechild]

Does anyone here think Superbad was funny?

That shit was funny as hell.

The part about him drawing cocks as a kid is funny beyond all funnyness!!

[ATRAIN]

That dictionary entry of "gullible" with the picture of Viva next to it apparently got a lot longer since I went to bed last night.


Uhh ohhh re-igniting the rivalry are we blaze?

[CuckingFunt]

Does anyone here think Superbad was funny?
Yes.

[samikeyp]

Barry Badrinath: I was in Thailand playing ping-pong in Ding-Dang. A high stakes game in some Opium den. Turns out, these aren't the types of guys who like to lose. When I beat them, they beat me. And this is hard to say. They held me down and shoved a ping-pong paddle up my ass.

Charlie "Fink" Finklestein: Ah geeze Barry! I don't know what I'd do if someone shoved a paddle-handle up my ass!

Barry Badrinath: It wasn't the handle! I've been shitting pancakes ever since!

Great Gam Gam: You and I are not so different Mr. Badrinath. I've had all kinds of things shoved up my ass. But you know what I did? I got over it!


:lmao

[ATRAIN]

Barry Badrinath: I was in Thailand playing ping-pong in Ding-Dang. A high stakes game in some Opium den. Turns out, these aren't the types of guys who like to lose. When I beat them, they beat me. And this is hard to say. They held me down and shoved a ping-pong paddle up my ass.

Charlie "Fink" Finklestein: Ah geeze Barry! I don't know what I'd do if someone shoved a paddle-handle up my ass!

Barry Badrinath: It wasn't the handle! I've been shitting pancakes ever since!

Great Gam Gam: You and I are not so different Mr. Badrinath. I've had all kinds of things shoved up my ass. But you know what I did? I got over it!

Lets get sour on some krauts!!!! hahahahah

[florige]

Yeah I do, but Flo we are talking about Broken Lizard comedies here man keep up hahaha.


I didn;t know what you guys were talking about and I felt left out... :cry :lol

[ATRAIN]

What movie are you guys talking about?

Supertroopers and Beerfest, both Broken Lizard.

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

There's a huge, long, epic list of movies I've always wanted to see but never got around to. You'd be surprised to learn how low Super Troopers is on that list.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=2Vpe98B-IAM

[peewee's lovechild]

Barry Badrinath: It wasn't the handle! I've been shitting pancakes ever since!



:lol :lol :lol

[florige]

I have only seen parts of it but from what I saw I thought it was.



I haven't seen it yet, but in the 07 best movie thread A started alot of people there has it in their top 3 movies of 07. I'm going to pick it up today.

[peewee's lovechild]

The name of their restaurant, Snitz N' Giggles, is fucking funny as hell.

[florige]

Supertroopers and Beerfest, both Broken Lizard.



And I'm supposed to be the movie guy and I haven't seen either one of them.... :pctoss :pctoss

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

Uhh ohhh re-igniting the rivalry are we blaze?

Well, you're not supposed to take every pitch during a blowout.

[peewee's lovechild]

Ya, it looks like his head is covered in pubic hair.
But it's ok it works, ya, cause you've got a dickface.

[peewee's lovechild]

And I'm supposed to be the movie guy and I haven't seen either one of them.... :pctoss :pctoss

Or Super Bad.

You aint no movie guy.

[florige]

Or Super Bad.

You aint no movie guy.



I know!!! :pctoss

[peewee's lovechild]

"I like mustard on my sausage."
"I'm gonna break your dick off!!!"

[peewee's lovechild]

"Looks like we got the Brits in round 1. We already kicked their asses in WWII. Cheer-i-o, let's do it again!"

[midgetonadonkey]

I bought Superbad yesterday but haven't seen it yet. I plan to make a drinking game out of it. Everytime they say McLovin I'm going to drink. I'm assuming they say that quite a bit in the movie.

[CuckingFunt]

I bought Superbad yesterday but haven't seen it yet. I plan to make a drinking game out of it. Everytime they say McLovin I'm going to drink. I'm assuming they say that quite a bit in the movie.
They do, indeed.

[peewee's lovechild]

Wolfgang von Wolfhaus: It appears it is time to initiate Operation Recipe Retrieve.

Gunter: Is that the title we all agreed on? I kind of like Operation Stein Grab.

Rolf: Or what about Brauheist 2006?

Gunter: Oh, that's a good one.

Rolf: Ja, It's kind of spunky.

Gunter: Ja, Its fun

[peewee's lovechild]

I bought Superbad yesterday but haven't seen it yet. I plan to make a drinking game out of it. Everytime they say McLovin I'm going to drink. I'm assuming they say that quite a bit in the movie.

I'm McLovin!
Woooo!

[florige]

Or Super Bad.

You aint no movie guy.


It seems like everytime I normally see a comedy in the theaters I get F'ed. Thats why I normally end up missing out on the good ones.

[peewee's lovechild]

Otto: Despite your thievery, we are prepared to buy it from you right now... in cash.

Jan Wolfhouse: Big deal. A suitcase full of monopoly money/

Schlemmer: Come on, those are euros.

Landfill: What's that, like pesos?

Otto: That is legal European tender!

Rolf: I told you we should have brought Deutsch marks.

Gunter: But they are so hard to find!

[CuckingFunt]

I still think that Gwen Stefani's perfume commercial is one of the greatest things ever committed to film or video.

Efotq1vsFFk

[peewee's lovechild]

"It's time to scheisse, or get off ze crapper."

[ORION]

Shitting pancakes has to be one of the funniest lines in history

[peewee's lovechild]

I still think that Gwen Stefani's perfume commercial is one of the greatest things ever committed to film or video.


I hate that bitch!!!!!!!

[ATRAIN]

"Looks like we got the Brits in round 1. We already kicked their asses in WWII. Cheer-i-o, let's do it again!"


LMAO!!! Dude we need to try to drunken recall trick!!

[peewee's lovechild]

Shitting pancakes has to be one of the funniest lines in history

It made me think about the consistency and texture of his shit.

I wonder if it's actually possible.

[CuckingFunt]

I hate that bitch!!!!!!!
Why?

You wanted Gavin Rossdale all to yourself?

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

I still think that Gwen Stefani's perfume commercial is one of the greatest things ever committed to film or video.

Efotq1vsFFk

Meh.

It's no 2 Girls, 1 Cup.

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

And no, I've not actually watched nor do I want to watch.

[ATRAIN]

"What do you think about that FUCKHEAD!!"
"What do you think about that HEADFUCK"

LMAO

[Viva Las Espuelas]

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/19/Train_wreck_at_Montparnasse_1895.jpg/300px-Train_wreck_at_Montparnasse_1895.jpgso that's where they got it
http://dvweb.mpf.arcstarmusic.com/image1/3fb9d977/3fb9d977-85f3-4cb9-8b7f-39e820dd83c1.MIDDLE.JPEG

[peewee's lovechild]

LMAO!!! Dude we need to try to drunken recall trick!!

Already done it.
It kinda does work.

I guess that's why drunks cry a lot.

I wonder if Marini cries when she gets plastered.

[ATRAIN]

Already done it.
It kinda does work.

I guess that's why drunks cry a lot.

I wonder if Marini cries when she gets plastered.


she would cry everyday if that were the case!!

[CuckingFunt]

I wonder if Marini cries when she gets plastered.
She uses the crying smiley a lot.

I don't know if that's quite the same thing, though.

[peewee's lovechild]

Why?

You wanted Gavin Rossdale all to yourself?

No, it's her music.
Which isn't music at all.

Gavin's a pussy too.
He even named his band after that fact.

[peewee's lovechild]

She uses the crying smiley a lot.

I don't know if that's quite the same thing, though.

I think it is . . . I think it is.

[ATRAIN]

She uses the crying smiley a lot.

I don't know if that's quite the same thing, though.


She likes to get drunk and pick fights with the FUNT!!

[CuckingFunt]

No, it's her music.
Which isn't music at all.

Gavin's a pussy too.
He even named his band after that fact.
I don't like her solo stuff, but I like(d) No Doubt.

I was never a big fan of Gavin's band, but I liked a few of their songs.

Doesn't matter. I'd fuck 'em both.

[peewee's lovechild]

she would cry everyday if that were the case!!

Speaking of "case", where my money bitch???

You owe me a Benjamin.

[CuckingFunt]

She likes to get drunk and pick fights with the FUNT!!
Indeed. The Funt is not very well liked by the new chicks of the Quattro.

[peewee's lovechild]

She likes to get drunk and pick fights with the FUNT!!

That's just fun.

[ATRAIN]

Indeed. The Funt is not very well liked by the new chicks of the Quattro.


which other new chicks do you speak of?

[peewee's lovechild]

I don't like her solo stuff, but I like(d) No Doubt.

I was never a big fan of Gavin's band, but I liked a few of their songs.

Doesn't matter. I'd fuck 'em both.

I don't like any of her music.

I obviously wouldn't fuck Gavin, but I wouldn't fuck Gwenn either.

I don't find her attractive, at all.
Bleached blonde hair, three inch make up, and the fucking dot in the middle of her forehead kinda kills it for me.

[peewee's lovechild]

which other new chicks do you speak of?

We should have a Cat Fight Friday one of these days.

That would be fun as shit!!!

[CuckingFunt]

which other new chicks do you speak of?
SraMylanta isn't too fond of me.

[samikeyp]

Indeed. The Funt is not very well liked by the new chicks of the Quattro.

Jealousy is an ugly thing.

[peewee's lovechild]

I wish I was rich enough to hire a midget to follow me wherever I go.

[ATRAIN]

SraMylanta isn't too fond of me.


you mean Maalox? She seems nice though, was she fighting with you too, if so I missed that.

[peewee's lovechild]

Foot porn.

[florige]

SraMylanta isn't too fond of me.


I thought you two went wayy back... :lol

[midgetonadonkey]

I don't like any of her music.

I obviously wouldn't fuck Gavin, but I wouldn't fuck Gwenn either.

I don't find her attractive, at all.
Bleached blonde hair, three inch make up, and the fucking dot in the middle of her forehead kinda kills it for me.

You would fuck her. If you were willing to fuck Brownsville skanks you are willing to fuck a mildly attractive annoying bitch.

[midgetonadonkey]

mrsmallox is the new Old School Chic

[peewee's lovechild]

you mean Maalox? She seems nice though, was she fighting with you too, if so I missed that.

You miss most things.

Your brain, if we should call it that, operates at full capacity which is a full 73% less than the average.

[ATRAIN]

I wish I was rich enough to hire a midget to follow me wherever I go.


Midgets as pets, now your on to something!!

[peewee's lovechild]

You would fuck her. If you were willing to fuck Brownsville skanks you are willing to fuck a mildly attractive annoying bitch.

You have a pretty good point here.
It still doesn't change the fact that I fucking hate the bitch.

So, I'd fuck her and then kick her in the cunt shortly afterward.
Something like that.

[ATRAIN]

You miss most things.

Your brain, if we should call it that, operates at full capacity which is a full 73% less than the average.


In that case I missed what our bet was on so I guess I don't owe you any thing.

[CuckingFunt]

I don't like any of her music.

I obviously wouldn't fuck Gavin, but I wouldn't fuck Gwenn either.

I don't find her attractive, at all.
Bleached blonde hair, three inch make up, and the fucking dot in the middle of her forehead kinda kills it for me.
She hasn't worn the bindy in a long time.

You're entitled to your opinion, though.

http://img183.imageshack.us/img183/7014/986032gwenstefanidmwfcpb9.jpg

... like the fist of an angry god.

[peewee's lovechild]

In that case I missed what our bet was on so I guess I don't owe you any thing.

Pussy.

You're backing out in front of everybody??

Fucking pussy.

[CuckingFunt]

mrsmallox is the new Old School Chic
This is very true.

[ATRAIN]

Pussy.

You're backing out in front of everybody??

Fucking pussy.


Not backing out, but you said in a nutshell im dumb and not smart so I was curious if I was dumb why would i retain out bet? Let me ask everyone a question, if pee wee would have LOST the bet, do you think he would have paid up to someone he has never met in person?

I should make a poll thread and see if what everyone in ST thinks and that will determine weather or not you get your money.

[peewee's lovechild]

She hasn't worn the bindy in a long time.

You're entitled to your opinion, though.

http://img183.imageshack.us/img183/7014/986032gwenstefanidmwfcpb9.jpg

... like the fist of an angry god.


Not my idea of a good looking woman.

That whole painted eyebrows thing is a complete turn off.
All tha make up is a turn off.

She's a blonde version of Amy Winehouse.

[florige]

Pussy.

You're backing out in front of everybody??

Fucking pussy.


Peewee you are back to form mighty quickly after your surgery. My uncle was out of commission for like a month not doing anything. He did have six disc done though...

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

Gwen's hot and the only way there's a new OSC is if she starts talking about blowing her husband in every post and puts glittery shit everywhere.

[peewee's lovechild]

Not backing out, but you said in a nutshell im dumb and not smart so I was curious if I was dumb why would i retain out bet? Let me ask everyone a question, if pee wee would have LOST the bet, do you think he would have paid up to someone he has never met in person?

You're dumb for thinking Houston would make it to the playoffs.

And, as for your last question, it's a moot point.
You betted on the Texans. You're always going to pay on a bet like that.

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

Betted?

If you needed any extra confirmation Peewee was from the Valley, you now have it.

[ATRAIN]

You're dumb for thinking Houston would make it to the playoffs.

And, as for your last question, it's a moot point.
You betted on the Texans. You're always going to pay on a bet like that.


It's called confidence in my team. You have to admit they have been better than most have thought they would.

[midgetonadonkey]

Not my idea of a good looking woman.

That whole painted eyebrows thing is a complete turn off.
All tha make up is a turn off.

She's a blonde version of Amy Winehouse.

Amy Winehouse is a lot nastier than Stefani. I hate the bitch too but in some pictures she looks ok. Not hot, but ok.

[midgetonadonkey]

You're dumb for thinking Houston would make it to the playoffs.

And, as for your last question, it's a moot point.
You betted on the Texans. You're always going to pay on a bet like that.

betted?

[peewee's lovechild]

Peewee you are back to form mighty quickly after your surgery. My uncle was out of commission for like a month not doing anything. He did have six disc done though...

It was only one disc with me.
The last one.

I'm surprised at how quickly I'm healing.
Although, I was in severe pain for a while.
Thank god for Vicodin.

I'm probably also younger than your uncle was when he got his surgery.

[midgetonadonkey]

Betted may be a word in Brownsville but not in the real US.

[ATRAIN]

It was only one disc with me.
The last one.

I'm surprised at how quickly I'm healing.
Although, I was in severe pain for a while.
Thank god for Vicodin.

I'm probably also younger than your uncle was when he got his surgery.


Can you walk?

[peewee's lovechild]

Gwen's hot and the only way there's a new OSC is if she starts talking about blowing her husband in every post and puts glittery shit everywhere.

OSC?

[CuckingFunt]

She's a blonde version of Amy Winehouse.
I'd re-post that Amy Winehouse picture from a few pages back to show you how wrong you are, but I don't want to see it again.

No matter.

I'd hit it, though.

I'd hit it and nurse it back to health so I could hit it again.

[midgetonadonkey]

I stand corrected. Betted is a word.

[ORION]

It was only one disc with me.
The last one.

I'm surprised at how quickly I'm healing.
Although, I was in severe pain for a while.
Thank god for Vicodin.

I'm probably also younger than your uncle was when he got his surgery.
what the hell did you do? let me know so I can get the same thing done.

[midgetonadonkey]

OSC?

OldSchoolChic

It's before your time.

[CuckingFunt]

OSC?
Old School Chic.

[CuckingFunt]

OSC's bravatar came with a five paragraph explanation of her lighting techniques.

[florige]

It was only one disc with me.
The last one.

I'm surprised at how quickly I'm healing.
Although, I was in severe pain for a while.
Thank god for Vicodin.

I'm probably also younger than your uncle was when he got his surgery.


Yeah you are. I was telling him how much pain you were in and that you thought something had gone wrong and he was like yeah, I remember those days. He still does use a walker though. But my uncle is 52, and had six disc done.

[peewee's lovechild]

Betted?

If you needed any extra confirmation Peewee was from the Valley, you now have it.


betted?


Betted may be a word in Brownsville but not in the real US.

Yea, I'm embarrassed.

I blame it on the after effects of the Vicodin.

[peewee's lovechild]

Can you walk?

I've only recently started to walk.

I lost a lot of strenght in my legs.
I was surprised by that.

But, it's coming along pretty quick.

[peewee's lovechild]

I stand corrected. Betted is a word.

I've been vindicated.

[ATRAIN]

I've only recently started to walk.

I lost a lot of strenght in my legs.
I was surprised by that.

But, it's coming along pretty quick.


Damn man that sucks, so have you been stuck at home this whole time?

[peewee's lovechild]

what the hell did you do? let me know so I can get the same thing done.

Dude, you want none of that shit.

You have to start with a Heavy Duty truck slamming into you at 75 miles an hour while your car is idling.

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

OSC's bravatar came with a five paragraph explanation of her lighting techniques.

OHMMM... attractively lit breasts....

[CuckingFunt]

I've only recently started to walk.

I lost a lot of strenght in my legs.
I was surprised by that.

But, it's coming along pretty quick.
In two weeks? That is surprising.

[peewee's lovechild]

Yeah you are. I was telling him how much pain you were in and that you thought something had gone wrong and he was like yeah, I remember those days. He still does use a walker though. But my uncle is 52, and had six disc done.

Fuck.

That walker stuff is scary.

[ORION]

Dude, you want none of that shit.

You have to start with a Heavy Duty truck slamming into you at 75 miles an hour while your car is idling.
I said DAMN !
you should be dead. You and Batman should start a club and call it
"Lucky Fucks"
Did you sue his ass

[peewee's lovechild]

Damn man that sucks, so have you been stuck at home this whole time?

Yea, and bored as fuck!!!

Well, I was high about 90% of the time anyway.

[ORION]

Yea, and bored as fuck!!!

Well, I was high about 90% of the time anyway.
jacking off is being high so you can safely say you were high 100% of the time

[CuckingFunt]

When do you get to go back to work and keep Midge company?

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

Florige could probably chuckle at the snark in this headline:

Homicide count in Baltimore hits 275, matching 2006 tally. City leaders surprised strategic plan of holding candle-light vigils and painting murals on abandoned buildings did not work again for the fifth straight year

[peewee's lovechild]

In two weeks? That is surprising.

Yea, I know.

But, my legs wobble and tremble when I squat or walk too long.
It's fucking weird.

[peewee's lovechild]

They weren't kidding when they said "no sex for two months."

But, I think I'm ready for that anyway.

[ATRAIN]

I said DAMN !
you should be dead. You and Batman should start a club and call it
"Lucky Fucks"
Did you sue his ass


LMAO!!!

[peewee's lovechild]

jacking off is being high so you can safely say you were high 100% of the time

You are a wise man.

Yoda's got nothing on you.

[ATRAIN]

Yea, I know.

But, my legs wobble and tremble when I squat or walk too long.
It's fucking weird.


Does it hurt to rub one out?

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

So I was headed for the bathroom. When I'm about 10 feet from the door my boss comes out. After exchanging hellos he heads back to his office and I go into the bathroom to take a piss. I don't know what the hell that man had to eat but there was enough of a stench to sting the nostrils. He's a real straightlaced sort of guy, so I can't exactly just joke about this sort of thing. But I know for a while every time I have to talk to him all I'll be able to think about is how I had to hold my breath when I took a leak. Is there any good way to clear the air? (no pun intended)

[peewee's lovechild]

When do you get to go back to work and keep Midge company?

6 more weeks.

[florige]

Fuck.

That walker stuff is scary.


He can walk without it some. He said the doctor told him that you pretty much know right away if something is wrong. He said hell from that excruitating pain he had for the first week how in the hell could you not tell?

[ORION]

Yea, I know.

But, my legs wobble and tremble when I squat or walk too long.
It's fucking weird.
you sounded like batman right there. He said those same exact words after he did anal the first time

[ATRAIN]

They weren't kidding when they said "no sex for two months."

But, I think I'm ready for that anyway.


well its good for you that you couldn't get laid in a morgue

[florige]

Does it hurt to rub one out?


He probably won't be able to even get it up for at least a year I've heard.

[CuckingFunt]

So I was headed for the bathroom. When I'm about 10 feet from the door my boss comes out. After exchanging hellos he heads back to his office and I go into the bathroom to take a piss. I don't know what the hell that man had to eat but there was enough of a stench to sting the nostrils. He's a real straightlaced sort of guy, so I can't exactly just joke about this sort of thing. But I know for a while every time I have to talk to him all I'll be able to think about is how I had to hold my breath when I took a leak. Is there any good way to clear the air? (no pun intended)
You have to out-stink him.

On a subconscious level, his ability to give birth to such a pungent odor has threatened your masculinity.

[peewee's lovechild]

I said DAMN !
you should be dead. You and Batman should start a club and call it
"Lucky Fucks"
Did you sue his ass

We sued, but we were three in the car and the car I was in hit another car and the settlement got spread out.

Plus, the cocksucker lawyers got thier cut too.
So, I didn't get all that much.

[ORION]

So I was headed for the bathroom. When I'm about 10 feet from the door my boss comes out. After exchanging hellos he heads back to his office and I go into the bathroom to take a piss. I don't know what the hell that man had to eat but there was enough of a stench to sting the nostrils. He's a real straightlaced sort of guy, so I can't exactly just joke about this sort of thing. But I know for a while every time I have to talk to him all I'll be able to think about is how I had to hold my breath when I took a leak. Is there any good way to clear the air? (no pun intended)
suggest anal douching

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

So I was headed for the bathroom. When I'm about 10 feet from the door my boss comes out. After exchanging hellos he heads back to his office and I go into the bathroom to take a piss. I don't know what the hell that man had to eat but there was enough of a stench to sting the nostrils. He's a real straightlaced sort of guy, so I can't exactly just joke about this sort of thing. But I know for a while every time I have to talk to him all I'll be able to think about is how I had to hold my breath when I took a leak. Is there any good way to clear the air? (no pun intended)

Give him an industrial-strength enema for Christmas.

[CuckingFunt]

6 more weeks.
Are they going to have you do rehab or PT or anything to get strength/endurance/mobility back?

[ATRAIN]

He probably won't be able to even get it up for at least a year I've heard.


LOL hey pee wee did you know that flo rubs one out all the time in the cruiser hahaha

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

You have to out-stink him.

On a subconscious level, his ability to give birth to such a pungent odor has threatened your masculinity.

Yep, that one was better than mine.

[ORION]

You have to out-stink him.

On a subconscious level, his ability to give birth to such a pungent odor has threatened your masculinity.
:lol :lol

[peewee's lovechild]

you sounded like batman right there. He said those same exact words after he did anal the first time
:lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao

[Viva Las Espuelas]

i had 15 hot wings from buffalo wild wings last night and boy did my pucker reminded me of that a little while ago. i should've had a towel with me when i was on the throne.

[CuckingFunt]

you sounded like batman right there. He said those same exact words after we did anal the first time
I finally get to make a "fixed" joke.

My life is complete.

[spurs_fan_in_exile]

You have to out-stink him.

On a subconscious level, his ability to give birth to such a pungent odor has threatened your masculinity.
Good call. I'll ask him if he's got any favorite recipes that he would recommend, then add a fistful of curry to whatever it is, and shit on his desk. ALPHA MALE, MOTHERFUCKER!

[ORION]

We sued, but we were three in the car and the car I was in hit another car and the settlement got spread out.

Plus, the cocksucker lawyers got thier cut too.
So, I didn't get all that much.
are you that mexican on that Wayne Wright commercial ?

[florige]

Florige could probably chuckle at the snark in this headline:

Homicide count in Baltimore hits 275, matching 2006 tally. City leaders surprised strategic plan of holding candle-light vigils and painting murals on abandoned buildings did not work again for the fifth straight year



Our Mayor is as corrupt as some of the hardcore criminals we put away. She is only worried about diverting all the city contracts to her friends and relatives companies so she can get a cut. And on that 275 number, the retards are doing all this new recruiting crap ads on trying to hire all these new officers instead of just giving the officers who have been around raises. They consider being under 300 a "moral victory" Freakin idiots!!

[peewee's lovechild]

Does it hurt to rub one out?

Haven't tried, but I'll let you know.

[peewee's lovechild]

He probably won't be able to even get it up for at least a year I've heard.

Not entirely true.

I've been watching quite a bit of porn.

[peewee's lovechild]

Are they going to have you do rehab or PT or anything to get strength/endurance/mobility back?

PT for about 4 weeks after the 6 weeks are up.

[ORION]

I finally get to make a "fixed" joke.

My life is complete.
I'm glad I could help .... :depressed

[Viva Las Espuelas]

speaking of puckers, has anyone gotten this in an email?
http://img140.imageshack.us/img140/6042/81980414xu8.png

[CuckingFunt]

PT for about 4 weeks after the 6 weeks are up.
That should help a lot.

I miss the chiro/PT I had after my accident.

[peewee's lovechild]

are you that mexican on that Wayne Wright commercial ?

Nah, this happened in Brownsville.

My lawyer was Eugenio Cantu.
He doesn't have the same flair as Wayne Wright of The Texas Hammer.

[florige]

i had 15 hot wings from buffalo wild wings last night and boy did my pucker reminded me of that a little while ago. i should've had a towel with me when i was on the throne.



:lol Were you walking funny for a while once you got out of the can? They have this apparatus that when you have that problem there is that squirts a cool stream of water directly on your anus to soothe the burning sensation. My brother used that for his hemroids...

[CuckingFunt]

I didn't use a lawyer when I got the settlement from my accident. Insurance company gave me a check for the first amount I asked for with no argument.

I still didn't get to keep it all, though. I had to pay back my aunt's insurance company for my medical bills. Fuckers.

[peewee's lovechild]

That should help a lot.

I miss the chiro/PT I had after my accident.

I'm hoping it will help.

I also want to start Tai-Chi.
Only, I don't know of any Tai-Chi places in San Antonio.

[florige]

LOL hey pee wee did you know that flo rubs one out all the time in the cruiser hahaha



A that is messed up dude. Only at my desk at work, but never in the cruiser dude!! :lol

[Viva Las Espuelas]

:lol Were you walking funny for a while once you got out of the can? They have this apparatus that when you have that problem there is that squirts a cool stream of water directly on your anus to soothe the burning sensation. My brother used that for his hemroids...I wasn't walking funny, but it tickled a little bit. I almost quote Cheech "Come on ice cream"

[midgetonadonkey]

I'm hoping it will help.

I also want to start Tai-Chi.
Only, I don't know of any Tai-Chi places in San Antonio.

fag

[1369]

Peter Tosh singing "Johnny B. Goode" just came streaming over iTunes radio.

Niiiiiice cover.

[peewee's lovechild]

A that is messed up dude. Only at my desk at work, but never in the cruiser dude!! :lol

Fuck all that!

I'd be picking up hookers and banging them in the cruiser.

[ATRAIN]

Fuck all that!

I'd be picking up hookers and banging them in the cruiser.


LOL yes we know you would!! hahahaah

[peewee's lovechild]

fag

Fuck you.

That shit solidifies your core.
I want to be able to take a bat to my gut after all that is done.

[midgetonadonkey]

Fuck all that!

I'd be picking up hookers and banging them in the cruiser.

Are you going to lure them into your car with your wicked Tai Chi skills?

[midgetonadonkey]

Fuck you.

That shit solidifies your core.
I want to be able to take a bat to my gut after all that is done.


I bet you do fruity.

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

Fuck all that!

I'd be picking up hookers and banging them in the cruiser.

Reminds me of the SA cop that got sent to jail for having sex with a transsexual prostitute and then beat her.

[peewee's lovechild]

Are you going to lure them into your car with your wicked Tai Chi skills?

Handcuffs would be the easier way.

That, or dragging them by the hair and throwing them in the cruiser.

[peewee's lovechild]

Reminds me of the SA cop that got sent to jail for having sex with a transsexual prostitute and then beat her.

Which begs the question, if you get your dick sucked by a tranny (and I'm talking about a convincing tranny) and don't know about it, does it make you a fag?

[peewee's lovechild]

I bet you do fruity.

Fruits don't take bats to the gut.

[Mister Sinister]

Which begs the question, if you get your dick sucked by a tranny (and I'm talking about a convincing tranny) and don't know about it, does it make you a fag?
Yup.

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

Which begs the question, if you get your dick sucked by a tranny (and I'm talking about a convincing tranny) and don't know about it, does it make you a fag?

I think I remember 3rdCoast posing that question once.

[ATRAIN]

Reminds me of the SA cop that got sent to jail for having sex with a transsexual prostitute and then beat her.


did he beat her after he found out she was a tranny?

[ATRAIN]

Yup.


LOL and he would know!!!

[peewee's lovechild]

I think I remember 3rdCoast posing that question once.

Who is this 3rd Coast?

Anyway, my question has been answered by the resident fag.

[ORION]

:lol
This girl brought 2 puppies to work today and one of my co-workers was playing with one and it crapped on the floor next to her twice and pissed on her desk. I can't stop laughing

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

did he beat her after he found out she was a tranny?

I don't know, but after digging through the archives, it turns out the cop is getting a new trial.

[florige]

Fuck all that!

I'd be picking up hookers and banging them in the cruiser.


Right out of Ray Liotta's book from Unlawful Entry huh? :lol I don't think you would want to get with one if these hookers here. Haven't you heard, not only are we tops in murders, we are also tops in STD's too!! :elephant

[peewee's lovechild]

I don't know, but after digging through the archives, it turns out the cop is getting a new trial.

Set him free.

All trannies deserve a beat down.

[peewee's lovechild]

Right out of Ray Liotta's book from Unlawful Entry huh? :lol I don't think you would want to get with one if these hookers here. Haven't you heard, not only are we tops in murders, we are also tops in STD's too!! :elephant

One word: condom.

I say fuck it, look for the hottest hooker, arrest her and tell her to fuck you or else you'll book her for possesion or some shit. Then, proceed to have your way with her.

Then, after your done, slap her ass and say, "Thanks for the work out, sweetheart."

[peewee's lovechild]

Fuck, now I want a hot hooker.

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

The hottest hooker?

That's like trying to decide which brand of pen I'd like repeatedly jabbed through my balls.

[ATRAIN]

The hottest hooker?

That's like trying to decide which brand of pen I'd like repeatedly jabbed through my balls.


has anyone in here ever paid for sex or a sexual favor?? I for one haven't but I got offered a blow job for 70 bucks at a strip club in mexico (which IMO was overpriced, I mean she was really hot but come on its Mexico isnt shit like that supposed to be like 5 bucks or something?)

[florige]

One word: condom.

I say fuck it, look for the hottest hooker, arrest her and tell her to fuck you or else you'll book her for possesion or some shit. Then, proceed to have your way with her.

Then, after your done, slap her ass and say, "Thanks for the work out, sweetheart."


Trust me dude, if you arrest them you won't have to force them to do anything. They offer it up!

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

has anyone in here ever paid for sex or a sexual favor?? I for one haven't but I got offered a blow job for 70 bucks at a strip club in mexico (which IMO was overpriced, I mean she was really hot but come on its Mexico isnt shit like that supposed to be like 5 bucks or something?)

Unless that blowjob came with a crate of Canel's gum and a 3-liter bottle of penicillin, it's probably a good idea you passed.

[florige]

has anyone in here ever paid for sex or a sexual favor?? I for one haven't but I got offered a blow job for 70 bucks at a strip club in mexico (which IMO was overpriced, I mean she was really hot but come on its Mexico isnt shit like that supposed to be like 5 bucks or something?)


I was tempted one time like 5 years when I was in DC one night clubbing right before I became po-po. But I pussed out at the end. She was hot too!!

[ORION]

has anyone in here ever paid for sex or a sexual favor?? I for one haven't but I got offered a blow job for 70 bucks at a strip club in mexico (which IMO was overpriced, I mean she was really hot but come on its Mexico isnt shit like that supposed to be like 5 bucks or something?)
We went down there and we took a friend of ours who "wasn't so lucky" with the ladies and I think we paid like $30 but apparently she ended up doing other stuff. that was one crazy night. every time I turned down an offer they would come back and drop the price by half. Then I had one who tried to give me $50 to get her pregnant. It was a crazy night

[ORION]

damn it !

[peewee's lovechild]

The hottest hooker?

That's like trying to decide which brand of pen I'd like repeatedly jabbed through my balls.

No way, dude.
There be some hot hookers out there.

[peewee's lovechild]

Trust me dude, if you arrest them you won't have to force them to do anything. They offer it up!

Fuck.

I want your job.

[CuckingFunt]

Unless that blowjob came with a crate of Canel's gum and a 3-liter bottle of penicillin, it's probably a good idea you passed.
:lmao

The Canel's really sells the joke.

[ATRAIN]

Unless that blowjob came with a crate of Canel's gum and a 3-liter bottle of penicillin, it's probably a good idea you passed.


I might have gone for it if they threw in the gum and a shoe shine.

[peewee's lovechild]

:lmao

The Canel's really sells the joke.

Yea, it does.

That was a good one.

But, it isn't that bad.
Trust me.

[ATRAIN]

We went down there and we took a friend of ours who "wasn't so lucky" with the ladies and I think we paid like $30 but apparently she ended up doing other stuff. that was one crazy night. every time I turned down an offer they would come back and drop the price by half. Then I had one who tried to give me $50 to get her pregnant. It was a crazy night


LOL 50 bucks to get her prego LMAO wtf!!!!

[florige]

Geeez "24" kicks ass on so may levels!!!

[peewee's lovechild]

I might have gone for it if they threw in the gum and a shoe shine.

You would have gone for it if they would have thrown in a little Mexican boy.

[CuckingFunt]

Fuck! I can't stop fucking sneezing!!

I'm going to cut my nose off.

[peewee's lovechild]

Geeez "24" kicks ass on so may levels!!!

Why?
Is Bauer arresting and fucking hookers this time around??

That would be soooooo kick ass!!!!!!!!

[peewee's lovechild]

Fuck! I can't stop fucking sneezing!!

I'm going to cut my nose off.

Cut it clean the fuck off.

Take pictures.

[ORION]

LOL 50 bucks to get her prego LMAO wtf!!!!
long story but she kept saying something like I was the greatest looking white/mexican she had ever seen and she wanted my baby. I remember I kept telling her no no no and she pulls out her little purse and grabs her money and kept trying to shove it in my pockets.

[florige]

Fuck.

I want your job.


Maybe with those clean wholesome Texas women. Not here in Baltimore with all those STD's floating around condom or not. F That!!!

[Viva Las Espuelas]

Geeez "24" kicks ass on so may levels!!!i don't watch it, but garafalo is going to mess it up next season

[CuckingFunt]

Tila Tequila just said, with a straight face, that she's a musician.

Oh, lordy... that was fucking hilarious.

[ATRAIN]

You would have gone for it if they would have thrown in a little Mexican boy.

No im not a Catholic priest so I wouldn't have gone for it.

[ATRAIN]

long story but she kept saying something like I was the greatest looking white/mexican she had ever seen and she wanted my baby. I remember I kept telling her no no no and she pulls out her little purse and grabs her money and kept trying to shove it in my pockets.


WAIT she was trying to PAY YOU???

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

Yea, it does.

That was a good one.

But, it isn't that bad.
Trust me.

That reminds me of the Foxworthy bit about buying a rental car.

You just really don't want to put your key in something that's been ridden that hard for as long as it's been on the road.

She's just fucking anybody who comes by with some dollar bills the snack machine at work refused to take or a faded white collector's cup from Taco Cabana that's full of change to spread her legs or open her mouth.

That's where I draw the line. I'll jerk off and be just fine.

Man, I even get antsy if a girl I go out on a date with says she liked "T.J. Hooker."

[florige]

Why?
Is Bauer arresting and fucking hookers this time around??

That would be soooooo kick ass!!!!!!!!



That would be kick ass!!! :lol

[ATRAIN]

wholesome Texas women.
:lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao :lmao

[ATRAIN]

That would be kick ass!!! :lol


are you caught up waiting for next season?

[florige]

i don't watch it, but garafalo is going to mess it up next season


What that person sucks or something?

[ATRAIN]

What that person sucks or something?


She will prob get herself killed like Samwise did.

[florige]

are you caught up waiting for next season?


Yeah that, and I'm just re-watching season 6. Even though I have seen it before you still watch it like it's your first time.

[CuckingFunt]

I've tried to get into 24, but I've never been able to. I think I don't have the attention span for it.

I very seldom watch TV without doing five thousand other things at the same time, and with that show you can miss an entire plot point if you take your eyes off the screen for a second.

[peewee's lovechild]

What that person sucks or something?

You say you're a movie guy??

Really??

[peewee's lovechild]

Tila Tequila just said, with a straight face, that she's a musician.

Oh, lordy... that was fucking hilarious.

Why are you watching this??

Why?

[florige]

I've tried to get into 24, but I've never been able to. I think I don't have the attention span for it.

I very seldom watch TV without doing five thousand other things at the same time, and with that show you can miss an entire plot point if you take your eyes off the screen for a second.


True, but most of the time they do a pretty good recap the following week so you can follow up. I have missed episodes sometimes due to the fact that the recording comes out messed up.

[CuckingFunt]

Why are you watching this??

Why?
I don't know. I'm hardly paying attention to it.

Also, I'm not at my house with my things and I'm bored as hell. All my friends are at work, too, so I can't bug any of them.

[florige]

You say you're a movie guy??

Really??


I'm not really good with names the Peewee. I will probably reconize the person by face. I'm going to check it out right now,

[peewee's lovechild]

I don't know. I'm hardly paying attention to it.

Also, I'm not at my house with my things and I'm bored as hell. All my friends are at work, too, so I can't bug any of them.

Not an excuse.

Not by a long shot.

[peewee's lovechild]

I'm not really good with names the Peewee. I will probably reconize the person by face. I'm going to check it out right now,

Mystery Men, The Matchmaker, The Truth About Dogs & Cats, etc.

[CuckingFunt]

Not an excuse.

Not by a long shot.
I wasn't trying to excuse it. You asked why I was watching it, and that's why.

It seemed preferable to a marathon of America's Most Smartest Model.

[florige]

Mystery Men, The Matchmaker, The Truth About Dogs & Cats, etc.


I just checked her out and still don't reconize her face. She looks kinda airheadish from her IMDB pictures.

[ATRAIN]

Mystery Men, The Matchmaker, The Truth About Dogs & Cats, etc.


Dogma

[samikeyp]

Cable Guy

[CuckingFunt]

I just checked her out and still don't reconize her face. She looks kinda airheadish from her IMDB pictures.
She's a nerd. And started as a stand-up.

Got her big acting break in Reality Bites.

[florige]

She's a nerd. And started as a stand-up.

Got her big acting break in Reality Bites.


That may suck then if she is going to be on "24". Maybe me not knowing who she is hopefully it won't effect me much. Hey A, do you think by you knowing this woman that she will suck being on "24"? They only have her down listed for a few episodes. I hope she is not the FBI agent Jack is supposedly working with this season.

[ORION]

WAIT she was trying to PAY YOU???
yes. :wakeup

[peewee's lovechild]

I just checked her out and still don't reconize her face. She looks kinda airheadish from her IMDB pictures.

Not even close.

She's pretty fucking smart.

And, for some reason, I actually find her attractive.

[peewee's lovechild]

That may suck then if she is going to be on "24". Maybe me not knowing who she is hopefully it won't effect me much. Hey A, do you think by you knowing this woman that she will suck being on "24"? They only have her down listed for a few episodes. I hope she is not the FBI agent Jack is supposedly working with this season.

I think she's a good fit.

Do you know how politically active she is? She would probably add some weight to the show. I can totally see her as a government official.

[ATRAIN]

That may suck then if she is going to be on "24". Maybe me not knowing who she is hopefully it won't effect me much. Hey A, do you think by you knowing this woman that she will suck being on "24"? They only have her down listed for a few episodes. I hope she is not the FBI agent Jack is supposedly working with this season.



She will be overshadowed by Jack's greatness, do I think she will ruin the show no.

[CuckingFunt]

Bored.

Bored, bored, bored.

[ORION]

Bored.

Bored, bored, bored.
captain murphy !

[ORION]

I went to get some BBQ right now and the stuffed bobcat is still there ! Someone is supposed to buy me that for christmas ! get to it you fuckers

[florige]

I didn't know nothing about this girl. I've heard somewhere else that she would be a horrible fit. But like I said, I am clueless to who this girl is... If she fits in good then more power to her!

[florige]

Not even close.

She's pretty fucking smart.

And, for some reason, I actually find her attractive.


Yeah she looks nice. I just wish the freakin season would start already.

[CuckingFunt]

I'm dumbfounded that someone wouldn't know who Janeane Garafalo is.

[florige]

Bored.

Bored, bored, bored.


You could always tell us some of your kinky sex stories to liven things up a bit around here.

[florige]

I'm dumbfounded that someone wouldn't know who Jeneanne Garafalo is.


I know, I know... Peewee has already busted my balls on it enough already funt... :lol

[CuckingFunt]

You could always tell us some of your kinky sex stories to liven things up a bit around here.
I'm in a long distance relationship. My kinky sex stories are pretty much nonexistent these days.

[ATRAIN]

I went to get some BBQ right now and the stuffed bobcat is still there ! Someone is supposed to buy me that for christmas ! get to it you fuckers


Im gonna steal it for myself!!

[CuckingFunt]

I live in an area that's mostly coastal redwood forests. Every time I go on a long drive, I pass by places that sell various carved statues and tacky redwood burl clocks and stuff. For some reason, one of the most common statues is a bear eating a soft serve ice cream cone.

It fascinates me.

I must own one.

[CuckingFunt]

I could play some PS3. That might cure the boredom for a while.

But... I don't wanna.

[florige]

I'm in a long distance relationship. My kinky sex stories are pretty much nonexistent these days.



:depressed

[ORION]

Im gonna steal it for myself!!
I will pour honey down your pants then turn a badger loose. then after that I will push you in a pool full of salt. Then put razor blades inside your blow up doll

[Viva Las Espuelas]

That may suck then if she is going to be on "24". Maybe me not knowing who she is hopefully it won't effect me much. Hey A, do you think by you knowing this woman that she will suck being on "24"? They only have her down listed for a few episodes. I hope she is not the FBI agent Jack is supposedly working with this season.she is being quoted as the "liberal" injection to the show. as if hollywood needs any more "liberation"

[to21]

I could play some PS3. That might cure the boredom for a while.

But... I don't wanna.

I wish I was at home to play ps3.

I have so much to do before the week lets out. Not to mention I'll be gone for two weeks.

[CuckingFunt]

:depressed
x 1,000

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

For some reason, one of the most common statues is a bear eating a soft serve ice cream cone.


http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/26050ea6ee

[to21]

I will pour honey down your pants then turn a badger loose. then after that I will push you in a pool full of salt. Then put razor blades inside your blow up doll

ORION'S kinky.

[to21]

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/26050ea6ee

God damn internet filter! :pctoss

[CuckingFunt]

I wish I was at home to play ps3.

I have so much to do before the week lets out. Not to mention I'll be gone for two weeks.
I just don't like being cooped in someone else's house. It's a weird feeling. My normal couch potato instincts are thrown off kilter by not having my stuff all around me.

I've actually got a bunch of errands to run, but I'm laundry-ing today, so those will probably get done tomorrow.

[CuckingFunt]

http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/26050ea6ee
It's too bad I don't like John Mayer's music. I actually think he's kind of a cute smart ass.

[ATRAIN]

I will pour honey down your pants then turn a badger loose. then after that I will push you in a pool full of salt. Then put razor blades inside your blow up doll


and when I heal up ill have me a kick ass stuffed animal.

[ORION]

and when I heal up ill have me a kick ass stuffed animal.
:pctoss

[ATRAIN]

:pctoss


Don't worry ill let you come see it from time to time.

[CuckingFunt]

All this fighting over a stuffed pussy...

Tsk tsk.

[to21]

Pussy is worth fighting for.

Stuffed Pussy not so much.

[CuckingFunt]

Pussy is worth fighting for.

Stuffed Pussy not so much.
Pussy isn't really worth fighting for, either.

[florige]

she is being quoted as the "liberal" injection to the show. as if hollywood needs any more "liberation"


Hopefully she is worth something and she doesn't come on and F crap up.

[ATRAIN]

All this fighting over a stuffed pussy...

Tsk tsk.


Not really fighting, Orion is prob on his way over there to steal it as we speak!!

[MannyIsGod]

Its probably a good thing I can't reach through the computer to punch people. There would be a lot of stupid motherfuckers walking around with broken noses.

[ATRAIN]

Its probably a good thing I can't reach through the computer to punch people. There would be a lot of stupid motherfuckers walking around with broken noses.


LOL give some examples pussy!!

[CuckingFunt]

I've always wanted to steal the statue off the back of a Western Exterminator truck, but I've never had the stones to do it.

[CuckingFunt]

Fuck whomever decided that the ATHF video game should be a golf game.

Fuck them right in the ass.

[florige]

Don't worry ill let you come see it from time to time.



:lol

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

Its probably a good thing I can't reach through the computer to punch people. There would be a lot of stupid motherfuckers walking around with broken noses.

This oughta be good.

Explain.

[Johnny_Blaze_47]

Wow. My company just sent out the second in a series of e-mails about a new e-mail signature policy (granted, the second one answered a specific question I had, but still...)

[ORION]

Not really fighting, Orion is prob on his way over there to steal it as we speak!!
I was slowly getting up to leave and get it then I read this and sat back down