Free Quattro Razor (17)

[ORION]

what? no it wasn't me. well i found out someone sent a warning they saw on foxnews.com about a youtube link virus threat. DAMN REPUBLICAN!!! i hope this same idiot doesn't see the "don't flash your lights at night to a car that doesn't have their lights on" email. :bang

how will I entertain myself without youtube at work? Well we are about to leave for a team builder. We are having a scavenger hunt with another team. It will involve drinking and driving I'm sure

[mrsmaalox]

SUNUVABITCH!!!!

some dumb jackass opened an email with a youtube link that somehow infected our server. now i can't view or go anywhere that has youtube in the url.

damn you jackass that forwards emails to 10 people so you won't have bad luck!!!!

Seems to me you are the one having some bad luck. Better get to forwarding those emails ASAP!

[peewee's lovechild]

damn... ashbeeigh is a dirty whore who fucks convicted felons.

the writing is on the wall.

That should make things easier for me.

[peewee's lovechild]

I wonder if doing the motorboat is even possible on Ashbeigh.

I think my head would just get stuck in between those ginoroumus jugs.

Ha, that just put a smile on my face.

[jman3000]

false positives for pregnancy tests are the gayest things ever.

[ORION]

I wonder if doing the motorboat is even possible on Ashbeigh.

I think my head would just get stuck in between those ginoroumus jugs.

Ha, that just put a smile on my face.
Have you ever had your sack motorboated? Its awesome!

[samikeyp]

I wonder if doing the motorboat is even possible on Ashbeigh.

I think my head would just get stuck in between those ginoroumus jugs.

Ha, that just put a smile on my face.

I wonder as well, it would be worth finding out.

[CuckingFunt]

false positives for pregnancy tests are the gayest things ever.

Actually... that sounds pretty damn straight to me.

In any case, they're a hell of a lot better than false negatives.

[to21]

Have you ever had your sack motorboated? Its awesome!:lmao
Don't tell us you like the cornhole motorboated also.

[ORION]

:lmao
Don't tell us you like the cornhole motorboated also.

Ok I won't tell you ........

[ORION]

So our scavenger hunt yesterday sucked ass. Nothing illegal or dangerous. I was very disappointed

[to21]

You should have brought up the fact you get your salad tossed regularly.

I bet that would have started something,

[peewee's lovechild]

So our scavenger hunt yesterday sucked ass. Nothing illegal or dangerous. I was very disappointed

Is that like looking for colored eggs in Easter?

[ORION]

You should have brought up the fact you get your salad tossed regularly.

I bet that would have started something,

hey don't knock it. I've had some really hot chicks initiate this on me.

[ORION]

Is that like looking for colored eggs in Easter?

That might have been better. I wanted to do some crazy, illegal shit. We had hug a tree. I want take a naked picture on a cop car or run naked in a church.

[to21]

hey don't knock it. I've had some really hot chicks initiate this on me.:lol I'm not knocking it......do ur thing.

[ORION]

:lol I'm not knocking it......do ur thing.

I was whatever. If they were getting turned on then I was all for it.

[peewee's lovechild]

That might have been better. I wanted to do some crazy, illegal shit. We had hug a tree. I want take a naked picture on a cop car or run naked in a church.

How 'bout the next time you fuck a tree?

[peewee's lovechild]

I mean, sure your johnson would be rubbed raw, but at least you'd bust a nut.

[ORION]

How 'bout the next time you fuck a tree?

I do that anyway. I perfer an Ash because the bark is so smooth.

[ORION]

I mean, sure your johnson would be rubbed raw, but at least you'd bust a nut.

I pull out because I don't need any little saplings calling me Daddy.

[peewee's lovechild]

I do that anyway. I perfer an Ash because the bark is so smooth.

Ash?

Are we still talking about trees or Ashbeigh?

Anyway, I'd go with mesquite.
I'm into rough sex.

[peewee's lovechild]

I pull out because I don't need any little saplings calling me Daddy.

That would suck.

And, since they live for hundreds of years, you'd never hear the end of you abandoning them.

[ORION]

That would suck.

And, since they live for hundreds of years, you'd never hear the end of you abandoning them.

Can you imagine paying child support for 45 years

[ORION]

Ash?

Are we still talking about trees or Ashbeigh?

Anyway, I'd go with mesquite.
I'm into rough sex.

No, Ash the tree or even a crape mertle. They both have smooth bark and less splinters

[CuckingFunt]

Eucalyptus has smooth bark, also.

[peewee's lovechild]

Eucalyptus has smooth bark, also.

And it will leave your cock feeling and smelling minty

[CuckingFunt]

And it will leave your cock feeling and smelling minty

And since the bark peels away easily, you could sensually "undress" it before sexy times.

[peewee's lovechild]

And since the bark peels away easily, you could sensually "undress" it before sexy times.

Would the knots be considered nipples?

'Cuz that's a lot of nipples.

[CuckingFunt]

Would the knots be considered nipples?

'Cuz that's a lot of nipples.

Since ingesting too much eucalyptus oil can be toxic, I'm gonna say no. Don't want to encourage that much suckin'.

[peewee's lovechild]

It'd be cool if trees had vaginas.

[CuckingFunt]

It'd be cool if trees had vaginas.

http://img442.imageshack.us/img442/4751/img0097ki9.jpg

http://img392.imageshack.us/img392/2273/thevaginatreeth6.jpg

http://img89.imageshack.us/img89/2913/img1259ue6.jpg

[peewee's lovechild]

Finally something big enough and deep enough for my shlong that isn't maalox's snatch.

[mrsmaalox]

Hahaha. You wish, limpdick.

[ORION]

Since ingesting too much eucalyptus oil can be toxic, I'm gonna say no. Don't want to encourage that much suckin'.

I use protection

[ashbeeigh]

I love my job. Some douche bag just called my office asking if I would register him to vote if he gave me his "dead grandfather's name." We only registered 15 people to vote in this office, all at UTSA. Ridiculous.

[timvp]

Got damn hot water heater not working :madrun

I need to take a shower but the water is ICE cold. I'm thinking of downing some vodka until I'm nice and numb ... and then take an ice shower.

Hmmmmm ... I wonder if this will work.

[RashoFan]

Go to sequ's house to use the shower then go to home depot a buy a new hot water heater.

[ORION]

Got damn hot water heater not working :madrun

I need to take a shower but the water is ICE cold. I'm thinking of downing some vodka until I'm nice and numb ... and then take an ice shower.

Hmmmmm ... I wonder if this will work.

It does because the heat of your puke will warm you up.

[jman3000]

i just got hit on waiting to go across a cross walk... then it was awkward because we ended up walking to the same place.

[ORION]

i just got hit on waiting to go across a cross walk... then it was awkward because we ended up walking to the same place.

The Free Clinic ?

[ashbeeigh]

i just got hit on waiting to go across a cross walk... then it was awkward because we ended up walking to the same place.

Guadalupe Street.

[ORION]

Roosevelt ?......Cherry st ?

[ORION]

Don't Talk Shit About Total !

[jman3000]

she was actually a professionaly dressed woman (not THAT profession) early 30's... white.

it was just really odd.

[jman3000]

the only place ive ever seen hookers was in europe.

maybe im just naive and dont notice them when i see them... but ive never seen a hooker in san antonio.

[ORION]

she was actually a professionaly dressed woman (not THAT profession) early 30's... white.

it was just really odd.

In other words she was ugly

[jman3000]

i wouldnt say ugly.

id have to be drunk to pork her though.

[Trainwreck2100]

i wouldnt say ugly.

id have to be drunk to pork her though.

so she was a 2 then?

[ORION]

so she was a 2 then?

2 bagger

[ORION]

i wouldnt say ugly.

id have to be drunk to pork her though.

drunk or out of options on a saturday night?

[jman3000]

id say a 3-4ish..... i didnt really make a lot of eye contact and she was wearing those large stupid looking bug sunglasses.

[jman3000]

me being drunk is the only way an ugo is getting in my pants.

that or im just really really really really desperate.

which hasnt happened........................................mu ch

[ashbeeigh]

maybe im just naive and dont notice them when i see them... but ive never seen a hooker in san antonio.

Next time I'm on the way to the highway on Guadalupe from work with someone I'm going to ask them to point out a hooker. It'll be like "I spy...a hooker...."

[jman3000]

im going bowling tonight with a girl i was talking to a few months ago... we were just friends, but she broke up with her boyfriend to talk to me... that freaked me out so i told her it wasnt cool and she should get back with the dude...

ive realized that he's a dick wad since then.. so now im gonna see if i can get her back.

[jman3000]

Next time I'm on the way to the highway on Guadalupe from work with someone I'm going to ask them to point out a hooker. It'll be like "I spy...a hooker...."

just dont look in the rear view or the game will be over real quick.

[ashbeeigh]

just dont look in the rear view or the game will be over real quick.

whatever!

[ORION]

id say a 3-4ish..... i didnt really make a lot of eye contact and she was wearing those large stupid looking bug sunglasses.

man I hate those glasses.

[jman3000]

jman - 1

ashbeeigh - 0

[jman3000]

yeah... if i wanna have sex with a beetle, ill have sex with a beetle... i dont need your slut ass wearing hugemongous goggles to get my insect fetish off.

[ORION]

It would be real funny if a girl with those glasses took her glasses off and her eyes were really that big

[jman3000]

lol... id kidnap her and sell her to some guy who has a fetish for anime.

id be rich.

[ashbeeigh]

jman - 1

ashbeeigh - 0

I'll get you one day. One day soon.

[jman3000]

I'll get you one day. One day soon.

again with the rape talk?

every damn time...

[ashbeeigh]

again with the rape talk?

every damn time...

:rolleyes

[jman3000]

:rolleyes

dont roll your eyes at me.

if you continue down this path, there's gonna be a restraining order waiting for you.

[jman3000]

I am NOT a piece of meat.

[ashbeeigh]

dont roll your eyes at me.

if you continue down this path, there's gonna be a restraining order waiting for you.

:lmao But what happened to your irresistible charm?

[jman3000]

shit... even i make a mistake sometimes.... rare as that is.

i can now see that this is entirely my fault and that you couldnt help but want to rape me.

im sorry and i pray that you forgive me.

[CuckingFunt]

i just got hit on waiting to go across a cross walk... then it was awkward because we ended up walking to the same place.

Did you talk to each other while walking, or did you just awkwardly walk a few feet apart the whole way?

[CuckingFunt]

she was actually a professionaly dressed woman (not THAT profession) early 30's... white.

it was just really odd.


In other words she was ugly

Hey! Professionally dressed early 30s white woman does not necessarily equal ugly. It would actually describe me pretty accurately today.


id say a 3-4ish..... i didnt really make a lot of eye contact and she was wearing those large stupid looking bug sunglasses.

Oh... never mind. I would never wear those retarded fucking glasses.

[ORION]

Did you talk to each other while walking, or did you just awkwardly walk a few feet apart the whole way?

I'm sure he walked behind her so he could make an assessment.

[ORION]

Don't Talk Shit About Total !

[jman3000]

Hey! Professionally dressed early 30s white woman does not necessarily equal ugly. It would actually describe me pretty accurately today.



Oh... never mind. I would never wear those retarded fucking glasses.

yeah but youre different.

you have huge cans so you get a pass.

[ORION]

That tourettes guys video is f-ing hilarious !

[ORION]

yeah but youre different.

you have huge cans so you get a pass.

this is true... things get over looked

[jman3000]

she tried talking to me the whole way. you see... it wasnt the "construction worker cat calling female passerby" kind of hitting on... it was the "drunk dude small talking the uncooperative female" kinda hitting on.

[ashbeeigh]

shit... even i make a mistake sometimes.... rare as that is.



ashbeeigh 1

jman 1

[jman3000]

ashbeeigh 1

jman 1

actually it's:

jman: 2

ashbeeigh: 0

since it was my own awesomeness that caused you to want to rape me in the first place.

[ORION]

she tried talking to me the whole way. you see... it wasnt the "construction worker cat calling female passerby" kind of hitting on... it was the "drunk dude small talking the uncooperative female" kinda hitting on.

Did she use the "I'm on welfare" line ? A chick used that on a friend of mine way back. That was funny

[jman3000]

ashbeeigh has to be one of the most stupid words or abreviations ever created.

i literally feel like punching myself everytime i type it out.

[jman3000]

Did she use the "I'm on welfare" line ? A chick used that on a friend of mine way back. That was funny

:lol

a buddy of mine was telling me he overheard a dude say "yeah bro, im officially on welfare!"

and then they did a high five.

fucking people.

[CuckingFunt]

yeah but youre different.

you have huge cans so you get a pass.

Huge cans mean nothing.

Even ashbeeigh has huge cans.

[jman3000]

Huge cans mean nothing.

Even ashbeeigh has huge cans.

point taken... but you live far away so there is a certain aura of mystery around yours.

covet what you cant have and all that.

[jman3000]

and ashbeeigh's huge cans are attached to an ashbeeigh... so there ya go.

[ashbeeigh]

ashbeeigh has to be one of the most stupid words or abreviations ever created.


at least its creative.


:lol

a buddy of mine was telling me he overheard a dude say "yeah bro, im officially on welfare!"

and then they did a high five.

fucking people.

I swear, the first time we are able to qualify someone for food stamps, tanf, or medicaid in this office there will be some high fives..but for other reasons.

[ORION]

:lol

a buddy of mine was telling me he overheard a dude say "yeah bro, im officially on welfare!"

and then they did a high five.

fucking people.

She was large, mexican and had a little stache growing.

[ORION]

My co-worker offered me some turkey jerky and said to go ahead and get it. I told her I didn't have a knife. then she said "you've been finger banging something? Use your fingers!"

[CuckingFunt]

My co-worker offered me some turkey jerky and said to go ahead and get it. I told her I didn't have a knife. then she said "you've been finger banging something? Use your fingers!"

That seems to be a very odd thought process.

[ORION]

That seems to be a very odd thought process.

Odd maybe but totally unexpected. I LOL'd

[RashoFan]

It would be real funny if a girl with those glasses took her glasses off and her eyes were really that big

I think I need my head examined....When I read this line, this is what pop up in my head...
http://www.filmdope.com/Gallery/ActorsC/4039-19826.gif
:lol
love that movie...:rollin

[jman3000]

im going bowling tonight with a girl i was talking to a few months ago... we were just friends, but she broke up with her boyfriend to talk to me... that freaked me out so i told her it wasnt cool and she should get back with the dude...

ive realized that he's a dick wad since then.. so now im gonna see if i can get her back.

FAIL

im so preoccupied with this paper im supposed to finish that i chilled for about an hour and then jetted.

o well.

[Trainwreck2100]

I've spent the last 30 minutes jammin out to "The Green Hill Zone" from Sonic the hedgehog.

[jman3000]

i liked the music from the labrynth stages.

[CuckingFunt]

i liked the music from the labrynth stages.

This has already been discussed elsewhere, but:

cDd_GlynA6A

and

LXukwNQG0uA

rule Sonic the Hedgehog.

Ih8c6I1zH7I

Is the best of Sonic 2.

[CuckingFunt]

And this is the music that still haunts me in my dreams.

fpFi6rEDrDY

[jman3000]

youre going to run out of fucking air!@

[Trainwreck2100]

fuck that underwater shit

[ShoogarBear]

w8WYh8uz3pQ

[Trainwreck2100]

eH1eZ3EoO44

[RashoFan]

I wake up to see MC Hammer cartoon and Angry Beavers??? WTF?
TW, love the new avatar. :tu

[ORION]

And this is the music that still haunts me in my dreams.

fpFi6rEDrDY

That's the music thats plays in my head when I'm about to bust !

[jman3000]

not sure what to think of this one... just turned in a paper right now and i offered to take a girls paper up for her because i was already on my way. ive never spoken to her before but i felt like being nice for a change.

i get back and she starts chit chatting me up.

can i call that getting hit on or is it grasping?

[ORION]

not sure what to think of this one... just turned in a paper right now and i offered to take a girls paper up for her because i was already on my way. ive never spoken to her before but i felt like being nice for a change.

i get back and she starts chit chatting me up.

can i call that getting hit on or is it grasping?

Always take it as getting hit on. That way you have a better chance at scoring

[Trainwreck2100]

not sure what to think of this one... just turned in a paper right now and i offered to take a girls paper up for her because i was already on my way. ive never spoken to her before but i felt like being nice for a change.

i get back and she starts chit chatting me up.

can i call that getting hit on or is it grasping?


you just need to get in close enough for the chloroform

[CuckingFunt]

not sure what to think of this one... just turned in a paper right now and i offered to take a girls paper up for her because i was already on my way. ive never spoken to her before but i felt like being nice for a change.

i get back and she starts chit chatting me up.

can i call that getting hit on or is it grasping?

Could just be a shy girl responding to your interaction. I tend to be a lot more talkative with people when they initiate some sort of interaction, even if there's no flirting or hitting on either side of the conversation.

[jman3000]

shit... it's been 5 days since ive gotten ass and ive already started to get desperate.

[jman3000]

im thinking CF is right in this situation.... she's kinda nerdy looking... not ugly... but not a looker either.

[ORION]

Could just be a shy girl responding to your interaction. I tend to be a lot more talkative with people when they initiate some sort of interaction, even if there's no flirting or hitting on either side of the conversation.

you call it conversation but we all know its really an interview

[Trainwreck2100]

shit... it's been 5 days since ive gotten ass and ive already started to get desperate.


im thinking CF is right in this situation.... she's kinda nerdy looking... not ugly... but not a looker either.


I weep for you

[jman3000]

ill take all the sympathy i can.

[jman3000]

poon tang will be accepted as well.

[CuckingFunt]

poon tang will be accepted as well.

I'm much more picky when accepting poon tang than I am when accepting sympathy.

[jman3000]

meh... it's all the same

[ORION]

Man one of the nice ones has a very short skirt on today

[Viva Las Espuelas]

Man one of the nice ones has a very short skirt on today
SLUT!

[samikeyp]

I'm much more picky when accepting poon tang than I am when accepting sympathy.

Funt is wise.

[ORION]

SLUT!

she's not but dang she looks good

[Viva Las Espuelas]

she's not but dang she looks good
how do you know.

[ORION]

how do you know.

I know her and unfortunately she is not, but swing by over here and I will introduce you to her.

[Viva Las Espuelas]

I know her and unfortunately she is not, but swing by over here and I will introduce you to her.
i think i'm too far to do that. office eye candy helps the day go by quicker. we just lost one here friday and that was a big blow to the scenery.

[ORION]

i think i'm too far to do that. office eye candy helps the day go by quicker. we just lost one here friday and that was a big blow to the scenery.

A moment of silence for the dearly departed

[Viva Las Espuelas]

A moment of silence for the dearly departedi took her seat home for personal use.

[ORION]

i took her seat home for personal use.

:lol

[Viva Las Espuelas]

:lol
i got funny looks bringing it back.

[mrsmaalox]

i got funny looks bringing it back.

But did you at least buy it dinner?

[Viva Las Espuelas]

But did you at least buy it dinner?it didn't answer me, so i didn't.

[mrsmaalox]

it didn't answer me, so i didn't.

What a user jerk.

[jman3000]

wtf? orion is hooking people up with office skanks?

im single and id be down with meeting some.

[ORION]

wtf? orion is hooking people up with office skanks?

im single and id be down with meeting some.

no I'm not but she is nice and she is not married. Swing by and I'll show you the sights

[I. Hustle]

A moment of silence for the dearly departed

:flag:

[jman3000]

no I'm not but she is nice and she is not married. Swing by and I'll show you the sights

:lol dont think that i wouldnt.

as long as she's smart and has a decent sense of humor id be down.

[I. Hustle]

Where do you work dude that we can just go and check out the merchandise?

[CuckingFunt]

It's been years and years and years since I bid on anything from eBay. The fact that I'm a few minutes from winning my items is quite dorkily thrilling.

[jman3000]

It's been years and years and years since I bid on anything from eBay. The fact that I'm a few minutes from winning my items is quite dorkily thrilling.

you will be bid sniped.

i guarantee it.

[jman3000]

Where do you work dude that we can just go and check out the merchandise?

women are not objects.

they should be treated with respect and decency.

[ORION]

:lol dont think that i wouldnt.

as long as she's smart and has a decent sense of humor id be down.

she is smart and has a 13 year old

[CuckingFunt]

you will be bid sniped.

i guarantee it.

Don't jinx me!

[ORION]

Where do you work dude that we can just go and check out the merchandise?

A big company in New Braunfels .....Oh and in case you haven't seen me post this .....We drink beer on fridays during work hours

[I. Hustle]

women are not objects.

they should be treated with respect and decency.

I'm not talking about wives or girlfriends. I'm talking about the ones we aren't attached to. Those are the objects.

[CuckingFunt]

you will be bid sniped.

i guarantee it.


Don't jinx me!

Mother fuck!!

[jman3000]

she is smart and has a 13 year old


if she has a 13 year old she might be too old for me.

as far as cougars go im saving myself for spurschick.

[I. Hustle]

A big company in New Braunfels .....Oh and in case you haven't seen me post this .....We drink beer on fridays during work hours

Any openings...








besides the one between your legs bada bump zing

[ORION]

It's been years and years and years since I bid on anything from eBay. The fact that I'm a few minutes from winning my items is quite dorkily thrilling.

I bet your the only one betting on a jabber jaws lunch box

[jman3000]

Mother fuck!!

:lol

[ORION]

Any openings...








besides the one between your legs bada bump zing

let me check .....actually we are in Sales and Marketing.

[jman3000]

did i.hustle just offer to fuck orions urethra?

[ORION]

Look who returned ! wait where did he go ?

[ORION]

did i.hustle just offer to fuck orions urethra?

If he tried I wouldn't feel a thing .......

[I. Hustle]

If he tried I wouldn't feel a thing .......

I'm not THAT small

[I. Hustle]

let me check .....actually we are in Sales and Marketing.

What does that mean?

[ORION]

if she has a 13 year old she might be too old for me.

as far as cougars go im saving myself for spurschick.
No she had the kid young like 16

[ORION]

What does that mean?

It means we are hiring.

[jman3000]

No she had the kid young like 16

i thought she wasnt a slut?

[ORION]

i thought she wasnt a slut?
Hey your right. Maybe I'm not hot enough.

[I. Hustle]

It means we are hiring.

What do I need to do? I can wear short skirts.

[I. Hustle]

Short skirt + kid at 16 + single = ssssssssluuuuuuuuttttttt

[ORION]

What do I need to do? I can wear short skirts.
Yeah but since you have the cottage cheese thighs you shouldn't wear them

[I. Hustle]

No way dude. I got the thighs.

[jman3000]

im down.

[ORION]

im down.

well I can have guests. I will lie and say I have some potential employees. Everyone loves me there.

[jman3000]

shit... i was checking out a chick and i glanced at a dude and we made eye contact.

we made eye contact earlier too.

i hope he doesnt think i was checkign him out.

[jman3000]

well I can have guests. I will lie and say I have some potential employees. Everyone loves me there.

i need to make sure my pheromones are smelling right.

[mrsmaalox]

http://i210.photobucket.com/albums/bb95/staceyrutherford/sex_panther_cologne.gif

[ORION]

shit... i was checking out a chick and i glanced at a dude and we made eye contact.

we made eye contact earlier too.

i hope he doesnt think i was checkign him out.

gahey

[Trainwreck2100]

shit... i was checking out a chick and i glanced at a dude and we made eye contact.

we made eye contact earlier too.

i hope he doesnt think i was checkign him out.

He probably thinks you're a tease

[ORION]

i glanced at a dude and we made eye contact.

we made eye contact earlier too.


This is pretty fruit loopish

[jman3000]

it was love at fist site

[Viva Las Espuelas]

it was love at fist siteshe's kinky, huh?

[ORION]

it was love at fist site

I bet that dude is just a friend and the chick said man that guy over there with the mustache is hot. then the dude said " whoa he is checking ME out"

[I. Hustle]

and you say he's just a friend
and you say he's just a friend

[ORION]

Night Fever
Night Fever

[jman3000]

I bet that dude is just a friend and the chick said man that guy over there with the mustache is hot. then the dude said " whoa he is checking ME out"

i hope not... he kinda had a metrosexual/gaysexual look about him.

she had a "i look like a prude but ill screw your brains out" look.

[I. Hustle]

she had a "i look like a prude but ill screw your brains out" look.

Love that look

[CuckingFunt]

i hope not... he kinda had a metrosexual/gaysexual look about him.

she had a "i look like a prude but ill screw your brains out" look.

I... um... I'm not saying that I'm willing to drive to Texas or anything, but... um... did she also have a gaysexual/bisexual look about her?

[jman3000]

fuck off.

stop trying to steal all the ladies.

[ORION]

The chick that I think is the best in my department got promoted just right now. I'm thinking about giving her the "uncomfortable" hug.... maybe she will like it

[ORION]

oh and fyi she has nice looking fakies

[jman3000]

congratulate her by offering to buy her a drink.

spike it.



enjoy.

[ORION]

I... um... I'm not saying that I'm willing to drive to Texas or anything, but... um... did she also have a gaysexual/bisexual look about her?


fuck off.

stop trying to steal all the ladies.

:lol:lol

[jman3000]

jman does not endorse rape of any kind.

[I. Hustle]

I love the uncomfertable hug. This one older but gooder looking lady used to back into me so i would put my arms around her and accidently slip and touch b00bie. She wanted it and I wasn't married at the time. Turns out she ended up getting it from another young'n at work. They are still together though so I guess I lucked out. She was probably clingy

[batman2883]

Jason Is Spanish For Needs Some F'n Poon

[CuckingFunt]

fuck off.

stop trying to steal all the ladies.

Steal? Me?? Never!

[jman3000]

bitches

[jman3000]

it's been a week and a day since i've got laid and i'm having withdrawals.

it's a text message away but i'm the most stubborn SOB in existence.

[Dr. Gonzo]

:lol:lol

:lol

[jman3000]

"two friends walking... do do dooo... one's fat and short... one's tall and skinny... two friends walking... do do dooo"

[jman3000]

if i was short and fat that's the first thing i would do... look for a tall skinny friend so we could look weird walking around together.

[ORION]

congratulate her by offering to buy her a drink.

spike it.



enjoy.

BOING !!!!!!
That reminds me of a story. One of my finer moments

[ORION]

Jason Is Spanish For Needs Some F'n Poon

I still haven't seen those pictures you dingle douche

[jman3000]

BOING !!!!!!
That reminds me of a story. One of my finer moments

wtf?

:lol

[ORION]

wtf?

:lol

long story but lets just say I did what I had to do .......twice !!!

[jman3000]

not creepy at all.....

[ORION]

not creepy at all.....

No I didn't drug a chick and rape her if thats what your thinking...its a long story

[ORION]

I mean I didn't serve time or anything for it

[jman3000]

No I didn't drug a chick and rape her if thats what your thinking... I drugged her and raped her TWICE

[ORION]

:lol
long story ....batman even knows the chick

[jman3000]

now, now... everyone knows batman knows nobody.

[ORION]

now, now... everyone knows batman knows nobody.

well just to show that I didn't rape her, but it was pretty funny

[jman3000]

well just to show that I didn't rape her, but it was pretty funny

rape is not a laughing matter.

sodomy on the other hand....

[ORION]

rape is not a laughing matter.

sodomy on the other hand....

oh man you just keeping bring up funny stories that I have

[batman2883]

i said i like it at a 7, and this is clearly 6.8

[jman3000]

oh man you just keeping bring up funny stories that I have


:lmao

what if i bring up donkey sex?

[jman3000]

n/m... i think everybody has a donkey sex story...

[ORION]

n/m... i think everybody has a donkey sex story...

dang right ! Boystown ! La Zona ...had a blast

[ORION]

:pctoss:pctoss:pctoss:pctoss:pctoss:pctoss:pctoss
fucking bullshit ! My director just gave away another one of my sales ! Its like she wants me fired. Maybe because she wants me and knows she can't have me
fucking bullshit ! fucking bullshit !
Bob Saget !

[jman3000]

people wanting you and not being able to have you should amount to 90% of everyone's troubles.

[ORION]

Holy shit the last dragon is on!!

[ShoogarBear]

Who the hell is Steven and how does he get away with using midge's avatar?

[CuckingFunt]

Who the hell is Steven and how does he get away with using midge's avatar?

I can't tell if it's a fake midge pretending to be midge, or the real midge pretending to be a fake midge.

[Dr. Gonzo]

I think it's a fake midge pretending to be a fake midge.

asshole

[ShoogarBear]

Fuck midge. Where the hell is SilBlack?

[CuckingFunt]

I think it's a fake midge pretending to be a fake midge.

Nah. Too obvious.


asshole

Cunt.

[Dr. Gonzo]

In the shower. :eyebrows

[ORION]

Great movie but I swear I think I have The Glow or whatever it is it itches like hell

[ORION]

Who the hell is Steven and how does he get away with using midge's avatar?
Shoog shut up you sound like you're B positive

[peewee's lovechild]

Don't let me dowwwwwn . . .

Don't let meeee dowwwn . .

[peewee's lovechild]

John Lennon was a god among men.

[peewee's lovechild]

I hope he's in heaven beating the shit out of Jesus for being a pussy.

[peewee's lovechild]

Jesus is probably jealous that God likes John Lennon better than him.

[peewee's lovechild]

I don't believe in Jesus
I don't believe in Elvis
I don't believe in Zimmerman
I don't believe in Beatles

I just believe . . . in me.

The dream is over . . .

[CuckingFunt]

I hope he's in heaven beating the shit out of Jesus for being a pussy.

You hope John Lennon is somewhere that doesn't exist?

[peewee's lovechild]

You hope John Lennon is somewhere that doesn't exist?

That's how much of a bad ass he is.

He's even in places that don't exist.

Thousands of years from now, when humanity has mastered the science of space travel and they send a ship to where no man has gone before in search of the source for all life as we know it . . . they will find John Lennon spreading his seed all over the place.

Such is the greatness of John Lennon.

[Trainwreck2100]

rape is not a laughing matter.


I jumped of the middle platform in the nadatorium ended up landing butt first. I splashed the instructor and was violated by the water

[peewee's lovechild]

I want my very own "Lost Weekend".

I also need my very own Asian whore artist bitch following me around.

[ShoogarBear]

Shoog shut up you sound like you're B positive

Is that like B Natural?

[ShoogarBear]

John Lennon was a god among men.

http://www.didntread.com/music/accepting-that-john-lennon-was-a-douchebag-is-much-like-the-five-stages-of-death.html

[CuckingFunt]

I need to figure out something to do tonight. I'm bored.

[ShoogarBear]

I need to figure out something to do tonight. I'm bored.

I could bore you some more.

[CuckingFunt]

I could bore you some more.

Ba-dum *ching*

[ShoogarBear]

Is that a yes?

[peewee's lovechild]

http://www.didntread.com/music/accepting-that-john-lennon-was-a-douchebag-is-much-like-the-five-stages-of-death.html

Dude, of course he was a bit of a douchebag.

But, then again, so has god.

That fucker, according to the good book, burned an entire city-state because they liked fucking.

He got his only kid killed.

He flooded the world.

He lets his people, da jews, get their asses kicked all the time (Egypt, Babylon, Persia, Hitler, Muslims).

And, he makes you burn in Hell if you fuck before you get married.

The worst Lennon did was cheat on his chicks and get drunk every once in a while.

But, he was a musical genius and that makes him better than any god.

[peewee's lovechild]

I need to figure out something to do tonight. I'm bored.

Try inserting a 5 gallon water jug up your snatch.

That should provide hours of endless entertainment.

And snap some pics of you doing it.

[CuckingFunt]

I'd like to go see RocknRolla, but it's not playing here.

[ShoogarBear]

You're no daisy. You're no daisy a'tall.

[CuckingFunt]

Try inserting a 5 gallon water jug up your snatch.

That should provide hours of endless entertainment.

And snap some pics of you doing it.

I think I'll pass.

[CuckingFunt]

You're no daisy. You're no daisy a'tall.

I haven't watched that movie in a while.

[peewee's lovechild]

You're no daisy. You're no daisy a'tall.

I'm your huckleberry.

[ORION]

well shit. Why doesn't everyone show up when I'm bored at work. Its pointless to post my random bullshit if no one is here. Haha by the way I did some funny shit with a fake hand at work today.

[ShoogarBear]

I didn't know any chicks liked that movie.

[peewee's lovechild]

I think I'll pass.

You are the very definition of boring.

[peewee's lovechild]

well shit. Why doesn't everyone show up when I'm bored at work. Its pointless to post my random bullshit if no one is here. Haha by the way I did some funny shit with a fake hand at work today.

Was it wrapped around your cock in a suggestive fashion?

[peewee's lovechild]

I didn't know any chicks liked that movie.

Urban myth: she ain't no chick.

[ShoogarBear]

Johnny Ringo is an educated man. Now I really hate him.

[ORION]

Try inserting a 5 gallon water jug up your snatch.

That should provide hours of endless entertainment.

And snap some pics of you doing it. you know the very first porn mag I saw was almost this exactly

[CuckingFunt]

I didn't know any chicks liked that movie.

That's usually the response to about 75% of my DVD collection.

[peewee's lovechild]

Johnny Ringo is an educated man. Now I really hate him.

Eventus stultorum magister.

[Melmart1]

In the shower. :eyebrows

If this is really Midge, then tell me how her birthday went.

[peewee's lovechild]

you know the very first porn mag I saw was almost this exactly

Dude, I HAVE TO know what that was.